breastfeeding woes - Page 2

[justKate]

Originally Posted by Phoenix~Mama 

Don't beat yourself up.  Do not feel like a failure.  You HAVE BEEN KICKING ASS to pump and keep up! 

This won't be popular opinion... but I know I was there... and I was tired of everyone making me feel like a heathen, because I was slowly starting to pump less and less, because DS refused to nurse, and I just could not keep up.  I was going out of my mind from no sleep and anxiety of fitting in pumping while trying to care for two little ones.

DS went to full formula last week.  I battled depression and SERIOUS Mama guilt over it and kept pushing and pushing... until I just couldn't do it anymore.

So please.  Be gentle with yourself.  Not everyone is given the best circumstances to work with.  *hugs*  It's OKAY to do what is best for your sanity, and a more sane and happy Mama is ultimately the BEST for your baby.  *hugs*

ITA.

It's motherhood, not martyrdom.  We want to be perfect. We want the perfect birth, the problem-free BFing relationship, and it doesn't always happen.  That doesn't make us a failure.  If you've done your best and it isn't working for you, IT'S OKAY.  Let that guilt go. It has taken me 2 years to get beyond the guilt of my emergen-c-section and DD's NICU stay, so I know it's not easy.  But you have to make the decision that's right for your family, and whatever that is, be at peace with it. 

Phoenix Mama, let go of that guilt.  You did an awesome job for your little one.

[KateDavies45]

First off hugs, I know how much it utterly sucks to be separated from your lo, I was in the same position as you (dd was 34wks gestational age when she was born and quickly came off IV and onto room air). Just that you are trying to bf and providing milk is awesome, your lo will still get so many benefits from breastmilk even if it's coming out of a bottle. Just that she wants to latch on and actually suck AT ALL is awesome. My dd for about the first three days would just lay there with my nipple /OR the bottle nipple in her mouth and look at us as if to say "okay....now what the heck do I do?" It would have been funny if I wasn't so upset that she didn't seem to want to nurse at all. (she did eventually learn that to get the food you have to suck )

As far as her getting tired when you try to breastfeed her have you tried different positions. The LC at the NICU we were at was very supportive but the position they wanted me to put dd in was just NOT working for us. To put it bluntly, I had large breasts to start with and they were HUGE by the time I was trying to breastfeed and gravity seemed to be working against us to pull it out of her mouth even when I was holding it, having her so high up and tummy to tummy just wasn't feasible. We wound up with her sort of sitting/reclining on my lap (still with her head in the crook of my elbow) with her body turned slightly (towards me). Once we came home we tried the reclining position and she loved it. Basically where you lay back (not quite flat, more like on a couple of pillows, or leaned way back in a chair) and she lays on top of you. I don't know if that's helpful for your situation but it worked really well for us.

My dd was released after 2 1/2 weeks and we spent about another week with me trying to convince her to nurse and her latching an then lazily sucking for about 5min. then falling asleep and waking up wanting a bottle. Honestly, I think she realized she liked cuddling with me and then getting her food quickly. But after about a week I just couldn't stand to get up that many times at night and decided that if she wanted to eat at night we'd just lay down together. She was a little fussy for the first night but after that she got the idea that she could cuddle AND eat at the same time and we weaned to 100% breastfeeding about a week after that.

Whatever happens, try not to be to hard on yourself - It does get easier. :-)

[aslmere]

Thanks for the reply.

We actually gave up 2 months ago, when she was 2 months old. She absolutely refused to nurse.

Then at 3 months old she got RSV and was hospitalized again for 9 days. She was too weak to eat and they placed an ng tube, which a month later she still has. She is refusing to eat more than about 60% of her feeds orally. So apparently the problem goes deeper than just wanting to take the easy way out.

She has an older brother who is 7 and still fed with a g tube becuase he refuses to eat, the only difference is he did nurse for a year. So this is a familiar if not weary road for us.

[Smurfette2]

Originally Posted by aslmere 

Thanks for the reply.

We actually gave up 2 months ago, when she was 2 months old. She absolutely refused to nurse.

Then at 3 months old she got RSV and was hospitalized again for 9 days. She was too weak to eat and they placed an ng tube, which a month later she still has. She is refusing to eat more than about 60% of her feeds orally. So apparently the problem goes deeper than just wanting to take the easy way out.

She has an older brother who is 7 and still fed with a g tube becuase he refuses to eat, the only difference is he did nurse for a year. So this is a familiar if not weary road for us.

Baby and Brother are very lucky to have a mom that cares so much. Wow.

You've totally inspired me to not give in so quickly. Not just BF'ing but other

issues as well. G-tube, bottles, breasts or tubes... as long as your kids are

growing. :)

[justKate]

Quote:

Originally Posted by aslmere 

Thanks for the reply.

We actually gave up 2 months ago, when she was 2 months old. She absolutely refused to nurse.

Then at 3 months old she got RSV and was hospitalized again for 9 days. She was too weak to eat and they placed an ng tube, which a month later she still has. She is refusing to eat more than about 60% of her feeds orally. So apparently the problem goes deeper than just wanting to take the easy way out.

She has an older brother who is 7 and still fed with a g tube becuase he refuses to eat, the only difference is he did nurse for a year. So this is a familiar if not weary road for us.

 I'm sorry mama.   Your children are very lucky to have such a caring mama.  Have you visited the SN forum?  I found some comfort there but haven't been in a while.  I hope the future brings some comfort and healing for your family.

[SIXSIMMONS]

That was my philosophy, whatever it takes to get him home! .  We realized they are very pro breast milk but not breast feeding. I could NOT pump so DS got bottles of formula in the NICU; I was only allowed to put him to breast at every other feeding for 10 min! even tho I was there. I was so glad my 3yo was still nursing and kept me producing.  When I completely stopped producing for the pump (I never got more than 20mls from both sides) I went to hand expressing.  I did this every 1.5 -2 hrs.; I just got out as much as I could, which was usually only about 1oz per day!  When he came home I just let him nurse as often and as long as he liked and gradually switched from bottles to SNS.  An SNS may help her nurse longer. We use it for his daytime feedings and he just nurses at night because its only a few minutes and he's back asleep. 

http://www.medelabreastfeedingus.com/products/breastfeeding-devices/51/supplemental-nursing-system-sns