How do I *not* lay down with DD and fall asleep myself?

[Halfasianmomma]

DD is 29 months. We have coslept since her birth, at first with a side-carred crib and later with a futon on the floor and a twin mattress for me to sleep next to her. At this point, I have a queen bed pushed up against her twin bed. That arrangement is great for me. She generally sleeps in her bed all night and crawls over to find me in the early morning, or if she has a nightmare, she comes over sooner. We generally both sleep very well this way and I don't forsee that the arrangement will change anytime soon.

My issue is the bedtime routine. It takes 30-45 minutes depending on DD. It consists of this: snack, brushing teeth, kisses to grandma and grandpa, going upstairs to light the Twilight Turtle, reading 3 short stories, then lights out. What takes the most time is just laying there next to DD until she falls asleep. I started doing that when I nightweaned her and it has become a fixture. The problem is that I often fall asleep right with her, and now that I'm taking an online class, I need the evening to study.

Any suggestions on how to change this portion of our bedtime routine? DD seems to need to hold on to me tightly until she konks out.

[PatienceAndLove]

I used to have the same issue- and I also needed the evening to study!

I found that my DD slept very soundly when she first went to sleep, so I just set the alarm on my phone to go off about an hour after we laid down to sleep.  It worked well, and I found that the nap helped me have a bit more energy for studying.

[Peony]

I trained all my kiddos to go to sleep by the glow of my laptop.  Otherwise I fall asleep and am up all night, I have insomnia, a nap is not a good thing! I know some moms that use a iPod. 

[Halfasianmomma]

Thanks for the suggestions mamas...I'll give them a try.

Last night and the night before, instead of lying down next to her in her bed, I sat in my bed. DD asked me to rub her back and tummy, and eventually fell asleep. I imagine that the daycare workers rub their backs, since I've never done it before. It took longer than usual, but it worked! So now if I can just work on getting her to fall asleep without needing me super close by, I'd be golden!

[D_McG]

I left in intervals "I'll be back in a few minutes after I make a phone call" etc.  It worked pretty well.  Once they are at the age when they know enough to understand that I'm gone and I'll be back then I'm not too disturbed if they protest.  I know it's for a short time and so do they.  They adjust in time.    Then the intervals can get longer.  Or I would just keep leaving and coming back and they'd get bored of waiting.

[beadmama]

Originally Posted by D_McG 

I left in intervals "I'll be back in a few minutes after I make a phone call" etc.  It worked pretty well.  Once they are at the age when they know enough to understand that I'm gone and I'll be back then I'm not too disturbed if they protest.  I know it's for a short time and so do they.  They adjust in time.    Then the intervals can get longer.  Or I would just keep leaving and coming back and they'd get bored of waiting.

I started doing this 2 months or so ago and it worked! We were so shocked the first time we did it and I found her asleep after 5 minutes. There have been a few nights where it has not worked but most of the time it does. I also had a problem with falling asleep while waiting for her to sleep and now I get to spend that time with Dh. She is 33 months if that matters. Now I generally don't need to go in every 5 minutes I just keep an ear out for her and if she calls me I go in but otherwise I just put her in bed give her a kiss goodnight and turn out the lights. What a wonderful surprise.

Now we are working night weaning.

[Katie T]

I get on the internet on my phone and am usually reading MDC lol. I check Facebook, the news, weather and it they are still not alseep I look through all the Craiglist adds lol.