And baby makes 4...

[onelovemomma]

I just had my second daughter, she is almost 3 weeks old, and my first is almost 3. I am having a hard time! I miss my oldest, I miss cuddling her at night, and I miss having the energy to play during the day. The baby sleeps all day, but is awake at night, not crying, just awake! Which leaves me exhausted during the day, and on the brink of tears! I find myself looking forward to the future only, telling myself, it will be better when she is three months old, or six months, or even a year!! I know this time should be cherished, and I feel guilty for thinking this way! I feel that I miss what my life was, my three year old and I were always busy!! Now we don't go anywhere, and she seems very frustrated with me. I'm just so tired! I miss my partner too, he is trying so hard to work from home, and keep our oldest busy... Any suggestions on how to feel happy again? I need to smile and I need to laugh!!

[alison77]

big hugs, mama, this transition can be such a difficult time!  is there anywhere you can grab a few extra hours of sleep - with DH watching baby, like early am, or afternoon?  make sure you are eating well, too, to maximize your energy.  when i was at this point, we would do very small outings where i did not have to be very active, like library, or bookstore (with train table), so we could get out a little.  it does get better, though, as schedules get more regular, and you get different ideas for how to achieve that quality time with baby in tow.  and it IS all worth it when you see how much they will love each other and play with each other in the years to come.  i also think that at times like these we need to lower our standards - reducing the time you are spending cooking and cleaning by simpler meals, etc., getting rid of all other time suckers and calling in any support that you have to help with the tasks that are left so that at this point you are able to focus on meeting your needs with your family.     

but if you are really feeling down, and things aren't changing, i would check in with your provider.  there are certain supplements that can help with depression (you can search through posts here in MH), and there are some of us who need a little more. 

good luck!

[onelovemomma]

Thanks for the time, and concern. The library sounds good, getting out I think will help a lot, tomorrow we are trying it! She slept great last night, and I woke up a much happier person! I have been doubling up on DHA supplements, that seems to help a little. Great tips, on sleep, cleaning, and cooking. And thanks for the inspiration of the future, I am so excited to watch them grow up together, it keeps me going during the day. Thanks again for the compassion, tips, understanding, and of course all the love, it put a great smile on my face, thank you truly!