Tips for coping (psychologically/emotionally) with a very restricted diet?

[bodhitree]

I've been doing okay for the most part since we started eliminating foods and trying to figure out what DD is reacting to. We're currently off of dairy, gluten, all soy except small amounts of tamari, citrus, and chocolate. We're also long-time vegetarians, so that further restricts what I'm willing/able to eat. And we've never eaten many eggs--I mostly just don't like them, but I'd be willing to try eating them in order to expand our options, but I don't want to introduce such a highly allergenic food while we're trying to figure out what we're already eating that is a problem.

So in short, my diet is very restricted at the moment. I'm happy with the changes I've seen in DD's skin, sleep, and behavior, and I'm happy that going through all of this now is likely to have a beneficial impact on her/my health for a long time to come. But....I've been feeling a bit sad and deprived that there are all these foods that I love that I can't eat right now. I used to love doing the grocery shopping, but now I just wander through the store and notice all the things that I want that I can't have. I'm pretty sure I'm doing the right thing in not eating them or feeding them to DD, and I'm not about to wean her just so I can eat pizza or whatever, so there isn't anything concrete to be done about it, as far as I can see. I just need a find a way to adjust my thoughts and feelings about it as we go through this process, if that makes sense. Does anyone have any tips?

[DevaMajka]

At least you're seeing improvements, that helps.
I remember feeling that way grocery shopping- just noticin all this stuff that I couldn't have. That's a major bummer.

Hmmm...Did you know that you can make caramel with just sugar and water? That might help
You could imagine what it would be like to also be low sals, then be happy that you're not. Hmmm...probably not helpful...

I'd say add eggs, and try to find something you can eat that you really like and makes you happy (caramel?). And make sure you get lots of fats- when I was major ED'ing, at least I didn't feel hungry with lots of fats.

OT-ish, but is there a reason that you are keeping in small amounts of soy? I'd thought it was an all or nothing type thing, except for soy lecithin sometimes.

[Shanny2032]

Can someone else go to the grocery store for you?  It was never an option for me as a SMBC but maybe that might help if you could send partner/sister or someone you trust to the grocery store with a very specific list?  What are the other times you feel frustrated by it?  I remember feeling hungry ALL THE TIME and therefore irritable all the time and that was so frustrating.  It helped a lot to keep stuff ready to eat - like washed and cut up fruits and veggies.  I was better about it sometimes than others of course.

Also, just know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  When DD was 17 months we did IGG and IGE allergy testing and that answered a lot of questions for me.  Now at 2 she nurses infrequently enough that what I eat doesn't make much difference (I still avoid the biggies though).

As far as eggs - here is what happened for us.  We eliminated dairy and soy completely.  She was much improved but I just kept feeling like something was missing.  When I finally eliminated eggs that was the missing piece of the puzzle.  Fast forward about a year later and the allergy test showed that her most sensitive responses were to egg yolks and just slightly less - egg whites.  I think that until you feel like you have all the pieces of your puzzle figured out I would avoid a high allergen like eggs.  That is just my personal experience.

Good luck I know that it is so hard but I wouldn't change a thing!

[bodhitree]

Originally Posted by DevaMajka 

AAt least you're seeing improvements, that helps. I remember feeling that way grocery shopping- just noticin all this stuff that I couldn't have. That's a major bummer. Hmmm...Did you know that you can make caramel with just sugar and water? That might help :lol You could imagine what it would be like to also be low sals, then be happy that you're not. Hmmm...probably not helpful... I'd say add eggs, and try to find something you can eat that you really like and makes you happy (caramel?). And make sure you get lots of fats- when I was major ED'ing, at least I didn't feel hungry with lots of fats. OT-ish, but is there a reason that you are keeping in small amounts of soy? I'd thought it was an all or nothing type thing, except for soy lecithin sometimes.

