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Would anyone like to be pampered or surprised or a baby shower before baby.....but not getting it? - Page 2

post #21 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by allisonrose View Post

The only thing I want is more consideration from my hubby. He watches me lift and carry around our 28 lb toddler without trying to see if he could carry him instead... I complain about how tired I am yet hubby shows little sympathy and complains himself about being tired...


I hear ya sister!  I finally called my husband out on it the other day.  I basically told him he was doing a suck job of supporting me through out this pregnancy.  With the first he did great.  With this one not so much. 

 

Since I have few pregnancy symptoms like moodiness or morning sickness, I think he forgets that I'm pregnant.  I'm still terribly uncomfortable, grumpy from lack of sleep, and TIRED!  When I mention how tired I am and he follows with complaining how tired HE is I want to slap him angry.gif. I work AND my body is gestating so my tired trumps your tired buddy.
 

post #22 of 32
Thread Starter 

Well everyone....has anyone had anyone plan something last minute? Or a spa day or anything?

 

Nothing for me. Found out my extreme exhaustion is caused from really low hemoglobin (yeah.....greensad.gif)

 

But no mention of me or baby or anythinggreensad.gif

post #23 of 32

I wanted a shower.  greensad.gif  My Husband left me, his family (except my Father-in-Law) disowned me, all our mutual friends chose him, my own family lives far, far away, and for some reason, my co-workers didn't give me a shower- though they gave my other co-worker a baby shower last year.  My other son is 15 years old- I don't have anything left from his babyhood to pass down to this baby, I'm not in any financial situation to throw my own baby shower, and I don't even have anyone as a labor coach, so I really am going this all alone.  I hate to complain, but is it really too much to ask to be babies just a little bit?!  Just a little?

post #24 of 32

That just sucks!  I would like to kick your coworkers butts and I won't even post what I'd like seen done to your lousy husband.  Have you gotten hand me downs?  I was just thinking I'd send you my extra moby and then I remembered I donated it to a daycare so the lone tiny baby wouldn't be stuck in a crib all day.  We're both having boys and my last one was a boy so I'm just reusing stuff but if you could tell us if there was anything you really had wanted that you didn't get maybe somebody has it.  I bet I have too much of something and if I have anything that you need I would love to send you a care package.  No luck in finding a doula in training who would take you on for free?  I just can't comprehend that, if anyone deserves a doula donating their time you do.  

post #25 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyMama View Post

That just sucks!  I would like to kick your coworkers butts and I won't even post what I'd like seen done to your lousy husband.  Have you gotten hand me downs?  I was just thinking I'd send you my extra moby and then I remembered I donated it to a daycare so the lone tiny baby wouldn't be stuck in a crib all day.  We're both having boys and my last one was a boy so I'm just reusing stuff but if you could tell us if there was anything you really had wanted that you didn't get maybe somebody has it.  I bet I have too much of something and if I have anything that you need I would love to send you a care package.  No luck in finding a doula in training who would take you on for free?  I just can't comprehend that, if anyone deserves a doula donating their time you do.  


My sister just had twin girls, so I'm set for clothes up to the 6 month size, but after that... everything she owns is pink.  I almost had a doula in training, but she lost interest, now it's kinda late- I'm 37 weeks.

 

Didn't mean to hijack the thread- sometimes you just have to let it all out, and finally, somebody else was complaining about not getting a baby shower as well, made me feel, well, not so ungrateful as I've been feeling, you know?

post #26 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by kblackstone444 View Post

I wanted a shower.  greensad.gif  My Husband left me, his family (except my Father-in-Law) disowned me, all our mutual friends chose him, my own family lives far, far away, and for some reason, my co-workers didn't give me a shower- though they gave my other co-worker a baby shower last year.  My other son is 15 years old- I don't have anything left from his babyhood to pass down to this baby, I'm not in any financial situation to throw my own baby shower, and I don't even have anyone as a labor coach, so I really am going this all alone.  I hate to complain, but is it really too much to ask to be babies just a little bit?!  Just a little?


that's awful. i'm so sorry. i was completely on my own when i had my first.. except i DID have family. i can't believe all your mutual friends are so unsupportive. and i wish your coworkers did something for you, just to be nice. you deserve so much more than you've been given.

