Ok. I really KNOW that our issue isn't that big of a deal. I know that it will get better. But at the same time I don't know how much to push.
DD is 5 days old and was born at 36 w 6 d (we know that theese dates are accurate) with IUGR.
They estimated her gestational age at 34 weeks, so not too bad.
She was 4 lbs 7 oz and 16 inches long. She dropped to 4 lbs by the next am.
She is in the NICU with typical 34 weeker and cesarean issues.
She is doing great now. Off all IV nutrition and on room air.
However she is still struggling a little bit to keep her temp up and eating wears her out.
She is getting every other feed through the ng.
As much as I wish I could be there for every feed, I cannot. It sucks, but I need healing and my 2 yo is a mess right now.
I get there for at least 2 and possible 3 feeds a day.
So they are giving her a bottle a lot. Which is fine. Things change when baby is in the NICU. But different nurses have different ideas about what flow nipple to use and since it is totally up to their discretion she often gets the faster flow nipple so that she can eat bbefore she tires out.
Last night I came in and went to put her to breast for the second time. And she latches pretty good, but her mouth is tiny and my nipple is not and the milk doesn't flow fast and she gets frustrated easy.
So I could see she was tiring out and I let my dh give her the rest of the feed with the bottle.
I feel bad for giving in, but at this point isn't it about getting her strong and out of the NICU? Then moving off the bottle when I can be with her 100% of the time?
I feel bad because I gave up and I feel bad because she so obviously wanted to nurse, but wanted it now.
It doesn't help when we have one of the nurses that are not as enthusiastic about the actual nursing (breastmilk is great, but breastfeeding not necessary to some of them)
I know I don't make much sense really, and I am just really emotional. I have such an empty space right now. I just want her home!