Which one: Playful Parenting, Secret of Parenting, or Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles?

[mom2lucy]

I've read a multitude of parenting books and none really sit with me for any period of time.  I'm really looking for something practical that I can implement with my almost 3 yr. old and 7 mo. old.

I've heard such great things about Playful Parenting, but I'm wondering if there's more to it than just trying to use humor or goofiness to diffuse a situation?  I try this quite often with DD1 and she seems to get even angrier.  Maybe I'm not doing it correctly?

I've also heard excellent reviews on both the others, so I'm just wondering if you could pick one of the 3 which would it be??

Thanks so much!

[Courtney-Ostaff]

Humor doesn't always work.  I really like Mindful Parenting.  If I can just look at it from their point of view, instead of trying to make them conform to my issues/schedule, it helps me figure out what to do.  I really like Naomi Aldort's Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves.

Older children are more sensitive of their dignity, and she might feel that you're being disrespectful of her.  It helps if you can laugh at yourself.  Also, you should catch the situation before they're truly angry.  Then, the only thing I've heard/know that works is empathy.  "Yes, honey, I know you're angry.  ____ is very hard/difficult/frustrating.  I love you.  Want a hug?"

[LynnS6]

If I had to pick one, it'd be Kids, Parents & Power Struggles. It's really helpful and talks about temperament and your reaction as well as your children's. It's a nice mix of theory and practice.

Playful Parenting is probably my favorite book for me, however. It's about much more than "being silly". It's really about the importance of connection. With connection, a lot more becomes possible. Without connection, it's much more difficult. When I spend 30 minutes a day 'playing' with my kids (doing what they want me to do), I see less sibling rivalry, more willingness to help out, more ability to entertain themselves when I'm busy. And playful techniques can indeed help defuse tense situations -- dd has a hard time getting dressed in the morning. Like her mom, she's not a morning person. Instead of fighting her about it, I've 'given in' and help her. I'll sweep her up (getting harder now that she's 60 lbs!), plop her on the bed and get  her dressed. Even at 6, she loves it.

Really, I think that the best would be all three! Each will give you slightly different approaches/takes on things. I find I do best by taking ideas from several different places.

[GuildJenn]

If you want a sort of manual, I would choose none of the above and go for How to Talk So Kids Will Listen...

But I'm a big believer in reading everything and then cherry picking.

[mom2happy]

I'm a cherry picker too. Like to read LOTS!

Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles is a great one.

There are several great books that I've read. This one is pretty concise and has the same GD premise that most of them have.