Actually, even thinking about sals makes me terrified that eventually I'm going to figure out they're a problem and then we'll REALLY have nothing to eat.   I did figure out that I can modify a favorite family recipe from my childhood to make it work for me--peanut butter rice krispie treats, yum! So that does help me feel better. And yeah, getting lots of fats does help me. I'm not a low-fat kind of girl under normal circumstances, and I can get away with it because we eat a very healthful diet overall, so I've been enjoying the nut butters and coconut oil a lot.

As for soy, the major reason we're still using tamari is that I haven't yet figured out how to live without it. A lot of what we eat is Asian cuisine, both because we like it and because it's very simple to make it work with what we can eat. I did just learn of the existence of coconut aminos, so I will give that a try once I can get my hands on some. We just took out all other soy a couple of weeks ago, so this whole thing is totally a work in progress that I'm figuring out bit by bit.
 

Originally Posted by Shanny2032 

Can someone else go to the grocery store for you?  It was never an option for me as a SMBC but maybe that might help if you could send partner/sister or someone you trust to the grocery store with a very specific list?  What are the other times you feel frustrated by it?  I remember feeling hungry ALL THE TIME and therefore irritable all the time and that was so frustrating.  It helped a lot to keep stuff ready to eat - like washed and cut up fruits and veggies.  I was better about it sometimes than others of course.

Also, just know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  When DD was 17 months we did IGG and IGE allergy testing and that answered a lot of questions for me.  Now at 2 she nurses infrequently enough that what I eat doesn't make much difference (I still avoid the biggies though).

As far as eggs - here is what happened for us.  We eliminated dairy and soy completely.  She was much improved but I just kept feeling like something was missing.  When I finally eliminated eggs that was the missing piece of the puzzle.  Fast forward about a year later and the allergy test showed that her most sensitive responses were to egg yolks and just slightly less - egg whites.  I think that until you feel like you have all the pieces of your puzzle figured out I would avoid a high allergen like eggs.  That is just my personal experience.

Good luck I know that it is so hard but I wouldn't change a thing!

I so wish that someone else could go to the store. That's a really great idea. I might try sending DH, but honestly, when he does the shopping he spends at least $50 more than I would spend, so then my grocery budget gets shot all to hell. We don't have any local family or anything and no friends close enough that I could ask. We have an appt in February with a doc who apparently is happy to do all kinds of testing, so hopefully that will help. Thanks for sharing your experience with eggs. That's exactly why I haven't started eating them more. We do have them in the store-bought GF bread, but we don't eat that very often at all. I need to just get the courage to try baking my own vegan GF bread. I have a recipe, but I haven't had good luck so far with GF vegan baking, so I've been reluctant to even try.

[YasaiMuraLife]

It is hard to cut foods out of your diet, especially well loved foods.  Until you develop new ways of eating, you just keep missing the old.  So, I would spend some time trying to develop a few new recipe favorites.  Then you have something to look forward to in the grocery store or when planning meals.

With the tamari - there is a chickpea miso (no soy at all) that I've been using lately.  I don't actually like the miso soup that it makes, but it is delicious used as a savory taste with rice, veggies, or in potpies.  I purchased the Coconut Amines and it was ok.  My DD (with a soy allergy) was fine with the taste, but I kept thinking I really needed to add in some tamari.

I don't know whether your family drinks green smoothies, but that has become an enjoyable part of our day.  Today's smoothie was banana, frozen cherries, almond milk, flax oil, and collards.  It has been fun figuring out what fruit/green combos are tastiest.  Healthy and super tasty.

(Just to make you feel a little better about your diet - we are vegan and one of my DS's allergies is to onion & garlic.  Have you ever seen a veg recipe that didn't start with "chop up an onion?"  And the joy of trying to make something taste good without either onions & garlic or soy - well, we go through lots of mushrooms over here!)

[kjbrown92]

What are you missing that you had before?

