Suggestions Please

[khaoskat]

Ok, right now we only receive services for Speech.  But we have a dx of Sensory Integration Issues (long of it short, our Dev. Ped made the dx, but the local places that do therapy have dismissed all our problems/concerns as normal developmental areas for a 5 year).  Oh, we also have a dx of anemia because his serum iron levels are only 27.

Ok, we are again having problems getting him to eat.  Meal times are starting to become a fight.  We have even given him the food he begs for.  He eats a bit or two and then claims he is done...and wants dessert (we no longer give it to him, unless he has eaten a decent meal).

We are also having more violent outbursts at home.  He will just start beating on his siblings when they don't do what he wants or give them what he wants.  We do put him in timeout (yes, I know redirection should be used, but frankly you cannot redirect him except to remove him from the area, so the reason we have him sit on the stair in a time out), but he usually just runs up to his room.  Any attempts at discipline of him result in him going and hiding (either trying to hide under blankets, bed, etc).  I do make him sit the time out when he comes out of hiding.

I think some of the problem is due to the fact, I just don't have the time to do lots of one on one right now, and my older 3 kids needs have been pushed to the side a bit by the needs of the baby who has some issues. 

But anyone have any suggestions on getting him back on track.  In all honesty I do spend a lot of time doing things for the baby (pumping every couple of hours; then having to nurse him as well; and then supplimental feeding; feeding of solids one or two times a day).  Not to mention all the normal daily things I have to do, since I am basically a single mom.

[Linda on the move]

I'm sorry for everything you are going through.

For my DD, who has intense sensory issues as part of her ASD dx, a good sensory diet is the key to sanity. The book the Out of Sync child was our bible when she was that age, and I used it to figure out what worked best for her.

With the number of kids you have, if you could figure out something that he could do with the others that would feel like play it might really help. This could really depend on the specifics of your situation -- what the weather is like where you live right now, whether or not you have a big open space like a basement that could be used for play, etc. If, for example, you could take your crew to a play ground for an hour, it could be really great. Swinging, jumping, sliding, etc are all good for sensory issues.

It also depends on your budget -- if you have some place where all the kids could take swimming or gymnastics, it could be wonderful for your little guy ( and your big kids could have fun too).

I know this doesn't sound like it directly addresses the food and discipline issues, but for my kid, it is what would help.

[Motivated Mama]

I don't have any suggestions, just a big :hug.  My DS (3) was finally recognized for his spd by someone other than myself (Child Development Services at his preschool).  I have a very difficult time feeding him good foods as well.  He doesn't like to eat, but he drinks a lot if I let him.  He drinks a lot of water at school too.  I think part of it is the act of eating is just not worth it for him, unless it's some sort of treat.  We can't even get him to sit at the breakfast table with the other kids at school because he is so distracted by everything else and pretty much NEVER eats breakfast.

As far as time outs, DS just laughs at me unless I separate him from the chaos.  He needs time to himself and he needs lots of one-on-one time.  He can't dress himself or use the potty by himself, but gets mad if you try to help.  It takes a lot of patience and I'm hoping to get something more from occupational therapy that is being recommended.

Perhaps you could have your son evaluated occupationally and maybe he'll get that one-on-one attention that he needs.  I work on DD1 and DD2 first so that I have plenty of time to deal with DSs needs.  He has started hitting his sisters too.

[Emmeline II]

I would consider having him evaluated for ADHD. Ds (now 6.6) had a lot of problems with being physical in school last year, but between his medication and cognitive behavioral therapy he has gotten a lot better. His greatest challenge now is impulse control in unstructured environments.

As for eating, I'd keep a lunchbox of bite size food just for him that he can access at will, but still have him sit with the family at dinner.