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1st OB appt. NP said "gain no more than 10 pounds TOTAL"!

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 

Granted, I am overweight and my BMI is close to being "obese" though my body composition dictates it to be less than that. But, I was shocked as my NP told me to gain no more than 10 pounds, my entire pregnancy. 


Doesn't baby, placenta, blood volume, etc., etc, account for more than 10 pounds???? 


I am feeling so awful as she made me feel like I'd be harming my baby if I didn't keep my weight in check. And truly, I just feel like a slob.

Feeling so hurt and angry and not sure if this is accurate or the NP's tactic for keeping myself out of the fridge. greensad.gif


I guess the worst part is that I am a really healthy eater and struggle with weight because of a slow metabolism. I'm not out eating cheeseburgers or snack on junk!


What do you think???

post #2 of 27

I think she is nuts. I think if you eat healthy and try and stay somewhat active you will be fine! I am overweight- started each of my pregnancies 20-40lbs over my ideal body weight. In my pregnancies I have gained about 22, 40 and 10lbs respectively. The only times I gained less would be because I was highly sick in my first trimester and lost weight. 

post #3 of 27

I think she's nuts too.  Even if you're overweight, I think the recommendation is still 15-25 lbs. weight gain in a healthy pregnancy.  25-35 in normal weight people and 35-40 in very thin, or something close to that.  I've always gained between 30-35 and eat whatever I want (mostly healthy, but I eat when I'm hungry, somedays that a lot and other days not so much).  That's just what my body puts on naturally.  I think most people find that they can't totally control how much weight they gain.  You have some control over it, but in the end, your body will gain what it needs to to make a healthy baby.

post #4 of 27

shes nuts. that sounds like the rec my grandma got when she was pregnant in the 50s, her doctor actually told her not to gain more than 10lbs and made it seem like the end of the world too. i say eat until satisfied. mostly healthy foods but feel free to splurge too.

post #5 of 27

Your body knows more about what it needs than your doctor does.


Most doctors (not all, but most) have a very strictly defined view of weight and a healthy body. They seem to think that the BMI and the Canadian/American Food Guide are the answer to everything. Well, screw that! :) My highest "healthy" body weight based on the BMI is 155 lbs. Once, a few years ago, when I was bedridden after a car accident for 6 months and had my jaw wired shut, I droppd down to 175 lbs, and I looked like a skeleton. And that was not just fat loss, but muscle loss as well. So losing another 20 lbs just to BARELY reach my healty weight? No, thanks. My frame simply will not accept that.


My doctor wanted me to lose weight before I got pregnant. I agree, I need to lose weight, and I tried and failed and got pregnant anyways. Now, weight loss is on hold until after the baby is here. Period. Thankfully, my doc has not suggested I lose weight or restrict weight gain now. My personal goal is to try to keep my weight gain to about 25 lbs, but if it ends up being more than that, I'm not going to stress. I'm going to exercise and eat what my body tells me it needs. Breastfeeding and babywearing once the baby is here should help me lose a lot of it anyways :)

post #6 of 27

I vote she's nuts! I am overweight, but my doctor doesn't bring up my weight at all.I dont even get weighed at appointments unless its necissary for my bloodwork, and I like it that way. He just mentions that its important to eat healthy and stay active. After our little baby is here, I hope to lose 50 lbs, but that's after the baby.


Im sorry that your doctor has brought up your weight and has given you ridiculous ordered.. she should have told you to be healthy and put your baby first.. ugh!

post #7 of 27

I think it is a big hunk o'crap.  They told me that during my first pregnancy and I was so upset if I gained weight that I made myself sick over it.  I am curious what my OB will say- today is my first appointment.  I think they just want to make sure you don't go crazy and gain 120 lbs.  I have found through my pregnancies that I gain what I gain, no matter how well or not-so-well I eat.  My highest weight gain was 32 lbs. Don't let them scare you into not eating!  I just try to eat a healthy diet and not worry so much about the weight gain. 

post #8 of 27


Originally Posted by scheelimama View Post

You have some control over it, but in the end, your body will gain what it needs to to make a healthy baby.


And I agree, as long as you're eating a healthy diet, I really wouldn't worry much about weight gain.

post #9 of 27

I lost 14lbs from my pre pregnancy weight from breast feeding my boys .... of course I've gained it all back now and I started this pregnancy with the exact same weight as a I did my last.  I do think I need to eat better and exercise more ... I was secretly hoping that morning sickness would help! lol Still no barfing yet!


