Book recommendation for non-confident mother of a one month old

[Plarka]

My brother says his wife doesn't seem to feel confident about her mothering and is always asking her parents (who are staying with them for 3 months)  for advice, alllllll the time.  The baby is a month old.  He's on the phone to me just now, saying he thinks if he could buy her a book to read about stuff like how to take care of a baby, she might feel more confident.  Can you recommend one?

She's quite a cosmopolitan type and not very earthy, so I don't think I want to scare her with some earth mother type book, like one I would like!  Maybe a more general one?

[laohaire]

Dr. Sear's The Baby Book is a good one.

I think the main point he tries to push is "trust yourself."

And it doesn't hurt that he recommends AP. But it doesn't come across like earth mother stuff, at least not to me. It's very general.

[wishin'&hopin']

Baby 411, which is NOT AP at all but that I found useful for nuts and bolts stuff (like hygiene/teething) all in all tho' it is a bit too mainstream advicey for my taste...but if you want something that is very pragmatic/basic about baby care it's a good place to start

I love Dr. Sears' the Baby Book...love it, love it, love it.  But, it can be a bit cumbersome (it's HUGE--which is why we got 411--for the basic baby care questions we had, NOT for the parenting philosophy.)

And Harvery Karp, Happiest Baby on the Block--being able to calm the fussies made us feel like MUCH more competant parents.

So, a swath, but it's what we found helpful as newbie moms.

[MeepyCat]

Definitely "The Happiest Baby on the Block."

I also really liked "If Your Kid Eats This Book, Everything Will Still Be Okay" by Lara Zibners.  Very down to earth, good advice on what's normal, what's not, when to call the doc, when to wait it out, when to head to the ER.

[SeattleRain]

Totally Happiest Baby on the Block. I would NOT get the Dr. Sears book. I found that he really pushed his own AP philosophy and everything seemed very connected i.e. "Breastfeeding is so fantastic for feeding your baby, it's easiest to breastfeed if you cosleep, and it's easiest to help your baby sleep during the day by wearing them in a sling." If there's a part of that equation that doesn't work for her or that she doesn't want to do, the whole book will start to feel like BS to her. That's the advice that I got from a friend who I recommended it to. If she's not into AP stuff, don't buy her that book.

Happiest Baby on the Block also has a DVD which can be helpful to new mamas who are really tired and can't put enough time together to read books. This series is primarily devoted to soothing your baby, not about general baby care. If had only one book, though, it would be this one.

I have the American Academy of Pediatrics book which I found to be VERY helpful for stuff like developmental milestones, feeding information, and "normal/not normal" questions. Fair disclosure: this book is very anti-cosleeping, as the AAP is anti-cosleeping. It is very pro-breastfeeding however. It doesn't have any information about babywearing I don't think.

I've heard good things about "YOU! Having a Baby."

Edit: I also really liked "The Baby Whisperer." She's into the schedule, so it's not great for AP mamas who are into just nursing on demand all the time and are okay with babies waking up all the time and doing their own thing. I like AP, but I really felt I needed a schedule for my own sanity. She's a former nanny and the stuff she writes about is really simple and easy (in theory) to implement. Her big this is E(at). A(ctivity). S(leep). Y(ou time). I get a lot of good information from there and I find her techniques great. She also has a really good non-CIO technique to deal with night wakings and is really strongly against crying.

[marinak1977]

another vote for "the baby book". I found it really well written and accessible and not too preachy.

[Sfcmama]

Originally Posted by marinak1977 

another vote for "the baby book". I found it really well written and accessible and not too preachy.

Ditto!

She might also like The Mother Trip which is more about transitioning into the identity of motherhood. Written in a funny tone that makes it ok to want to more than Mom sometimes.

[eastvillage]

Happiest Baby on the Block is pretty good, and I like The Baby Whisperer - I know it may not be the most popular around here (it doesn't prescribe co-sleeping) but it's step-by-step designed to make the new mother comfortable and less panick-y.  Helped a lot when I was a first-timer.  Now with my third, I don't need anything but SLEEP!

[Mawood]

I think Dr. Sears Baby book is a great book to look up medical matters as well as parenting (sleep,...) questions. I love the tone and it helped me a lot during those first weeks. My husband and I would trade of reading it and I would sit and nurse while reading it. We both didn't like the happiest baby on the block so it really depends on what you can relate to.

[RaeDyCo]

I really like The Mother of All Baby Books -- http://www.amazon.com/Mother-All-Baby-Books-Ultimate/dp/0764566164#_(US version) or http://www.amazon.ca/Mother-All-Baby-Books-All-Canadian/dp/1553350073 (Canadian version)

[jennybear]

I like the Dr. Sears book, but I think it has potential to make a mom who's not feeling confident feel even worse, particularly if she's not into AP. You say in another post she's formula feeding and this book will likely make her feel badly about that. It also advocates for staying home with baby as long as you can baby wearing, etc. And definitely don't get her "Attachment Parenting." The preachy-ness drove me nuts and I AP!

I think Happiest Baby on the Block is a great recommendation.

[Knitting Mama]

Originally Posted by RaeDyCo 

I really like The Mother of All Baby Books -- http://www.amazon.com/Mother-All-Baby-Books-Ultimate/dp/0764566164#_(US version) or http://www.amazon.ca/Mother-All-Baby-Books-All-Canadian/dp/1553350073 (Canadian version)

The reviews of this book (the American version) seem to indicate that this book is great for pregnancy and maybe the first couple of weeks, but not for after that. Can you confirm/deny?

[RaeDyCo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama 

The reviews of this book (the American version) seem to indicate that this book is great for pregnancy and maybe the first couple of weeks, but not for after that. Can you confirm/deny?

I found it especially helpful for the first couple months but did continue using it throughout the first year.  I was very glad I read it before having the baby because who has time to read after baby comes?  I do think the greater focus is on the stressful first few months but I appreciated the health info (when do I call the doctor? illness symptoms, etc.).

On Amazon, you can also look at the Table of Contents so that may help you decide if the topics are helpful for more than just the first few weeks.

[savithny]

Oh, man.  Someone gave us a book taht was like (not exactly!) "Eyewitness Guide to Parenting."  Big pictures of parents and babies on a white background, starting with "How to pick up baby from stomach-lie.   How to put on a romper.  How to change a boy's diaper.  How to change a girls diaper (both cloth and paper!).  How to put baby into a sling.  How to put on a sweater."  Literally, that simple.  

I'd babysat.  DH had never picked up a baby.  He spent a long time looking that one over again and again!