10 month old refusing to nap

[Dootsmama]

My 10 month old hit a point a few weeks ago where he was having trouble napping. I knew he wasn't feeling well, and had a lot of developmental changes occurring. I started helping him out by walking with him, bouncing and humming. Now even that isn't helping much. I pace with him for a good 30 or 40 minutes and sometimes even then he isn't asleep. I've never been on board with letting him
cry it out. He has reflux and when he gets really upset he throws up. That aside - it seems mean. We cosleep at night but he has always napped in his crib in his own room.

I'm EXHAUSTED because now I'm not even getting the little breaks his naps used to bring. He has never been a good napper - 45 minutes is the norm. Now he is exhausted too. I tried to let him cry it out some but then he ends up screaming bloody murder and not napping and falls asleep when he nurses - and that's bound to introduce a sleep crutch. Currently he sleeps about 9 hours at night. I think we do get him to bed later than we should and am attempting to make the bed time earlier. It's so difficult with the husband getting home so late, and then our dinner is late, and I have to fit a shower in there in the evenings as well.

I know shifting the whole schedule earlier will help some of things - baby wants to eat with us, but we eat so late that I can't let him (reflux and then nursing schedule issues too). 

Is there anything I can try?

[LyndsayMW]

Ugh, my 10 month old isn't napping/sleeping very well either. I feel your pain, sister. My little one wants to practice crawling and pulling up, so when it is nap time we go lay down together but he constantly gets up and crawls away (we have a family bed). I do nurse him to sleep, though.  I figure that we can deal with the consequences of that later -  when we can talk through it. For now, I am going with the path of least resistance.

The thing that seems to be working for us is a ton of repetition. I lay him back down and tell him "Time to sleep now! Night night!" If he cries when I do that, I pick him up and we bounce on the exercise ball for a few minutes, then we go back to laying down. We have a glow-seahorse thing, but I sort of think that it is useless - he mostly flings it around. I really think he just wants to practice practice practice his new skills.

So, I guess what I am saying is that I don't have any real solutions that are actually working consistently every time. It must just be a rough patch for sleep for our boys - but it is nice to know that we aren't the only ones!

[journeymom]

Currently he sleeps about 9 hours at night. I think we do get him to bed later than we should and am attempting to make the bed time earlier. It's so difficult with the husband getting home so late, and then our dinner is late, and I have to fit a shower in there in the evenings as well.

I know shifting the whole schedule earlier will help some of things - baby wants to eat with us, but we eat so late that I can't let him (reflux and then nursing schedule issues too).

He definitely needs more sleep, 11 to 12 hours a night.  Sleep begets sleep, they say. I know it's hard when dad doesn't get home early enough to spend more time with him.  But you don't want your ds and you to suffer needlessly, either.  Sleep is sooo important for his development and your mental health.  So, yes, definitely get him to be earlier.   Remember that this phase is temporary and soon enough you'll have more time together, when he's able to be awake longer. 

It occurres to me that when mine were that age I had a tendency to want to wait until dh got home simply because it bugged me that dh was "getting away" with not participating in any of the daily challenge that was our routine.  I needed to share that burden.  And it wasn't entirely logical, either, because it only benefited me to get baby to sleep earlier, it meant more down time in the evening.

But I wasn't making a conscious decision to do this.  I have no idea if this is familiar to you at all!   It was probably just my funny issue. 

[Dootsmama]

You're very correct Lyndsay it is nice to know we aren't the only ones.

My boy is going through alot of developmental stuff now too, and teething. Plus he could have gotten the 9 month growth spurt in there as well. I managed to get him to bed nice and early last night to help make up for the missed naps.

[ellairiesmom]

Originally Posted by LyndsayMW 

Ugh, my 10 month old isn't napping/sleeping very well either. I feel your pain, sister. My little one wants to practice crawling and pulling up, so when it is nap time we go lay down together but he constantly gets up and crawls away (we have a family bed). I do nurse him to sleep, though.  I figure that we can deal with the consequences of that later -  when we can talk through it. For now, I am going with the path of least resistance.

Yup.  I so feel everyone's pain.  This one constantly flips herself over, pushes herself up & crawls all over...we'll be nursing, laying down, & I'll think she's almost out, & then boom...she's flipping over & doing it all over again & we have to start over.  We have also noticed that until we are all in bed, she is waking up every hour.  Once we are all in bed for the night, she gives me 3 hours or so, nurses for 5 mins, then back to sleep.  LITTLE STINKER!!!

DD2 is almost 11 mos...she went from putting herself to sleep at 3 mos, to falling asleep nursing but letting us put her in the crib in our room to nap, to refusing to nap in the crib, but napping in the bed a few months ago to not napping at all unless on the boppy while nursing or in the car.  For the 1st time (since early on/newborn) this past week, she fell asleep in DHs arms sitting on the couch.  (this is the same baby that refuses to take a bottle of pumped milk & pretty much won't let me be away from her)

I've been so frustrated lately that I will try & time it so that we are in the car doing something around a nap time because that always does the trick.  I am also contemplating having DH get the baby swing down from the attic & trying that again.  

I will also admit-out of frustration trying to put her down for the night (esp lately with trying to get presents wrapped & projects finished for Christmas) I have brought her back out to the living room, we turn down all lights, nurse her to sleep on the boppy, let her lay there awhile until in a deep, deep sleep & then transfer her to our bed.  We have had some success with that recently-not every time of course...and if so, I'll get an hour before I have to lay down with her.  But at least DH & I get to sit on the couch & watch something together (we like to watch tv together at night so it's imp for us).

I can see such a difference in this one's personality in general...she's insane-like a hurricane coming through & into everything.  So I think it could be part personality & then part "developmental excitement".  

DD1 had different sleep issues & was up every 2 hours nursing until she turned 2.  I am glad to report that at 3, she now sleeps through the night, in her own bed & room.  I keep telling myself this is not forever.

[Tattooed Hand]

We started having trouble with DD napping at 8-9 months and the only thing that saved us was putting her to bed early, like between 6-7pm. This way, I know she'll get a solid 11-12 hours of sleep, even if she only has crappy 30-60 minute nap.

Before that she had gone to bed around 9ish and slept until 6, but slept 3-4 hours during the day.

It meant my free time came in the early evening, instead of those breaks twice a day.

[Unlikely Mama]

I just want to second the early bedtime idea. We live on the early bedtime (usually by 5:30pm) because of DD's (9 mos) crap naps. Today, for example, she refused her second nap altogether and so I had her asleep at 5:10 pm. Not convenient for spending time with dad, but it isn't a pretty sight when she's totally exhausted. Not exactly "quality time"!