Something to keep in mind.... the baby is consuming a lot of calories just to make him/her so if you eat right, you could lose fat and gain baby!

post #10 of 27

I don't see how a ten-pound limit is even really possible without your body actually *losing* weight in the process (which isn't desireable, in my book).  I actually did end my pregnancy only up 9 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight, but it was only because I lost 10+ pounds during my super-sick first trimester.  I wasn't able to eat very much toward the end, either, as I got full and sick-feeling again after only small amounts.  It was NOT ideal nutrition or anything near it, and I would not recommend it to anyone who can help it.

post #11 of 27


If you're uncomfortable with the recommendation, as I would be (seems a bit extreme to me too--the recommended weight gain for someone who is overweight is obviously less than for someone who isn't, but 10 pounds could be a whole baby, not to mention fluid, etc.) you might want to think about switching care providers and getting another opinion? If you do gain more than that, it sounds like this practice might give you a hard time and be more likely to induce you early for something silly like "big baby." 

post #12 of 27
Thread Starter 

thank you, everyone!!! I am really considering finding another provider. I'm worried that this isn't just the nurse practitioner's philosophy, but the practices' as well. I think ideally I'd like a midwife as this will most likely be our last baby and my aim is to have as little intervention as possible anyway. My doc is great but there are now 5 total physicians in the office and anyone of them could deliver me. Besides, I just think it's ridiculous to give a woman an amount she needs to gain~ and 10 pounds is simply unattainable IMO, not when you consider the baby will weigh a full 3/4 of the weight I would gain! It's just stupid and I want to complain... in fact, I think I'm going to... and contact a different provider (with midwife on staff for a consultation). It's just really too bad because my doctor is so wonderful, and a champion in our community for women who want natural birth. I think if he knew this nurse said this he'd scoff... but can't be sure. I may just call and try to speak with him and ask his opinion. Not sure I can get him in the phone though.

post #13 of 27

Like PP, if you are comfortable with this Dr, find someone else.  I find that midwives tend to be much more compassionate & realistic.  As for weight gain, I am 50 lbs overweight (and am petite).  My midwife said no more than 25, but maybe more like 15.  To figure out calories to eat during pregnancy, she said to take the calories to maintain your ideal weight & add 300.  Make sure you get at least 60 grams of protein a day & eat a healthy variety.


With my last pregnancy I started out 30 lbs overweight, gained about 25 lbs & lost all of the baby weight in under 3 mths.


Your Dr should be more compassionate, but the reality is that overweight women can end up with large babies and health probs like gestational diabetes (which can also lead to a big baby).


If you feel like it, tell your Dr your concerns & give them a chance to respond.  If you don't like the response, you can move on.  Try to ask around & find a midwife or a Dr with more compassion.

post #14 of 27

I don't think 10 lbs is reasonable, and I don't think you should stress yourself trying to stick to that.


If you are bordering obese, the recommendations are 15-20. Sure YOU may be overweight, but your baby still needs the nutrients.



I gained about 70 with my first pregnancy and my doctor didn't care. I was slender to begin with, but quitting smoking packed on the lbs in the first few months. I was monitored and healthy. My second one I gained 80 and my doctor was HORRIBLE about it. Mean. I used to hear the midwives laughing about me outside the room and the I would leave there in tears almost every time I went because of the comments about my weight. I was a size 2 before that pregnancy, and again quitting smoking packed on about 40 lbs in the first 5 months.


I didn't lose the weight after my youngest and as a result I am starting this pregnancy 30lbs higher than my ideal weight (I've gained 4 lbs already and am at 154 and 5'3)


My midwife didn't say a word about my weight yet, though I am definitely in the overweight category.


Look, I get that you have to be careful with weight gain. I had VERY large babies (8.12 and 10.12). It was MUCH harder to lose the second time.


But instead of concentrating on weight and numbers, what I'm doing (aside from my new french fry addiction) is trying to focus on eating well - whole, local foods. And getting activity. My first time, when I gained 70lbs? I walked 5 miles a day at least 4 days a week until the last month. I was huge, but I wasn't really unfit.


I wouldn't recommend ignoring weight totally, but it shouldn't be your focus OR your doctors focus. It should be on maintaining healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle.


Oh, and I would consider seeing a different doctor - just from my traumatic experience with a weight concerned doctor.

post #15 of 27

I think that it should be up to the mother how much she decides to gain. I am the same as you weight wise and have been for my past 2 pregnancies. I gained 25 Ibs with each boy and lost all of it before I got pregnant again. I did not have diabetes or difficult labors or any other weight related issues.

This time I am trying to only gain a max of 15 Ibs. That said, I think that the baby/blood/placenta can take the calories out of "fat storage" if the mom eats enough vitamines and protein.

My 89 y.o. friend (who weighs about 95 Ibs) had her daughter during Second World War and she gaind 2 Ibs her entire pregnancy. Her daughter was rather skinny when she was born (she got one orange during the pregnancy and gave it to her toddler niece) but she nursed her (and the neigbor baby) for one year and her daughter grew up to be university professor with an undestroyable health (she has been smoking for the last 45 years of her life).

