For those who co-sleep/slept with OLDER children

[bonamarq]

I currently still co-sleep with my 7 yo and have admittedly been very "lazy" about changing anything about our arrangement - she CAN get herself to sleep (often, if I cannot be home at bed time, dh cuts the routine short and she falls asleep on her own) But I LOVE hanging with her at that time, getting some rest and just thinking - I work FULL time and we are apart 9+ hours a day AND I am in grad school and feel this time is important for us....I start most evenings in my bed (if I haven't fallen too deeply asleep with dd) and then move to hers when she comes and gets me - anywhere from midnight to 5 am... The three of us are fine with this arrangment and I will gladly take her lead as to when to change this...just assuming she will gradually stop coming to get me....

So my question is...are there any folks out there who have a child who DID NOT willingly and on their own stop co-sleeping?  My issue is really not with my own situation but work related - my job involves working closely with families with children on the autism spectrum - there are lots of sleep issues there and I am expected by my superiors to 'help' the families and encourage them to get their kids sleeping on their own - this is all very family focused and driven by them and we never force them to do things they do not want to (how can you) But there is a a very strong bias against the co-sleeping with older children here - and many are in the camp that those on the spectrum resist change so much that they are "never going to do it on their own"  But I feel like a total fraud asking families to do what I myself do not want or wish to do - Of course if they are clearly not wanting to continue with the arrangment I feel fine about helping them make changes, but so often they seem to like it as much as I do with my own dd....

Really, will a teen - high functioning aspergers teen - still want to sleep with mom?

[lonegirl]

My son is 4.  He has no plans in not sleeping with us....lol.  The only way he sleeps in his own bed is when he falls asleep either on the couch or in the car and I put him there....then the moment he stirs he is up and in our bed again.  Sure there are times I really wish he would just fall asleep on his own, in his own bed....but mostly I love that he loves to snuggle with me.  Last night I overheard him talking to DH on the bed and he said "daddy, mommy is so much more comfy than you"

[VisionaryMom]

I slept in the room with someone pretty much my whole life. When I was little, I didn't have a permanent home and often had to bed-share wherever I was. When my mom & I moved, I often slept in the bed with her and then later with my sister. Even in college, when I returned home for the weekends, I slept in the bed with my sister or my mom, which DH told me much later that he thought was incredibly creepy.

I've never gotten comfortable sleeping alone. If I had a job that required overnight travel, I would panic. (If DH did, the kids would just sleep in my bed. ) Being alone at night is really bothersome to me, and I attribute it to never having to sleep alone as a child. I never learned to sleep by myself - and more damaging is that I never learned to be alone with my thoughts in the dark. 

That said, my 5YO (6 in January) still sleeps with us off and on. Lately I've been sleeping in his bed a good bit, but he'll come to our room as well. I am okay with this arrangement; DH is not so much. I tell myself that if I'd had a normal family and stability and love and all of those things that the sleep issue would work itself out. I don't know if that's true or if it's how I'm justifying that I really enjoy still co-sleeping with DC (3YO DD is in our bed 95% of the time) for many of the reasons you mentioned.