My recipe for sandwich bread has no gluten, dairy, soy, corn, citrus, chocolate, or egg. I can send it to you if you want it. Have you looked up in the Resources at the top of the page? There are links to recipe threads there. Lots of fat and protein. You can still make lots of delicious things.

We make zucchini fritters that are chickpea flour, shredded zucchini, a little onion if you want, water, and cumin (I may be missing something). Fry them in olive oil. We like them alone or dipped in spaghetti sauce. You can do broccoli or another vegetable instead to vary those.

Considering our restrictions (which are more), I've made a concerted effort to duplicate things that I miss that are now safe. I've made Chex Party Mix (only using rice chex and peanuts, and then duplicating the taste of worcestershire sauce). Even the unrestricted DH likes it to munch on. We make taffy, waffles, banana bread, rolls, sandwich bread, tortillas, marshmallows, etc. I use the Namaste pizza crust as a bread and as a pizza crust (tomato sauce and pine nut ricotta or Rice Vegan Mozzarella with veggies, olives, etc.). We make sweet potato fries and regular fries. I've made ice cream with coconut milk. I make macaroni & cheese with the Rice Vegan cheddar.

I make coconut milk yogurt and make it into salad dressing, frosting, use it in cream of mushroom soup, etc. It's very versatile.

We have the chickpea miso. We also use the Coconut Aminos for stir fries and such. I think it tastes just like soy sauce. I still love to shop. I see something I can have and I get all excited. I've tried new veggies and fruits. I watch the Cooking Channel and say "how can I make that safe? I now have both of Julia Child's French Cooking books and I'm making safe versions of a lot of the recipes. But if you just started coming here, then you don't know that I'm really Pollyanna. For me, I think look how much better my kids (and I) are. That's worth all the aggravation. And I found out that I actually like to cook (I've told this story before but the first song DH wrote for me was "Fishsticks Five Nights a Week" so that's where I came from). Focus on the good. And if there's anything that you want to figure out for a recipe, just ask. Someone might have already made it and save you the experimenting.

And before looking for more suspects, I'd definitely take out all of the other suspects (like the Tamari, even though I don't know what that is).

[letileon]

At least you can eat Peanut Butter! That is the saddest part of my day, when I look over at the PB jar and reminisce. I've eliminated dairy, soy, eggs, peanuts and tree nuts....I was allowing myself a little wheat or corn now and then, not much, but DS symptoms are not completely gone so I've eliminated both of those now too. My only happiness is allergy free chocolate....but it may be a problem too....it can be depressing. Just remember it won't last forever and it's probably better for your health that you AREN'T eating pizza (or at least that's what I tell myself)!

[bodhitree]

Originally Posted by letileon 

At least you can eat Peanut Butter! That is the saddest part of my day, when I look over at the PB jar and reminisce. I've eliminated dairy, soy, eggs, peanuts and tree nuts....I was allowing myself a little wheat or corn now and then, not much, but DS symptoms are not completely gone so I've eliminated both of those now too. My only happiness is allergy free chocolate....but it may be a problem too....it can be depressing. Just remember it won't last forever and it's probably better for your health that you AREN'T eating pizza (or at least that's what I tell myself)!

Actually, we are currently subbing almond butter for peanut butter to see what happens, and we may end up subbing sunflower butter eventually. I'm jealous that you get chocolate!
 

Originally Posted by YasaiMuraLife 

It is hard to cut foods out of your diet, especially well loved foods.  Until you develop new ways of eating, you just keep missing the old.  So, I would spend some time trying to develop a few new recipe favorites.  Then you have something to look forward to in the grocery store or when planning meals.

With the tamari - there is a chickpea miso (no soy at all) that I've been using lately.  I don't actually like the miso soup that it makes, but it is delicious used as a savory taste with rice, veggies, or in potpies.  I purchased the Coconut Amines and it was ok.  My DD (with a soy allergy) was fine with the taste, but I kept thinking I really needed to add in some tamari.

