Hi Shannon,
I could give a tip, or encouragement at least. Note well: I'm a dentist. I don't appear here in that capacity, just as a parent, but seems good to mention it. I'm not sure you need to worry. Yes, some kids ease into brushing, some don't. Some take to the dental appointment, some don't. I'm curious as to what your dentist says. In general, at 4, we'd like more than a 'peek'. Although the recommendation of the ADA that by 12 months a visit should take place has always made me scratch my head, we like to try and introduce them to the world of dentist visits at 3 or so. Success to me is: they got in the chair, they were okay with our gloves and masks, they put on the sunglasses so the light didn't bother them, they behaved. It's a 'tell, show, do' demonstration. I haven't even shown up yet (this is the assistant or the hygienist thus far). Ideally, the child allows a cleaning with the motorized rubber cup and paste. This introduces a noise-making device into their mouth, and the saliva ejector, too. And the air/water tip. It eases them into all this stuff. Mirror and tooth counter, also. At 3, or 4, any of this without tears and hysterics is success. If it don't fly, we stop. The idea for me is that if they need real work in the near future (or at any time as children), we can hopefully ease into it, and introduce all that other stuff I need for tooth repair. The goal is to avoid more severe approaches: sedation, especially general sedation, and the added stress and expense of the pediatric specialist. I have been very impressed and enthused with what I've read in the few posts I've seen here with the involvement of you parents. Whether the focus is alternative or holistic or organic as the primary goal, the result appears to be a well-directed involvement in prevention. As it should be. The goal should always be to avoid the dentist. Not avoid regular checkups, but the need for tooth repair. This forum is taking us that way, and it's great to see.
Basics: brush and floss. Limit the carbohydrates. Clean the teeth with gentle brushing (if it takes more than that, they need a professional cleaning) and floss any teeth that touch a neighbor. Some kids have natural space, and that's pretty fortunate. Rarely do the two baby molars not touch, though, and my suggestion is always, from the minute these teeth are present, to floss them. Just pop the floss through the contact, lickety split. Nothing fancy. She's not going to let you back there for long anyway. The floss sticks help a lot. She may even want to do it herself, and in my place the toddlers and kids get samples of these floss sticks. For adults we prefer hand manipulated regular floss, because you're trying to do more than just break contact. Don't stress. Don't fuss at her to do more. Let her watch you and she should want to do what mom does. Love the Sonicare. She may want a spin brush of her own. That may be the ticket and your worry that she's been resistant may evaporate.
Let me finish with this: that she has not taken to brushing, whether you doing it in her younger years or her these past couple years, may or may not mean much. The chewing surface of a back tooth can get a cavity no matter what you do. Or what we do either, in the office. Sure, as said, limit the carbs, brush morn and night, and perhaps consider the route others in this forum are taking (supplements like xylitol). We've long touted flouride, but it could turn out that better things exist. Then, as for the in-between surfaces, of any teeth but especially the back molars, floss can mean the difference between cavities or no cavities. One last thing: you may be worried because you don't know enough: that is, a 'peek' isn't really helping anyone. One goal of the first visit, and subsequent visits with kids (until they're teens, when nothing matters anymore and they seem to have forgotten that toothbrushes exist..) is to check the efficacy of home care and enlighten you. They are shown, too, where the plaque is insufficiently cleaned away (there's almost always some spots, and with some kids it's alarming). They get positive reinforcement and encouragement, and it's meaningful, we hope, coming from the doctor. You are shown, too, so you know how to help her. It's an important event, and we're sad when it takes place so late that there are cavities. We want her excited and dancing out of the office with a "No cavities club" sticker on her shirt and a bag with a new brush and a ring on her finger, etc...
Best to you and yours this new year, Matthew
