A little background- after 11.5 years of marriage, each one more miserable than the last, I finally packed up the kids and moved out 2 weeks ago. It's been an amazing 2 weeks and it makes me so excited for the rest of my life!
I've been working really hard to make sense of what has happened to me: how and why I let it happen, who I became because of it and finding who I really am. I've been talking to a counselor nearly everyday (often just an email exchange) and that helps a lot. I have been pretty classically emotionally abused for most of my marriage. I realized (when I was reading another thread) that our totally dysfunctional sex life is part of the abuse not a separate issue. I described it to a friend in an email last night and spent an hour sobbing:
"I've been married 141 months and we've had sex less than half of them. Almost always he keeps his eyes
closed, chastises me for making any sounds, and doesn't respond to requests."
That's it in a nutshell. I can't seem to get it straight in my head how the two pieces fit together, or why, or how I'm suppose to deal with that too. Any insight is appreciated.