Becoming my own person- with a backbone

[zebra15]

This is going to be dis-jointed at first and i will be coming back to update from time to time, I hope thats ok...

Let me start by saying the holidays are here and my toxic family is sending 'stuff'. This year I have a backbone and that 'stuff' is not even coming into the house (well some of it) and its going straight into the trash.  Today I even left part of it at the post office- YEAH ME.   Really sis, did you think I wouldn't notice the re-gifted wedding present from THREE years ago that has been re-taped?  I dont want/need a shi-hatsu neck massager.  Little did she know my ex had one of those and it just brings up awful memories.  Its in the trash, I couldnt even bring myself to donate the thing.  The popcorn factory stuff she sent was also trashed.  Sorry,  I just can't stand it.

The stuff she sent for DS... well the 'talking body book' is just a bit freaky.  DS is 10, homeschooled and quite advanced but still, really.  The $25 lego card was nice.

My mother is sending candy and food, Honestly anything sent from 'home' just makes my skin crawl and the best thing emotionally is to get rid of it ASAP.

After years of therapy I finally dont have a need to keep it, I dont feel guilty about tossing it.  They live 2k miles away and have no idea what I do with the stuff.   Yes adult person its ok to make your own decisions!

OY how the holidays are so complicated with feelings, and emotional baggage....

Again its not about the 'stuff' its about the emotions and MY BACKBONE that finally developed... yea me!

[doulawoman]

don't have a lot to say except I can understand about how "stuff" given from certain people can feel so gross...are you lookign for affirmation about being able to throw it out? Good for you for having boundaries! I received many gifts I liekd but didn;t hesitate to donate a bunch of stuff either.