this. when things were crazy bad after my 2nd child was born, when people offered advice what I heard them saying was that they didn't understand how bad things were, they didn't understand how many things I'd already tried, and they felt that if only I would do things *right*, it would be easy.
When you talk to her, practice active listening so she feels heard. Don't offer solutions. She's already heard them. She's already tried them.
IMHO, only offer suggestions if she ASKS for them.