Puddle jumping, mudpies, floor food, nudity, free range kids... - Page 2

[Picard]

I'm totally fine with DS playing in the rain, playing with dirt, etc. When he is at home, he can pretty much do whatever. Run in the nude if he wants, pick stuff off the floor, not wash his hands. I do have a very strict rule though that when we have been out and about running errands or going to a museum or whatever, we wash our hands first thing when we come home. I have always done that and I think that it is a must when living in a big international urban area.

[cyclamen]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy 

Originally Posted by cyclamen 

I dunno... a few moms I know are soooo relaxed about swapping spit and snot (kind of under the name of "free range" and "we're relaxed" and "we don't fear germs") and I have to admit, I'm not into the sharing sippy cup thing.  I try to intercept it before it happens most of the time.  But a lot of moms I know totally encourage it.    My mom used to get on my case about never sharing drinks.  She grew up in the age of tuberculosis, but I don't have to be worried about TB, or squeamish, or a germaphobe to not want your kid drinking out of my kid's sippy cup.  I just don't want to get the stomach flu, thanks.

. Plus he's mostly sharing cups/food/etc. with close friends so he'd be exposed to their germs anyway just by being in frequent, close proximity with them (I wouldn't let him share cups with a stranger...) Just sharing the other perspective :)

You know, I think you may have hit on what makes me uncomfortable!  I also wouldn't share cups with a stranger, but I would share a cup with my best friend, DD or DP.  I feel uncomfortable when another mom at playgroup who I see maybe once a month is actively encouraging her kid and my kid to share cups.  "Oh, that's A.'s cup.  It's okay if if S. drinks out of it, right?" 

It feels presumptuous.  Especially when one of us is sitting two feet away with S.'s cup, so it's hard to even say it's for convenience's sake.  And since I almost always intercept my daughter and say, "Oh, that is so-and-so's cup, here is your cup!" 

Perhaps I have different feelings about how close I feel to these mom's vs. how close they feel to me.  Could it be that some of these mom's perceive cup-sharing as a bonding activity - sort of saying, "Oh we are sharing cups, so we must be all friends here."  Whereas I perceive it as something done after a bonding has occurred?  "If we were all very close friends here, we could share cups."

Huh.  Guess it's not a germ thing that bothers me after all.

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by cyclamen 
You know, I think you may have hit on what makes me uncomfortable!  I also wouldn't share cups with a stranger, but I would share a cup with my best friend, DD or DP.  I feel uncomfortable when another mom at playgroup who I see maybe once a month is actively encouraging her kid and my kid to share cups.  "Oh, that's A.'s cup.  It's okay if if S. drinks out of it, right?" 

It feels presumptuous.  Especially when one of us is sitting two feet away with S.'s cup, so it's hard to even say it's for convenience's sake.  And since I almost always intercept my daughter and say, "Oh, that is so-and-so's cup, here is your cup!" 

Perhaps I have different feelings about how close I feel to these mom's vs. how close they feel to me.  Could it be that some of these mom's perceive cup-sharing as a bonding activity - sort of saying, "Oh we are sharing cups, so we must be all friends here."  Whereas I perceive it as something done after a bonding has occurred?  "If we were all very close friends here, we could share cups."

Huh.  Guess it's not a germ thing that bothers me after all.

That's kind of bizarre! No one I know actively encourages sharing cups when their own cup is right there!! LOL I do think that's kind of presumptuous, especially if you don't know them well/rarely see them. In our case, the sharing mostly happens either by accident (kid picked up the wrong cup before anyone noticed) or out of convenience -- so we're all on an outing & one ran out of water so the others share with her, or we all share a snack someone brought (using the same fork because there is only one), or we all taste the soup someone's making (would be silly to dirty 10 spoons just to taste) -- things like that. The rest of the time, everyone has their own cup... it's just like at home, we don't pour a communal glass of water for dinner, but if I just randomly poured myself a glass before bed & DH or DS wants a sip, I don't hesitate to give it to them.

I'd be inclined to hide my kid's cup if someone was doing what the mom on your playdates does lol

[jellybeanmumma]

The sharing sippy thing sounds a bit weird to me. I don't think that is really free ranging is it? I wouldn't be letting DS share with people we don't really know..

[cyclamen]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy 

That's kind of bizarre! No one I know actively encourages sharing cups when their own cup is right there!! LOL I do think that's kind of presumptuous, especially if you don't know them well/rarely see them. In our case, the sharing mostly happens either by accident (kid picked up the wrong cup before anyone noticed) or out of convenience -- so we're all on an outing & one ran out of water so the others share with her, or we all share a snack someone brought (using the same fork because there is only one), or we all taste the soup someone's making (would be silly to dirty 10 spoons just to taste) -- things like that. The rest of the time, everyone has their own cup... it's just like at home, we don't pour a communal glass of water for dinner, but if I just randomly poured myself a glass before bed & DH or DS wants a sip, I don't hesitate to give it to them.

