Social skills class - Page 2

[Tigerle]

So far I have only been reading, not commenting, because DS is too young to BTDT, but I've been thinking that a few years along, DS might really benefit from this kind of class if he continues to struggle with peer relations and socially appropriate behaviour among kids.

However, the first thoughts I've been having reading your OP have been similar to what Visionary said: "sounds like he really hates group work - and why would they place so much emphasis on this in a classroom full of gifted kids who may be all over the place developmentally and academically?" Which reminded me that you've been having issues before about typical gifted concerns that the teachers in this school just don't seem to get, for all that they're running a self-contained gifted program. I tried to think back whether you've ever mentioned your DS having problmes with peer relations, and IIRC you wrote that he has found friends in his new classroom right away, and that he takes part in a number of extracurricular programs both with age mates and grade mates without your having problems to report  with peer relations. So unless you're just not seeing things which are there, suggesting a social skills class for a child that isnt struggling socially seems odd to me - like this might really be an issue with classroom management on the part of the teacher or program design on the part of the school that they're reframing as a social skills issue on the part of your child.

Hoewever, it is also odd that an 8yo child that is socially aware did not seem to understand that playing under a chair during group work time might bother other children. Which makes me think whether this might be a misunderstanding: that he dislikes group work so much that he did not realize that participating isn't just a behavioral expectation from the teacher but also from other children who do not mind it (this abuse of preer pressure being a reason why I dislike group work for children, too) and that he just didn't understand why it would be their buisness.

just a thought.

[JollyGG]

Tigerle I think you have articulated better than I could what some of my thoughts and issues on this is. It almost seems that the school and I have a differing definition of "social issues" or that my son acts completely different when not with me and they are seeing a completely different kid.

I think I need to talk more to his teacher about the group work dynamic. Most of the group work is in reading which is his strong suit (last evaluation a couple of months ago had him reading at around a 7th grade level). I've gotten more explanation from him about what happened the day he was having the issues she mentioned. While I think he does need to learn how to interact in the situation he was in better, it turns out that he was dealing with a bit of boredom and a bit of just not understanding why the other kids didn't already "get it". Basically he was looking ahead in the book and didn't decide to hide under the desk until the other kids started yelling at him for being on the wrong page.

I do think that this school doesn't understand a lot of gifted issues for all that they are a self contained gifted classroom, and really struggles with understanding asynchronous development. That is frustrating for us, but I know that it's better than our neighborhood school. So for now I'm just slowly working with his current school and trying to figure out how to educate.

Right now I'm leaning towards doing the social skills class because even if he finds much of the class unnecessary I'm sure there is something he can get out it and because it will make his school happy. But I plan to visit with both his teacher more and with the counselor before making any decisions, which will have to wait until after Christmas break. There is both a general school and a self contained gifted school in this building. If the social skills class is with other kids in his program I would be more inclined to let him do it.

[joensally]

What's the criteria for getting into the class?

Two things occur to me:  first, I wonder if it's a case of some of the other gifted kids being rigid and rule bound and being PITAs (getting upset that he's moving ahead), and the second is that if his behaviour is out of norm within a class of gifted kids, that's something to think about.

[JollyGG]

For the social skills class? No clue.

For the full time gifted program - 95% or higher on the KBIT (a brief ability assessment) and 95% or higher in either Math or Verbal skills on the KTEA (a brief achievement assessment). So this is not a program for the profoundly gifted or anything. It's also a program that seems to regularly have problems understanding common gifted issues. I wouldn't consider it a great gifted program. But having any gifted program in my state/area is pretty rare, especially a full time one.

Is his behavior outside of the norm for his class? I don't know. I can think of several kids in his class who I would consider to have just as many if not more social and other issues than my son does. I don't know what sort of conversations, if any, the school is having with those parents.

After discussing this over the weekend with my husband I think we need to have a clear discussion with my son about what the goals of the group work really are (need to get those clarified from his teacher first). I'm thinking that he doesn't realize that the goals aren’t to know the answers on the worksheet or whatever but are to develop group work skills.

Originally Posted by joensally 

What's the criteria for getting into the class?