post #27 of 32

If I remember correctly you are having your baby at one of the nicer hospitals.  You might try contacting the closest county hospital to where you're going and see if they have a group of volunteer doulas and explain your situation.  I'm not planning on giving birth at the hospital but I was in a car accident recently and spent the day in OB at the county hospital and they had fliers for a volunteer group you could call when you were going in to have your baby and they would send someone out for free.  I'm sure they would not provide that much support against hospital policy but it would be someone there to be nice to you and be on your team.

post #28 of 32

Since you don't drive do you have good baby carrier?  Keep in touch and let me know your babies size.  Mine are born in opposite seasons and I'm in TX so there may be bigger clothes that will never be weather appropriate.

post #29 of 32

I am with you, I am in need of some pampering myself but I doubt I will get it anytime soon.  DH took off work for over 2 weeks at the end of the year because he had to use his vacay time or lose it.  I thought it would be a nice two weeks of having him around to help out with DD and get a little rest but noooooo-----all I heard was that it was HIS vacation and he wanted to relax.  We did get some stuff done for the baby's room and spent some nice family time together but I was glad to have him go back to work today!  I felt like it was more work having him around every day because I constantly had to clean up after him and DD, plus all my other chores and shopping, wrapping, baking, decorating, etc for the holidays.  Now that he's back to work I feel like I can breathe a little. 

 

I know I'm not getting a shower, especially this late in the game.  But some time off to rest would be a real treat - DH thinks watching DD while I go to the grocery store should be enough time away for me.  eyesroll.gif  He did just mention over the weekend that I should set up a girls night soon so I can get out of the house before baby is born - then he followed it up with telling me that I should do that because HE is going to hang out with the guys this weekend so I should find some time to hang out with the girls.  Well it was nice of him to say that but then I realized he has ulterior motives. 

 

I just wish men could somehow feel for ONE day what we go through being pregnant - the exhaustion, the aches and pains, the heartburn, the feeling of being kicked on the inside, the crazy hormones and mood swings, the feeling of being completely overwhelmed by life and kids and husbands and everything else that we have to deal with!  Maybe then they would have a little empathy and give us some time offdizzy.gif

post #30 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Simonsez2u View Post

 

Since I have few pregnancy symptoms like moodiness or morning sickness, I think he forgets that I'm pregnant.  I'm still terribly uncomfortable, grumpy from lack of sleep, and TIRED!  When I mention how tired I am and he follows with complaining how tired HE is I want to slap him angry.gif. I work AND my body is gestating so my tired trumps your tired buddy.
 


My DH does this too.  Blah.
 

post #31 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by annablue View Post

This is my first and I didn't get a shower, either. It's not that I feel entitled to gifts, I just wish people cared. I walk around at church with my big belly and nobody says a word. Other than my parents, my relatives and in-laws show little to no interest in the pregnancy. I just want someone to ask how I'm doing, or how I decorated the nursery, or if there's anything I need.


I understand what that feels like. With my first, I had the exact same thing. Now that I'm on my second baby, I'm dealing with it all over again. Because there were already kids on both DH and my side, we got hand-me-downs from everyone in boxes, and the baby shower got bypassed completely. Even though my second is supposed to be the first boy on both sides, I'm still not getting a shower... Guess the baby is going to be wearing pink for a while. wink1.gif

 

It's not selfish to want a baby shower. I too would love to be pampered-- maybe have a day away from DD... Or even a few hours... I can dream.

post #32 of 32

kblackstone444 - I don't think you should consider yourself out of time to find a student doula to be with you. A student doula might really enjoy the instant gratification of signing on with a mom so late actually! I hope you decide to make a few calls and see if you can find someone. Perhaps posting in your tribal area might get you a lead or two....

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by NaturalMama311 View Post

 

I just wish men could somehow feel for ONE day what we go through being pregnant - the exhaustion, the aches and pains, the heartburn, the feeling of being kicked on the inside, the crazy hormones and mood swings, the feeling of being completely overwhelmed by life and kids and husbands and everything else that we have to deal with!  Maybe then they would have a little empathy and give us some time offdizzy.gif



I wish I could get my hands on a pregnancy suit so that my hubby could get the experience a tiny bit! Not pregnant, getting up off the floor or couch isn't a big deal but it's a whole other story pregnant...

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