I'd be inclined to hide my kid's cup if someone was doing what the mom on your playdates does lol

Yeah, I usually keep stuff packed up now, or I'll give DD's cup a quick wash.  I have no problem with passing snacks around... and the situation you described where everyone uses one spoon to taste doesn't bother me either, although I might decline.    These women are all extremely nice, and are friendly and sharing, but this one situation just weirds me out a little, lol. 

[Geist]

We were pretty anal about not letting DS drink from other people's cups and not letting other kids drink from his or him having other pacifiers in his mouth but mainly because we were trying to avoid contaminating his mouth with cavitiy causing bacteria. According to dental hygenists in Finland (where my husband is from), if you can keep your kids' mouths from being infected til they're three, the bacteria will never get a stronghold and they won't have cavities. My MIL did that with DH and he went several years rarely brushing his teeth  (BEFORE we met, I must emphasize!)  and only had two tiny cavities. We also kept him from eating from our same bowls or drinkign from our cups and never kissed him near his mouth. We still don't kiss near or on the mouth but we have shared drinking containers now, so who knows what the status of his mouth is.

[meetoo]

I'm a gremaphobe about some things. My kids do NOT share cups or food people have eaten off of, spoons people have eaten off of, etc. I'm not at all comfortable with that. It's gross to me so I don't allow it. 

Other than that I'm pretty relaxed. My kids run, climb, play outside alone(not the toddler), jump in puddles, make mud pies, build forts. I do make my older kids wear clothes now, but they were always naked as toddlers. I'm not a helicopter parent, my toddler navigates the play ground with me just watching for the most part. But sometimes yuck is yucky. lol. 

[marinak1977]

DS is definitely on the way to being free range. He is 11 months and goes in and out of his bed, up and down the stairs, and is allowed to touch almost everything in the house within reason. I let him eat off the floor (in my house) and share his food with the pups (they lick his face anyways). I do not panic if he splashes in the dog's water (although I do try to put it out of reach if I can) He also goes to a montessori daycare where he is expected to do a lot of things himself. He is definitely a "I do it" little man and DH and I are his spotters, there to catch him if he gets into trouble. I usually follow him up and down the stairs a few steps below if he needs help or will bail him out if we gets stuck between furniture and can't figure it out but he gets a shot at trying everything himself. Once the weather gets better I'm sure we'll be spending a lot more time outside exploring and I'm hoping to stick to our free range parenting style.

[peaceful_mama]

I need to be better about going outside in light rain, the snow, cold but not too cold.  It would help them a lot.  BUT a lot of times it really IS too cold here. (as in below zero, very windy, etc)  And I do have my newborn this year.  So we'll see.

I do have a thing about re-doing the bath water if somebody pees in it.

I do not have a problem with them playing in dirt.  Cup sharing is common among family, certain friends maybe but not with anyone we know is even a little sick.

They can, and do, pick their stuff up off the floor and eat it. 

On nudity---mine are being taught to be dressed because we have big windows and live in an apartment complex...the windows face right to where *EVERYONE* walks by.  They're also required to be clothed appropriately to their setting in public--swimsuits where appropriate, otherwise shirt, something on the bottom, and shoes.

[nkintzel]

hahaha! I love this thread!

I don't live in the country, but we live on a lake in the city and I would definitely call my kiddos free-ranging. My son (2.5) is nude as often as we'll let him be-which is whenever he wants as long as it isn't too chilly. Sometimes I pick him up and notice he's cold, so I make him at least put on a pair of sweats. DD (15 months) likes to be warm and snuggly and really doesn't want to be nude. So, ok. She wears clothes all the time.

I teach environmental education so I am very pro-dirt! :) I work for a Soil and Water Conservation District. In the summer time, when we garden, my kids constantly have dirt on their faces and around their mouths. Now...a word about dirt. One of the things that makes dirt amazing is that it has literally MILLIIONS of micro-organisms in it. Most of them are no big deal but soil does contain pin-worms. So, I do kind of discourage the actual EATING of dirt. Take a look at a teaspoon of it under a good microscope once and you might feel this way, too. Trust me! hahaha!

Anyway, this is a really fun thread. I love hearing about free-range kids. I'd never heard that term before either!

[always hope]

Sounds like a fairly normal childhood in New Zealand about a decade ago and I try to let my daughter do her own thing as much as possible. What I hate is other people telling me what she is doing as if I haven't noticed and will immediately rush to change something in the situation. It is amazing how little credit people give kids.