I think that whatever you do, your baby will be fine. It just depends on you how much you are willing/able to restrict yourself during this pregnancy. And I would tell this NP that her way of telling you, hurt you.

post #16 of 27

DDCC. I am so sorry you had to deal with this. I got fat-shamed by an insensitive NP too, for having gained 'too much' weight relative to the point in my pregnancy that I was at. It was really upsetting! As pregnant women, we're following what our bodies need, and we know what they need better than somebody who's not in our skin. These practitioners should be ashamed of themselves, particularly given how many women have food issues of some sort and could get REALLY messed up by that sort of comment.


I do have a friend who was overweight before she got pregnant, and she said after she had her son she weighed less than she had pre-pregnancy. So I suppose it's not unheard of, but if you are eating the food you need and you gain more than your practitioner said to, then clearly that's the amount you were supposed to gain.

post #17 of 27

I was just told yesterday not to gain more than 10 lbs by my midwife.  But I put on 10 right before we got pregnant because of all of the cycling meds.  The midwife is pretty much assuming that once I'm off all the extra hormones (no more shots!!!) then things will stabilize again.  I only gained a net of 6 lbs with DS and he was roaringly healthy.  But I had a lot extra to start with, and I lost about 12 the first few months when all food was gross.  I gained that back plus 6 lbs gradually starting about mid-way through the 2nd trimester and lost all of it within a week or two of giving birth(including the extra 12 I'd lost early on).  I didn't try to do anytihng in particular.  My OB wasn't worried and my body was doing what it needed to do. 


This time, I weigh more because of the meds, and I don't have the strong food aversions like with DS, so I haven't lost anything.  But I'm also not really gaining yet. 


I wasn't feeling shamed by the midwife.  I was actually relieved that she wasn't going to yell later if I didn't put on more than that.  I'm eating healthy and going to start up the eliptical again, so I ought to be able to keep things pretty moderate and just trust my body to do the rest.  And one of these days I can quit sticking needles into my poor hips!  Then we'll just let nature do what it's supposed to do.


I didn't interpret my max wieght suggestion as command.  More of a caution to just keep an eye on things. 


However, if I were getting the guilt trip at each visit...I sure wouldn't be sticking with that clinic!




post #18 of 27

I gained about 50 with each of my previous pregnancies.  I just stopped looking at the scales when I'd go for a prenatal visit and the last one I didn't even step on one that much because I didn't see a MW that much.  (I'm not recommending that.)  I started out this pg a size 9.  I am 5'8" and if I am 145, then I am a beanpole although I am a size 7/8 at that weight, and that's the median weight supposedly for my height.  When I got below 150 once, my husband said I was too thin.  I was between 160-165 when I got pregnant.  I have no clue what I weigh now, but I still fit into my jeans... However trying on other non-maternity jeans a couple of weeks ago sucked.


My mother (not my biological mother) always harped on me because she gained 12 with one child and maybe 17 with the other.  But it was the late 60's/mid 70's and she was (and is) a chain smoker.  I have to politely remind her that I do not share her genes and therefore the idea that I should gain what she gained is absurd.  Plus, my babies all over 8 1/2 Lbs and her babies were barely 7Lbs.  I also BF all of mine and I think she might have tried with DS1 but didn't last long at all.  Heck, I can't blame her.  The first birth my dad saw was not his own children, but my first... Don't ask... And he had no clue why I was "breathing weird."  Basically, mom did the best she could.  bow2.gif


If you love the MD, try to work it out with him.  If not, find someone else for a provider.  To have someone harp on your weight starting now is just frustrating.  I know the hard part is finding providers that are pro-natural birth.  I pray my MW won't be like that.  I don't see her until Jan 13th, so I have no clue until then.


Hugs, keep your chin up and tell whoever off that you need to tell off.  It's your body and your baby.stillheart.gif

post #19 of 27

I gained 90lbs in my first pregnancy :( which I haven't lost all of) and am really trying to only gain 15lbs this pregnancy. (Disclaimer, I quit smoking, had just lost 50lb which I easily put back on, and had pre-e swelling, I lost 30lbs in the first week after the swelling and baby were off me)


For me, I can't "just eat healthy" I have to be micro managing my diet, or I eat like it's my last meal, every meal. I don't have the full switch in my head. I will literally eat until I get sick.


My goals are 0 lbs in the first trimester. Which I have *almost* reached! I am 9w and I think I have gained 2 lbs. Then about 1lb a week until birth. I think my weight gain set me up for pre-e and a long recovery.


But yeah. 10lbs is ludicrous.

post #20 of 27

I just wanted to chime in - i weighed 245 when i got pregnant (im 5'6")  and was 297 when i delivered (and i pushed that baby out while leaning over a STURDY chair!)   While this isnt exactly something id recommend to all eat.gif  buuuut,  I wanted to say i had NO health problems at all - no HBP, no GD - i delivered at home with my midwife, as planned.  (baby was 8'8") 

so eat, birth, and be merry!

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