I've had some things come up that are causing problems with family, both h and in laws. Maybe life in general. I babywear, nurse on demand, ect. I also can't lay my 3.5 month old down to sleep by herself and she's never had a bottle. We're trying to repair our relationship with h's family, but mil wants to watch the kids. She says she has plenty of baby stuff, just leave pumped milk, diapers and go. She has 6 other grandbabies (all raised hands off) and I'm not comfortable leaving my baby. I think my dd will be forced to cio and put on a 2 hour feeding schedule, not to mention the messed up sleep. Because of that h is mad and says I don't want to try and its my fault things aren't working out.
The back story is dd has reflux and both dd and ds have food intolerances. I'm depressed, the house is a mess, I can hardly eat more than two foods if I want to get sleep and have a comfortable baby. Mil wants to help. I think she's truly concerned about my well being, but I also feel like I am being judged for my ap parenting (She made the comment that I can't keep the baby in a cocoon or I should go lay her down in another room.) She also says my posting on facebook hurts her feelings and she expects me to go to her large family parties and to socialize. She got onto me for hiding in the kids play room. I hate large crowds and kinda freak out. Seriously the 13 kids were too much! She also thinks I should just leave my 3 y/o with 12 other kids he's not use to without any adult supervision (if anything I can ask a 6 y/o to help watch). <Sigh> I'm overwhelmed and feel like I have to give up my parenting and what makes me comfortable to please her and to have a family. I need an outside perspective. Am I too protective? Is AP ruining my families life? Any other ideas? I could go on and on, but if you made it this far through my rambling, thank you! I know it makes little sense and I usually convey my ideas better in writing, but even after a night I'm still a little upset and can't think.
Here's the worse part: I just want to run away and avoid all of it