5 week pregnant and so lost.

[fairygirl13]

I am pregnant with #3, well not 3rd pregnancy, but 3rd thats seeming to not M/C right away, i usually have a BFP, and with in a week start bleeding, so its been over a week and i feel confident about it.

the background on my 2 daughters: DD1-hyperemesis 6-14 weeks, emergency appendectomy at 16 weeks, resulting in hyperemesis returning, and pre-e at 30 weeks, hospitalized from 30-35, preterm induction due to pre-e, the big long word for low fluid, IUGR, and being almost to HELLP syndrome. induction, foley cath into cervix to manually dilate it to 3-4cm, then pit, AROM (fynatnal for pain, coulnt take it)  almost turned section (shock right?) but epidural made me "go rapid" i was at 6cm for 8 hours, which was a good reason to call it, so i got the epi and had to push almost instantly, pushed 26 min. DD was only in NICU for 4 nights!

DD2, hyperemesis bad enough to make me consider termination-dont judge, you have no clue how many "drugs" they had me on- then they put me on steroids, and it went away for about 4-5 weeks, then came back, resulting in pre-e, at 38 1/2 weeks, made it lots farther, and had induction. membrains stripped twice, didnt work, tried the herbs, i dont believe in castor oil so wouldnt try it, but i ended up on pit when my liver count hit 93. got through 12 hours of it with 1 dose of fyntnal for my back literally locking and not being able to move, screamed her out, cervical lip my ob held back, i pushed passed, and had her out in 10 min.

ok sorry this is so long, really i am, but i need to give facts to get good advice.

i am stuck. i really do trust and somewhat like my ob, he is still and ob and that fact alone bugs me, however he did recieve some training from hb midwives at some point, so he is a rare one. he wont do waterbirth.

i want a waterbirth, we have MMC (1 birth center) and 1 hospital that do them, the ooh bc (mmc) is 6 blocks away :) but the hospital is 45 min drive, no traffic, and i would be learning and hoping i click with a new care provider. I am also worried about risking out, just based on my history, hyperemesis is not exactly low risk, and as bad as i get im sure a midwife would not take me if i got it this time anyway, i have been doing a ton of prevention, most of which i found here on mothering.

DH and I have toured MMC recently, and he didnt really feel comfortable, and to be honest, last time i was in there i felt very judged, and i didnt like it. I did see MMC a few times with DD#2 and i also felt very judged, i am not sure why, but i did. DH felt that way on the tour, and he also didnt like either of the midwives, and they have 5 total.

i guess what i am asking for help with is the question of, do i stay with my OB? because he really did give me the best birth i could have had with DD#2 and saved my life and babies with DD#1, i do trust him. or do i go somewhere else because my heart is set on a waterbirth? and i know if i go to the hospital that does them, there is a whole tun of things that can risk me out of the water birth, and from what i have read, it seems to happen more often than not. only about 5% of their babies are born in the water, im not sure if thats because they are a hospital so most women have epis, or what, but 48% of MMC clients birth in water.

i just am lost. i know i have a long time to think about it, but i want to find my person, and if i dont like the midwifes there, im "stuck".

also, is location, or trust in the care provider more important? i know a lot of women who UC and think location is, but i really cant wrap my mind around that one.

and hb is not and option, we live in the same house with my parents, and they are not ok with it FOR ME. my mom actually sat me down and told me (while i was not pregnant and only TTC) that she had nothing against women giving birth at home, in the woods, where ever, as long as they were healthy. she continued to tell me, that if my first two were different, she might have different thoughts, but she was faced with losing a daughter and grand daughter with DD1, and was worried about DD1 ending up with no mom and all of the above with DD2. and she just said as MY mother, she doesnt like the idea of ME being out of a hospital. normally i would not care what others think, but i can see her points as well.

sorry that was so long, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[imogenlily]

DDC crashing. I have hyper-e too - I've been in and out of the hospital a handful of times by 16 weeks. My midwives are still okay keeping me on, although maybe it's different in Canada.

I think trust in care provider is more important than location, but I am also not anticipating a complicated delivery. I *think* I will have time between when labour starts to anticipate and get to where I need to be in time.

If I were you, I might base my decision in part on whether pre-e, HELLP, or low fluid are likely to recur (I know low fluid can be related to hyperemesis, but hyper-e is more common in first pregnancies.)

Could you make your decision about care provider after you figure out if the hyperemesis is going to recur? I didn't choose a care provider until 12 weeks. How realistic would switching care providers be if you didn't like the midwives?