I just had my second daughter, she is almost 3 weeks old, and my first is almost 3. I am having a hard time! I miss my oldest, I miss cuddling her at night, and I miss having the energy to play during the day. The baby sleeps all day, but is awake at night, not crying, just awake! Which leaves me exhausted during the day, and on the brink of tears! I find myself looking forward to the future only, telling myself, it will be better when she is three months old, or six months, or even a year!! I know this time should be cherished, and I feel guilty for thinking this way! I feel that I miss what my life was, my three year old and I were always busy!! Now we don't go anywhere, and she seems very frustrated with me. I'm just so tired! I miss my partner too, he is trying so hard to work from home, and keep our oldest busy... Any suggestions on how to feel happy again? I need to smile and I need to laugh!!
And baby makes 4....
Could you have your partner take the baby for a couple of hours and get out with your oldest? That helped me re-bond with my oldest after my second was born. It helped her be more content as well. Usually we just went to the park (so if DD2 wanted to nurse I was a few minutes away) or to the grocery store but it was mommy/daughter time and it was what my daughter needed to feel like I still wanted/loved her.
I know how you feel. I didn't feel like I got to enjoy any of my children during their infancy due to multiple reasons: pregnancy, postpartum depression, and health of my children. Do you have somebody to talk to, any friends that could help you out? Read a lot of books with both of your children. The baby can nurse and you get to spend time with your older child. I hope things get better for you. My children now are 4, 3, and 2 and I feel really good about the time I get to spend with them. I wouldn't worry about how you should feel, but rather how you do feel.