I don't know whether your family drinks green smoothies, but that has become an enjoyable part of our day.  Today's smoothie was banana, frozen cherries, almond milk, flax oil, and collards.  It has been fun figuring out what fruit/green combos are tastiest.  Healthy and super tasty.

(Just to make you feel a little better about your diet - we are vegan and one of my DS's allergies is to onion & garlic.  Have you ever seen a veg recipe that didn't start with "chop up an onion?"  And the joy of trying to make something taste good without either onions & garlic or soy - well, we go through lots of mushrooms over here!)

Thanks for the recommendation of the chickpea miso. I did find it at Whole Foods, so we'll be giving that a try, and we're trying the coconut aminos too. And yeah, thinking of not being able to have onions and garlic did make me feel a bit better. Sorry that you can't have those! I don't know how I'd cook without them.
 

Originally Posted by kjbrown92 

What are you missing that you had before?

You know, what I really miss is the experience of being able to shop/eat without the feelings of deprivation. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I kind of wish I didn't have to spend all this time thinking of substitutions and coming up with menus and especially snacks that are delicious without containing any of the suspect foods. The whole change in the experience of what it's like to shop, cook and eat is what I'm not enjoying, if you know what I mean. I'm sure I'll get over it.

[Brees_Mama]

subbing. I'm nursing my little guy (born june 2009) and he has allergies w the worse being corn and dairy

[joybird]

It is very hard unless you can look at the whole thing as a blessing and a gift that has been given to help you find new ways of looking at food and nutrition and even ways of being in the world.  If you feel deprived, you are deprived.  If you change your ways of thinking, your feelings will follow.  In my experience, allergies are directly connected to emotions and they can direct you toward a healthier path in life.  Food is fuel, not happiness.  

On a more practical note, the best advice I can give is to cut out all sugar aside from fruit and small amounts of honey.  Sugar addiction causes serious cravings and mood swings and interferes with the body's ability to regulate and balance itself.  When you eliminate sugar, all healthy foods become unbelievably delicious, and pizza and marshmallows become undesirable.  Grains are also basically sugar without much nutritional content. When you are shopping, try to remember what human beings have always eaten on this earth, up until the last few centuries.  They stayed very close to nature.  Another reason why allergies are becoming more prevalent.

I would also definitely not add eggs until you have things figured out a little more.  

[DevaMajka]

Originally Posted by bodhitree 

You know, what I really miss is the experience of being able to shop/eat without the feelings of deprivation. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I kind of wish I didn't have to spend all this time thinking of substitutions and coming up with menus and especially snacks that are delicious without containing any of the suspect foods. The whole change in the experience of what it's like to shop, cook and eat is what I'm not enjoying, if you know what I mean. I'm sure I'll get over it.

I totally understand that. I felt the same way when we were low sals, and free of the top 8 (at various points). I hated grocery shopping- it really bummed me out. Dp started doing the shopping- is that an option for you?

Do you have lots of foods out that you don't specifically suspect? If so, you will probably get many of them back and be able to enjoy a lot more options. That doesn't help now, but it's something to look forward to.
 

[bodhitree]

Originally Posted by joybird 

It is very hard unless you can look at the whole thing as a blessing and a gift that has been given to help you find new ways of looking at food and nutrition and even ways of being in the world.  If you feel deprived, you are deprived.  If you change your ways of thinking, your feelings will follow.  In my experience, allergies are directly connected to emotions and they can direct you toward a healthier path in life.  Food is fuel, not happiness.  

On a more practical note, the best advice I can give is to cut out all sugar aside from fruit and small amounts of honey.  Sugar addiction causes serious cravings and mood swings and interferes with the body's ability to regulate and balance itself.  When you eliminate sugar, all healthy foods become unbelievably delicious, and pizza and marshmallows become undesirable.  Grains are also basically sugar without much nutritional content. When you are shopping, try to remember what human beings have always eaten on this earth, up until the last few centuries.  They stayed very close to nature.  Another reason why allergies are becoming more prevalent.

