22 month old and 4 wk old - getting organised and into a routine

[UK mummy]

Hi all,

I was wondering if people with two or more kids would tell me about their routines and how they get stuff achieved, especially in the mornings?  I have a 4 wk old and 22 month old and find it hard to get organised and seem to spend hours BFeeding on the sofa in the mornings while my 22 month old watches his Thomas the Tank Engine DVD over and over.  I have always prided myself on being very organised, having a clean and tidy house and doing lots of things with my oldest, toddler groups, etc but now I feel he's missing out on things like that not to mention the fact I find it hard to get anything done around the house (laundry, cleaning, etc) so I am feeling very frustrated.

Any words of wisdom would be appreciated!  Thanks,

x

[pianojazzgirl]

I think the most important thing is to realize that *right now* it's likely and OK that you won't be able to keep up with the housework like you were able to before having a baby.  No guilt mama!  Having a newborn baby and a toddler is a full time job in and of itself.  Now is a time where you should allow yourself to accept (and ask for, if necessary) any offers of help - from friends, dh, family, etc.  It can be a hard adjustment (for you and for your older dc) going from one to two.  Right now allow the priority to be making that adjustment, finding balance with your new family. 

I found that after my 2nd dc came along it was the time when dh really stepped up and started doing a lot more one-on-one stuff with dd.  He also made sure to take ds out, snuggled up in a carrier, so I could have "girl time" with dd as well.  When it was just me and the two kids at home I just did my best, yk?  Yes, dd watched more dvds than was ideal, but I tried my best to also read her stories while nursing, do activities with ds asleep in a carrier (he never would let me put him down), etc.  I also made an effort to get out of the house.  I would take them both to the park and nurse ds while dd played on the equipment.  I reached out to my friends and had them come over and help out or we would visit them.  Having another adult around really helped.  Getting out of the house helped.

The thing is to try your best to let go of the guilt.  The early days can be tough, and it's ok to be in survival mode.  Things will get better and easier as your babe gets older, I promise!  It will not always be hard like this.