He's getting what he wanted...

[haydn'smommy]

so why does he sound sad about it and why does that bother me? I called STBX today after I left my attorney's office and told him that the papers are on their way and that there were no changes and that all he has to do is make the appointment with his attorney and sign them. I asked him to please not drag his feet on this and get it signed in a timely fashion so that I can go to court and we can be divorced. His reply was this little quiet sad, "Oh, okay, I will." WTF? He is the one who wanted this divorce. He started this. He told me that he didn't love me anymore. So, why in the world is he upset by it. I actually asked him what was wrong and he said, "I just don't know what to say."

I have come to terms with this and think it's the best thing to ever happen to me, so why does it bother me that he seems sad about the divorce? Why do I still care about him being okay? When will I stop caring?

[GranoLLLy-girl]

I'm sorry you are going through this.  My ex does the same thing...acts like he's all down about Christmas--then this morning, shows up and gets all the spare keys to the cars....???

Whatever. 
I tell myself DO NOT LOOK backwards--it's over and it's over.  That's the best I can do.  But I completely get it.

I'm in the same boat--HE was the one who wanted out.  Once in a while he's nice--then back to the same old crap.  Here's hoping 2011 will be one step up.

[MissLotus]

I have come to terms with this and think it's the best thing to ever happen to me, so why does it bother me that he seems sad about the divorce?

The bolded part is probably why!  No doubt you're supposed to be crushed that you're losing him. 

[MissLotus]

I meant to say that's probably why HE's acting "sad" about it, not you (couldn't edit my post for some reason).

[sparklefairy]

He may actually be genuinely sad. Relationships ending = mixed emotions. There are still little things about my marriage ending that make me sad. I don't confide things like that in my ex anymore, and he does in me sometimes, I think because he doesn't have anyone else.

How not to feel badly for him? Well, I think it's okay if you do. It's hard to turn that off completely and maybe not a good idea to do so. Feeling pity for his sadness doesn't have to change the way that you behave toward him or mean that you don't focus on your own best interests or try to fix anything for him.