I would also definitely not add eggs until you have things figured out a little more.  

See, but that really isn't the problem. Healthy foods are already delicious to me, and I'm not addicted to sugar. When I say I want "pizza," I'm not talking about Little Caesars, I'm talking about thin homemade crust (often whole grain) piled high with vegetables and a modest amount of cheese. Other foods that I really miss include good dark chocolate, oranges, and tofu. For me, it has taken many years of introspection and growth to get where I am now in my relationship with food, and cutting out all sugar for more than a few weeks at a time has never produced a healthier relationship with food for me because it too closely resembles some form of diet, which I no longer do. I agree that it's not good to look to food for happiness, but I don't believe there's anything wrong with letting food serve as a source of pleasure and even joy, as long as you keep it in a proper perspective. I listen to my body and do not designate any foods as "forbidden" (aside from ethical reasons or the foods I'm currently avoiding due to my nursling's intolerances). So that might be why I'm not liking the restrictions I currently have to live with. It's not that I'm craving unhealthy foods, it's the constant feeling of "No, no, no, I can't have this that or the other" that is more of a problem. I do agree with you that a change in perspective would probably be the most helpful thing.

 

Originally Posted by DevaMajka 

I totally understand that. I felt the same way when we were low sals, and free of the top 8 (at various points). I hated grocery shopping- it really bummed me out. Dp started doing the shopping- is that an option for you?

Do you have lots of foods out that you don't specifically suspect? If so, you will probably get many of them back and be able to enjoy a lot more options. That doesn't help now, but it's something to look forward to.
 

I wish I could have DH do the shopping. But we're on a tight budget, and he always spends a lot more than I would have. I am hoping we'll get one or two things back eventually, but I bet we'll lose a few more things too.

[joybird]

Ah!  Well then, the thoughts that have helped me the most are to try to put things in perspective.  If you look at the food situation globally, it helps.  We are so incredibly lucky that we have any food at all to feed our children, never mind choices of food which we still have, even with food restrictions.  Also, in terms of health issues that parents could be (and are) dealing with, I'll take allergies/sensitivities any day over some of the other things out there that your child could have ended up with.  My sister worked for a long while as a pediatric nurse in the intensive care unit of Children's Hospital here, so I know how very fortunate my family has been.  Whenever I am feeling sorry for myself or my kids I just think about the millions of women in the world who watch their children go hungry each and every night because there is no food to ease their suffering.  For me to bemoan my lot seems too selfish to continue, so I stop.  
 

Originally Posted by bodhitree 

Originally Posted by joybird 

It is very hard unless you can look at the whole thing as a blessing and a gift that has been given to help you find new ways of looking at food and nutrition and even ways of being in the world.  If you feel deprived, you are deprived.  If you change your ways of thinking, your feelings will follow.  In my experience, allergies are directly connected to emotions and they can direct you toward a healthier path in life.  Food is fuel, not happiness.  

On a more practical note, the best advice I can give is to cut out all sugar aside from fruit and small amounts of honey.  Sugar addiction causes serious cravings and mood swings and interferes with the body's ability to regulate and balance itself.  When you eliminate sugar, all healthy foods become unbelievably delicious, and pizza and marshmallows become undesirable.  Grains are also basically sugar without much nutritional content. When you are shopping, try to remember what human beings have always eaten on this earth, up until the last few centuries.  They stayed very close to nature.  Another reason why allergies are becoming more prevalent.

I would also definitely not add eggs until you have things figured out a little more.  

