Are your Holiday Presents "Equal"?

[AllisonR]

If you have more than one DC, do you make sure they get equal presents? Either in quantity or monetary amount? Curious to hear what others do, and why.

My mom spent 200 dollars on each child every year, plus / minus 5 bucks, she says.

I'm thinking maybe I should make gifts equal, but I have not so far. My DC are 4 and 6. When they were babies I didn't at all. DS was older and actually had some interests; DD was still chewing her fingers and wrapping paper, so I saw no point in giving her the same amount.

Now I try to have the same quantity of presents for each, plus / minus a present or two. But I don't count the amount I spend. I buy more what I think they will like. I suppose if I had spent 30 dollars on one child but 300 on the other, then I would try to even it out a bit more for the other child, but that hasn't happened yet. I guess there could be up to a 25% difference, but I don't know. Also, both kids play with each other's toys a huge amount. And sometimes one gets something and the other one uses it almost exclusively. So I guess I just haven't seen a point, yet, in making it even. I suppose this may change as they get older though.

[AllyRae]

Nope, on either.  First, the 1 year old just doesn't really notice the monetary value or the quantity of gifts.  DS asked for things that were quite a bit more expensive than what the 3 year old wanted, for example (DS wanted an electric scooter, DD wanted a regular scooter--there's a $75 difference between the two.  I didn't even that out in any way because the kids don't know what costs what).  That, and the kids get a couple gifts just for themselves, but the majority of gifts are joint gifts for all of them, since they all play with everything anyhow.

ETA:  I couldn't even tell you the exact amount I spent on each kid.  I know it wasn't like one kid got $500 spent on him and the other got some junky dollar store stuff.  They all got high quality stuff, some from their lists and some that I just picked out, but I didn't purposely try to make it even monetarily.  And the baby got more gifts because she won't be able to share the joint ones for awhile (microscope, etc.)  In the end, there will be a big pile on the floor on Christmas eve and the kids won't necessarily know who got more.

[churndash]

I do try to keep things equal...in terms of personal meaning to the child, not necessarily dollar value or amount. If I give one child some super-awesome toy or game that he's wanted forever, I'm not going to give his sister a pile of socks and underwear.

My three are spaced 4 1/2 and 3 1/2 years apart so no sharing of toys, really.

[SubliminalDarkness]

Same number, very similar monetary value. 

[limabean]

I don't really keep track of the dollar amount, but they get fairly equivalent gifts, and they do usually get the same number of gifts. 

[cappuccinosmom]

Not really.  We do a very limited number of gifts anyway, and not expensive ones.  So it's not like one is getting 10 and the other is getting 2, or one is getting something for $200 and the other a $10 something or other.

I try to go with what I know will delight them.  My oldest son really wants a watch, so he's getting a decent quality one from his grandma.  My middle kid would be happy with a water gun from Dollar General. My younger one does'nt care, just as long as it's a present for him.

[raelize]

we do same number, not necessarily exact same dollar amount, but pretty close.  this year they are each getting 4 presents, plus stockings.

[Hey Mama!]

I try to do the same number.  I usually have a rough value of what I want to spend for each child but one may go over based on sale prices, etc.

[Alyantavid]

For the most part, yes.  Especially this year, because they'll notice.

ds1 (8)

ipod

video game

movie

book

science kit

clothes

pjs

ornament

a few small toys

ds2 (4)

ds

video game

movie

book

3d dinosaur thing

clothes

pjs

ornaments

few small toys

Plus they're stockings, which is are pretty similar.  They're also getting one large joint gift.

[AllisonR]

Originally Posted by Alyantavid 

ds2 (4)

ds

video game

movie

book

3d dinosaur thing

clothes

pjs

ornaments

few small toys

Plus they're stockings, which is are pretty similar.

Wow, so your ds2 is getting a baby brother? Very generous gift imo. Sorry, couldn't resist. 

My 6yo asked for a Nintendo DS and I've said no. Big meany mommy. I told him to use the computer instead. 

[Alyantavid]

Originally Posted by AllisonR 

Originally Posted by Alyantavid 

ds2 (4)

ds

video game

movie

book

3d dinosaur thing

clothes

pjs

ornaments

few small toys

Plus they're stockings, which is are pretty similar.

Wow, so your ds2 is getting a baby brother? Very generous gift imo. Sorry, couldn't resist. 

My 6yo asked for a Nintendo DS and I've said no. Big meany mommy. I told him to use the computer instead. 

I didn't even think of that!  That's not a gift he'd be happy with!

