Anyone here live with other single mamas?

[MamitaM]

I'm not liking my apartment right now and the wait lists for low income housing co ops are pretty long and I haven't gotten the applications done yet. I really don't want to move until I get some of the debt down first so I have to put up with noisy and smoky neighbors until my lease ends in May at least.

Has anyone lived with another single mama? How did you find that mama and what ground rules did you have?

I've only know one woman that did this,it didn't work b/c they had different parenting styles.

[bananabee]

subbing

[SoulJourney]

I used to live with another single mama who I met on MDC. We met in our DDC and our kids were 2 weeks apart and we had the same parenting style. It was amazing and we really worked like a team together to give our kids the best. If you can find another single mama to live with who has the same lifestyle and parenting style then it's totally worth it. We are still friends and our kiddos have known each other since birth! Good luck...it's certainly so very hard to figure out housing as a single mama. {{hugs}}

[meemee]

i was part of a single mamas group so i was around many single mamas.

but i never lived with any of them. nor do i plan to. 

i am pretty radical as a parent and see a lot of raised eyebrows around me. dd also is very different. 

so i have found we get along better with other adults rather than other parents with children to live with. 

today dd is 8. even at 4 other adults were better than parents. 

[BabyBearsMummy]

I tried it when my daughter was younger. It was a huge disaster. But the woman I was sharing with was mentally unstable, manipulative and controlling. I am sure it could be a huge success given the right pairing  of families.  

[LorenaAZ]

I currently live with a single mama.  We met through our university and we belong to the same local mothering group (which is made up of "crunchy" mamas).  We talked about our expectations and didn't really make any rules.  I think we are both very tolerant and stable.  I am surprised sometimes at how well we get along considering how vastly different we are.  Our kids are about 6 months apart, they go to the same daycare, and really love each other.  But that love comes with loooooooots of fights too....reminds me of me and my brother when we were little. 

We were on the same boat as you.  We were living in an apartment and wanted a bigger place, but couldn't afford it alone.  So we moved in together and it's been working fine. 

[zebra15]

Im a single mom and I have a roommate (shes a single mom but her kiddo is about 25 or so and does not live here).  Things are far from perfect but there is no way either of us could afford to live anywhere w/o a roomie so this is the best of a bad economy right now.  Plus my son gets to live in a house vs apt, we can have a dog and some other things.

What happens is the housekeeping stuff usually falls on me (cooking, dishes, some cleaning) but its just easier that way.  At least I know it gets done to my standards.  Roomie is the 'pet expert', is incharge of the house mainteance and yard stuff (she usually hires that out) and she buys the non food items for the house.- laundry detergent, tp, paper towels, etc.

Roomie is also my backup sitter on occassion.  If I have a PM appt or I work Friday as a sub and she doesnt work Fridays DS will stay home and she will watch him.

Ground rules?? Hummm I've know roomie for almost 11 years so she has a pretty good idea of what I allow etc.  Sometimes she annoys me but this is the really the only thing I am going to be able to afford for awhile.

[Shanny2032]

I am a smbc to a 2 year old and my sister is a single mother who split with her daughters father about 18 months ago.  On some levels, we parent very similar but not until we moved in together 6 months ago did we realize how different we really parent (well I realized it but I am not sure she has).  I had been in an apartment for ages that I loved and when my sis became single they moved in below us.  After a year we thought of all the things we could provide the girls if we pooled out resources (backyard, more indoor space to play, etc)  We also thought of all of the things we could help each other with - I could actually go to the grocery store by myself, she could maybe go on a date.  Um, not so much.  Here are some things to think about that you may want to consider if one or both of you has pretty young kids.  When one of our kids is sleeping we want peace and quite but that doesn't always happen because there is still another (awake) child in the house.  When her dd is visitng her dad my daughter is obsessed with my sister and just follows her around the house talking her ear off - again she gets no peace and quite when she rightfully deserves that!  But I can't tie my kid up (it has crossed my mind of course!) and one of us shouldn't always have to leave our house just for quiet.  Also, if one of you wants to go out on a Saturday night do you get a sitter if the other Mom doesn't want to watch your kid?  What about a saturday afternoon?  These things are magnified for us because we are both nannies (she is a part time nanny/part time pre school teacher) and take our kids to work with us, so we really don't want to watch someone else's kid when we finally just have our own!  After 6 months it has gotten better but in the beginning the fighting between the kids was NON STOP.  They weren't fighting like siblings, they were fighting like 2 kids who were expected to get along for a 12 hour play date every weekend.  Things have gotten better between the girls and my sister and I.  For me I have just realized that if you go 38 years without getting married or co habitating and decide to parent on your own there is probably a reason for that - I am just not meant to live with someone or co parent!  I can't wait until our lease is up in May and I am planning to buy a house.  I am not saying it can't work out but all of the things we thought about and discussed before hand were not the issues that have come up since moving in together.  Good luck.