Separating w/ a 19 month old

[fernijer]

Hi there,

My partner and I are separating and we want to stay as amicable as possible.  One potential road block to a harmonious separation is that I currently co-sleep with our 19-month-old.

"Daddy" has never liked co-sleeping and thinks that I have breastfed too long.  (You see where our differences begin.)

He obviously wants to share custody.

Has anyone been through a similar situation?  Any advice as to how to help our daughter through this transition, especially at night?

Thanks!

[aricha]

My husband and his ex split when my step-daughter was younger than yours, still nursing and co-sleeping. There were lots of other differences between the two houses and she didn't have any issues adjusting to the differences between the two. She moved back and forth smoothly with different routines and living situations with each parent. 

[Smithie]

The short answer is that you don't have control over what he does on his time at his house, and that it's his problem, not yours. 

At 19 months, I think I'd be planning a custody arrangement with a long view - does he want 50/50? If so, start it now and deal with the pain of it now, and hope that your DD doesn't remember that part and only remembers her two happy homes.