single mom and child care - Page 2

[Smithie]

Oh, you're not married to this guy? In that case, with things in his background that you think would keep him from pursuing custody - just leave. You don't need to stick around and build a case for family court. Tell him that if he doesn't fight for rights, you won't ask file for support and will give him visitation, and that will probably be it.

You might want to do a little research on the Net so you can give a ballpark figure on how much he'd owe in child support if you chose to pursue it. That information tends to have a chilling affect on men who don't support their kids financially and don't want to start.

[Zangua]

I am in a similar situation. I have an almost 9 month old. Until now her dad has been her primary care giver while I work as a midwife- so I also have odd hours.

He has been working through some major depression which has basically ruined our relationship and he has decided recently that he is leaving to go and work in Florida, where he lived before we were together. He is not offering child support (and the job he is taking in FL pays hardly anything). So I am scrambling to find care that is both affordable AND in line with my parenting style- which is so hard. I recently met with a single mom who used to be a nanny, but now she has a baby and wants to be with him all day, so she is offering her services for cheap if she can bring her babe along. So I am getting a nanny for half price, and a play mate for my baby. I feel like it's win win. It's still not cheap ($300 a week), but so much cheaper than a full time nanny and much more hands on/flexible than a daycare situation. I found her on a parenting list serve in my area....

Sending lots of light to you. I completely empathize with being pregnant and in a bad relationship. So hard.