[MJB]

My boys (5 and 8) share a room and have the same interests. So this year instead of getting them individual gifts, we got a bunch of gifts which are wrapped but not labeled for one or the other. We will make it clear that those gifts are to share and they can each open half of them. They are each getting one labeled gift (things they need-- new shinguards for one and a new bike helmet for the other). The baby is getting a lot fewer gifts that cost a lot less money (we probably spent $300 on the boys together and only about $30 on her) but she is a baby and won't notice. Since she is so much younger than her brothers I imagine her gifts will cost less for a long time to come, but they will be bigger packages (big kid stuff is tiny!) and she will be more excited anyway. 

[pianojazzgirl]

My dc are 6 and 3.  In previous years dd (older) got more presents than ds because ds had lots of toys (dd's old toys) to "grow into", but dd had no hand-me down toys and needed more age-appropriate stuff, AND ds was too young to a) have any real obsessions to indulge, and b) notice the disparity in gift quantities.  This year I'm being careful to make sure that dd and ds have the same amount of presents to open.  I'm not worried about spending the same $ amount on each of them, but I am making sure to get them gifts with equal "wow factor" iykwim.  For example dd's gift from Santa is a biggish Playmobil set (cost around $50) and ds's gift from Santa is a set of Super Mario figurines (cost around $25).  They won't know the difference in price, but each of them will be super excited about their gift.  

[JudiAU]

Not even close, but they are young (3.5, 16m) so I don't think it matters. The older is getting, um, like 5 times as many in number and value. I really really had to scratch my head to come up with something the little one would really like, as her own little person.

Poor thing. We got some monetary gifts "to prepare" for her and she got things like fancy Haba bocks and whatnot. She wuldn't play with them for years but it was all I could think of... Ds loved them of course.

My family gifts by exact dollar amount as well, give our take $5.

[Storm Bride]

Same number, except for any baby in the house. Usually, they get two from us, plus PJs on Christmas Eve, plus one Santa gift. The baby will get one from us and one from Santa, and a new sleeper on Christmas Eve. This year, my toddler is getting three, but only because I happened to find three that I really, really thought she'd like. We also have two extra gifts...one for all four kids, from me and dh, and one for dd1 and ds2, from Santa.

Dollar value? Not even close. I have no idea what I spent on any of them, but ds1 usually ends up with something much more expensive than the younger ones (although that's mostly because he gets a lot of stuff tha requires shipping!). The baby usually gets the cheapest gifts. This year, dd1's two gifts (a Magic School Bus science kit, and a hula hoop) totalled about $35, including shipping on one of them. DS2's two gifts (an I See Me! personalized book, and a large tub of Lego) totalled about $80. But, dd1's are both guaranteed "hits", and ds2's are less so (I'm about 95% sure he'll love them, but I'm 110% sure dd1 will love hers). Dollar value just isn't important to me.

Edited by Storm Bride - 12/17/10 at 6:24pm

[mamadelbosque]

Last year? not at all. This year? somewhat. I think I have 9 things "for" ds1 and 8 for ds2 (monetarily, ~75 for ds1 and ~50 for ds2). But some of DS2's stuff is more for both of them, where as most of ds1's stuff is for 'him'. :shrug

[Lisa1970]

No.

My sister and I talked about this. She does, I do not. It is hard because often, what I get, includes things they needed anyway. So how fair is it if one child gets clothes they needed anyway and a new chair for his room, then the next gets only toys, does it need to be equal? Not really. Plus, here, the public high schools all require the kids have computers, so we have started giving computers to kids when they are in the last holiday before 9th grade. And I am not going to go out and try to spend as much on toys and such as I did for that. Older children needed new fencing equipment so they are getting it, because the gym they do to requires they have it to continue. But I am not going to attempt to give the same dollars worth in toys. DS16 needs new clothes and a coat. He will get it as a gift, even though, it is not like he is asking for a specific high price item, I am just picking him something out that looks like what teens wear these days, nothing special.

See what I am saying?

[34me]

I will be the lone dissenter, so fay :). I spend similarly on each. If your heart's desire is X and it's more than your brothers he gets more loot. That's just they way it is in our house. Works for us (and them).

[tabrizia]

Cost not really, number we keep the same.  That being said, I don't go and buy one dollar store toys and the other high end items.  It just ends up that often DS has more spent on him because his interests even at 3 1/2 are more expensive then DD's at 21 months, or the big gift for one of them costs more then the big gift for the other.  They both are getting a big gift, DD's just ended up costing half as much as DS' this year.  It isn't an intentional thing, but we don't worry about keeping them both to the same dollar amount or even close if there is something one would love that is $10 and that the other would love that is $50.

[EviesMom]

I don't worry about making it perfectly equal in number or money, but it generally comes fairly close. Although we do wrap up hand me down gifts to DS, and I consider the original value of them making a holiday budget, so I guess technically he gets less $ spent on him.