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Do you have a parenting motto? - Page 4

post #61 of 80

Say "yes" as often as possible.

 

 

This really strikes me, just because it makes "no" really mean something, and demonstrates not just passivity or blanket allowance of unsafe things, but more not trying to "hold your ground" when it really doesn't matter a whit!

post #62 of 80

J.O.Y

Jesus first

Others Second

Yourself last

 

Plus lead with love and example since our kids always mirror our habits and tendencies

post #63 of 80

"This too, shall pass".

 

Got that one from my parents. 

post #64 of 80

The peace within becomes the harmony without.

 

When I'm clear, calm, peaceful, present ... everything goes smoothly.  :)

post #65 of 80

That's beautiful.  I imagine it allows you to go within and see where Jesus is leading you with the children.  Thanks for sharing.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by mimi_mommy View Post

J.O.Y

Jesus first

Others Second

Yourself last

 

Plus lead with love and example since our kids always mirror our habits and tendencies

post #66 of 80

"My goal is not to raise well behaved children, but well adjusted adults."

post #67 of 80

"Look for the bare necessities."

post #68 of 80

Hey just wanted to say thanks for the comment...I just had one of those days where I feel I got my butt kicked...the encouragement was very uplifting!

post #69 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicolerenee515 View Post

"Look for the bare necessities."


I like this. Does it mean to break things down to its simplest component?
post #70 of 80

"my child, my choice"

 

it seems like we've gone against the grain on every decision...when we had our baby, what i ate while pregnant, how i birthed, vax, what i let her eat, watch, hear, and soon, school.  i'm not try9ing to be difficult, but i have carefully read, researched, weighed out and thought through every big decision we make.  i'm sticking to it.  all the naysayers had their own chance to feed their newborns ice cream and  spoil their kids with all the "in" toys..it's my turn now and i get to do it how i want to.  :D

post #71 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by mimi_mommy View Post

Hey just wanted to say thanks for the comment...I just had one of those days where I feel I got my butt kicked...the encouragement was very uplifting!

 

Thank you for sharing it! 

 

namaste.gif
 

post #72 of 80

this from my mom when dealing with a tantrum throwing toddler... "i'm bigger than you, you are not going to win" not meaning that children have no rights, but more that, if its time to go and you need shoes on, its going to happen even if its not with total cooperation. also meaninging "you cant always get what you want"

 

and my daddy "no, its not fair, and its not a circus either"

 

and what i have learned with an almost 2 yr old "don't give up" try again in 5 minutes, or tomorrow or next week, but just because she's still sleeping in my bed tonight doesn't mean she'll be there when she's 12. just because her diaper is wet again doesnt negate that she pooped in the potty earlier, its always progress!

 

and- i do not believe in clean children. they don't exist. and the ones that are clean are a combination of accident and unhappiness, so just let her be a little dirty all the time, and a lot dirty when needed.

post #73 of 80

The line from that poem- "Babies don't keep" is in my head a lot right now as I try to let go of my expectations of what things *should* be like currently. 

 

I've gotten great things from this thread, thank you for starting it DeerMother!  I am going to work on putting "people first" and making sure that I try to "connect before I correct."  I'm also going to try to get back to the "yes" and away from the "no" that developed as DS got older and I got cranky during my second pregnancy. 

post #74 of 80

"Forget the dishes, they'll still be there tomorrow - let's play trucks."  That's my motto just now.

 

I'm really deeply aware of how fleeting childhood is these days for some reason and I just want to eat up every moment.  I clearly need more babies, LOL!

 

My other current motto: "Love with all your heart today.  Today is all you have."  My sister emailed that to me from across the world recently after having lost her beloved mother-in-law unexpectedly.  It struck a chord.  We can't control how many days we have left, but we can give our all to today.  

 

Nice thread!  

post #75 of 80

This poem, by Malvina Reynolds:

 

I wish you were here to get underfoot; 

I wish you were here to get in the way; 

To call me from work; 

To call me to play; 

I wish you were here again.

 

What was I doing that had to be done?

And what was I reading that had to be read?

When I could have turned to watch you, instead.

I wish you were here again.

 

Also, I think to myself, hundreds of times daily, "Does it really matter?"  As in, does it matter that he's running circles around the kitchen, screaming in delight, while I'm cooking?  Most often, it doesn't.  If it doesn't matter, I don't stop it.

post #76 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizbiz View Post

My other current motto: "Love with all your heart today.  Today is all you have."  My sister emailed that to me from across the world recently after having lost her beloved mother-in-law unexpectedly.  It struck a chord.  We can't control how many days we have left, but we can give our all to today. 



Yes!  Right now is all we have.  That certainly puts parenting in perspective if we let it.  Thanks for sharing. namaste.gif

post #77 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by mom22girls View Post

I sing, "Mama said there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this mama said..."



Now that I've seen the marmoset video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oiLfTnrC40 ~ I can not hear, or even think of that song, without being reminded of the marmosets.  

 

"Marmoset there'd be days like these . . . "  way cute.  

 

post #78 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by OldFashionedGirl View Post

I have to say, "This, too, shall pass," always pissed me off, especially when my kids were newborns.  It didn't help me in the middle of the night when my baby was screaming bloody murder for no reason.  I know it's helpful for other people, but it wasn't for me. 

 

I guess my "motto" is, "This could be the last."  I once read a story in one of those silly Chicken Soup for the Soul books, this one for new mothers.  The author talks about how you have these baby books for all a baby's firsts, but what there should really be is a way to documents the lasts....the last bottle, the last diaper, the last time you carry them, the last time you kiss their owie, etc...  And somehow, that DID help me during the middle of the night feedings.  And when my now four-year old son asks me to hold him in church, I bite back the temptation to say, "You're too heavy;" or when he wants to sit on my lap while I read, I always say yes, even though he makes it impossible to actually read....because I remember that all too soon he really WILL be too big to hold, and won't WANT to sit on my lap any more...that one of these days, it will be "the last." 

 

It sounds silly, but it's really helped me a lot.



This.

 

I too hated the 'this too shall pass' carp, as it was ALWAYS said to me by a neat, put together parent cradling or leading by the hand a calm, well behaved child, while my kids were shrieking bloody murder in tandem or throwing themselves on the floor in a full out tantrum because some - and I quote- son of a b!@#$ knocked his tower over at playgroup, while I'm there with my hair uncombed and my boob not quite put away. So ya, this too shall pass REALLY didn't help me AT ALL.

"This is what liquor's for" was far more helpful to me to be honest. At least then I could kinda laugh and say, darn right, just wait till they go to bed, I'm having a glass...err.... vat of wine!

 

I love the 'this could be last' though. Have you ever read The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver? When she writes about the youngest, the last child it's just beautiful, very moving.

 

 

post #79 of 80

Sometimes, you just have to improvise.

post #80 of 80

Ours is Us Against Them. It doesn't sound very cozy, but it's our humourous way of dealing with the chaos and our family loves humour. :)

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