See, but that really isn't the problem. Healthy foods are already delicious to me, and I'm not addicted to sugar. When I say I want "pizza," I'm not talking about Little Caesars, I'm talking about thin homemade crust (often whole grain) piled high with vegetables and a modest amount of cheese. Other foods that I really miss include good dark chocolate, oranges, and tofu. For me, it has taken many years of introspection and growth to get where I am now in my relationship with food, and cutting out all sugar for more than a few weeks at a time has never produced a healthier relationship with food for me because it too closely resembles some form of diet, which I no longer do. I agree that it's not good to look to food for happiness, but I don't believe there's anything wrong with letting food serve as a source of pleasure and even joy, as long as you keep it in a proper perspective. I listen to my body and do not designate any foods as "forbidden" (aside from ethical reasons or the foods I'm currently avoiding due to my nursling's intolerances). So that might be why I'm not liking the restrictions I currently have to live with. It's not that I'm craving unhealthy foods, it's the constant feeling of "No, no, no, I can't have this that or the other" that is more of a problem. I do agree with you that a change in perspective would probably be the most helpful thing.

 

Originally Posted by DevaMajka 

I totally understand that. I felt the same way when we were low sals, and free of the top 8 (at various points). I hated grocery shopping- it really bummed me out. Dp started doing the shopping- is that an option for you?

Do you have lots of foods out that you don't specifically suspect? If so, you will probably get many of them back and be able to enjoy a lot more options. That doesn't help now, but it's something to look forward to.
 

I wish I could have DH do the shopping. But we're on a tight budget, and he always spends a lot more than I would have. I am hoping we'll get one or two things back eventually, but I bet we'll lose a few more things too.

[kjbrown92]

Sorry Jessica, don't read this, but when I feel deprived, I think of ChangingSeasons/Jessica, because her dd is down to only a few foods, and I think at least we have a good assortment of food. The big ones are out (corn, soy, dairy, gluten) and some other ones (about 15 other foods) but when I go shopping my cart is full of whole foods and nutritionally dense foods, and not the junk most people are buying, so I don't actually feel depressed. I mean sure, once in a while, I think I sure would love an orea, and I have been craving "real" (read chain store blechy) pizza lately, but we make our own pizza with a nice crust, and good flavor, and that satisfies me for a while. I did have to change my whole way of thinking and cooking though, that's for sure. I figure out how I can make things like what I'm seeing, just not the actual recipes, because we can't have this or that. I think it's definitely a mindset. And at the beginning it is definitely harder. But after a while, you get used to it, and realize you're eating healthier because of it.

[catinthehat]

I would suggest "treating" yourself to a couple new cookbooks that get you excited about the type of cooking you need to do with the limitations you are experiencing.  Maybe a good indian food cookbook, or another ethnic type cookbook would be good.

I know how you feel though.  My dh is daibetic so I try not to do carb stuff for him, my dd1 is off dairy, corn, soy, and peanuts; and dd2 and I are off dairy.  I have goat milk to be a lifesaver if you and dd can tolerate it.  The taste at first was bad, but I have gotten used to it.  

It gets easier.  Make sure you write down the good recipes you come up with so you have them at a later time when you are feeling like you have no ideas of things to make.  

I would try to get some protein in your diet though, whether it is in the form of goat milk, eggs, fish, or if need be meat.  I noticed a HUGE improvement in my energy and outlook and my dd's health when we started eating more meat.  I know that is a very personal choice, but I have found it to be very important.  

[Calliope84]

I second the cook books idea. I have a rice cooker recipe cook book and the worlds healthiest foods book and I am using a lot of the recipes in them. I made pinto beans last night in the rice cooker and this morning I made some mexican style rice and I am eating them both for lunch topped with mashed avocado / cilantro / lime juice. I am eating healthier than I ever have in my life, so I do feel good about that. This is forcing me to eat the diet I truly want to eat anyway.

I LOVE going to whole foods and going up and down the aisles looking for new food. I am excited to go today and look for things that I can eat. Are you going to a regular grocery store or natural type store? I would get depressed if I only went to the regular grocery store. I got depressed going there before because they have hardly any organic food.