Originally Posted by waiting2bemommy
I guess I'm just terrified that she will begin to care for ds like I do and then start to pester her cousin to see ds, spend time with him, etc.
Which I do not want. It would not be good for ds but would just confuse him. I mean if ex was going to be a good dad, ok fine, but at this point in ds life for him to just pop up and start being involved would really shake things up and I frankly don't think it would last.
Does that make any sense or does it sound totally selfish and ridiculous?
Nope. It makes you sound like a good, concerned mama.I would think long and hard about allowing this person in your ds's life unsupervised by you.
There are members of ex's family that are involved in ds's life and I wouldn't change it for the world. Ex's grandparents are wonderful people and have been absolutely wonderful to me, even when ex and I were breaking up (and he was telling the whole family that I kidnapped ds and wouldn't let him see him or wouldn't tell him where ds was, etc). They have sent ds cards/gifts on every single holiday and birthday. I keep up with them through emails and facebook. They live in Tennessee so anytime we drive through we try to meet them so they can see ds. They actually just sent dp and I a card with some money for our wedding. That is how sweet they are.
And then there are members of ex's family that I wish would just disappear. Ex's sister is around, on and off, at her convenience. In October when she saw ds (supervised by me, even!) she was filling ds's head with all sorts of ideas that, quite frankly, were none of her business. She could have talked to ds about anything in the world, but she chose to talk to him about ex. She doesn't get that the whole situation IS. NOT. HER. BUSINESS. I do not have to let her see ds when ex is being a flake and not showing up for visits. But I do because I don't really want to cut any of the family out of ds's life (ex's sister has 2 kids that ds does enjoy playing with). But after October I made it very clear to her that she needs to cut it off, or I will cut her out.