Spectrum or just my kid?? - Page 2

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by RachelHart 

There's so much focus on what's wrong with kids, what deficiencies they have, what it may or may not be a predecessor for. To tell you the truth, children today are coming in with unique strengths and interests and focuses but as with an extreme strength or interest there is going to be some, maybe many, things that they are not very good at or interested in and that's okay. I would like to see less focus on diagnoses and deficiencies, on defining children by the number of letters you can tag them with (ADD, ADHD, SPD, ASD, and on and on), and more focus on discovering what their strengths are, what their interests and focuses are. There are certainly neurological disruptions and deficiencies in children now due to the amount of neurotoxins they encounter in utero and in childhood through a myriad of sources, vaccines certainly being a major contributor, and so the focus should not be on attributing their differences and deficiencies to their character and personality but to strengthening and detoxing their bodies and supporting their own individual genius.

I am perfectly aware of my son's strengths and interests. That did not prevent him from physically hurting classmates and his teacher, tearing up classmates work, damaging teacher and school property, and having hour long tantrums. His former school's lack of desire to "focus on diagnoses" led to us delay in seeking a diagnosis, their inappropriate expectations, useless behavioral modification techniques, and their view that ds' problems were due to deficiencies in his character or ours. Despite ds' "genius," he still needs to learn to control his impulses, navigate social relationships, and sit still long enough to learn the skills he will need to take advantage of the opportunities that his school offers--one we chose based on his particular interests.

This is a special needs board where we talk about our childrens' special needs--this doesn't mean that their "tags" are a singular lens through which we view our children. Lollybrat explains it well.

Edited by Emmeline II - 12/29/10 at 11:12am

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

Please keep the forum guidelines in mind when posting, specifically:

Parenting the special needs child comes with many rewards and challenges that are unique to each family. This forum is a place to discuss these issues with like-minded members. The forum is open to all members and we encourage everyone to share and join in the discussions. Though in doing so, please be respectful of the forums purpose and the feelings of all our members.

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

Rachel-
Welcome to the Special Needs Parenting Forum! This is a great place to find support and information from parents who are in similar situation.

I have three sons. They are each such individuals, I often am shocked that they all came from dh and I!

Ds3 is neurotypical. He's a math wiz and struggles with reading. He's our social butterfly and our athlete. His smile lights up a room. He is recieving help in reading and support in math to help him reach his goals.

Ds2 is gifted with a learning disability. He has so much information in his head, but was so frustrated because he couldn't get it down on paper. It was so hard for him to feel like he was failing when he had all the answers and amazing ideas. He now gets special help in order to support his strengths and to address his weaknesses. His self confidence has grown in leaps and bounds! It's amazing to see him smile and come home from school with 100s. He is our musician. He also has one of the quickest wits that I've seen, in adults and children! He's my loner and nature explorer.

Ds1 is on the spectfum. He's a straight A student. He is mainstreamed for all his core classes but has a special ed teacher in the room with him and the other students from his special ed team. Everyday they work on behavioral skills and anger management skills. He is so happy in this class! Last year I had to pick him up from school because he was so out of control. I could hardly get him to the car. He ended up sobbng on the way home, saying he hated himself. He was afraid he was going to hurt someone. He cried and cried that he needed help. This was the moment of realization that although we were doing everything possible to keep him off medication, he was in a place where he was self destructive and could not control it. And it hurt his heart and ours to see him struggle that way. And we knew at that moment that keeping him off meds was gong to do significant damage to his psyche. He is also the most empathetic child I've ever seen. He's on student council. He ran specifically for his special ed team because he thought they weren't be represented. He's in the communtiy service group. He plays the viola in the orchestra. He is enthusiastic about life and learning.

All my children are on a gluten, dairy, casien, egg free diet, because all all tested sensitive to those things. Ds 1 has gone through and is going through chelation because he is high in lead and mercury. We eat mostly organic clean food. They are on supplements to support their sytems. They play outside and swim. In general, we've done many things you've suggested, not just for our child on the spectrum, but for all our children.

Neurotypical or not, our job as parents is to support our children's strengths and to help them with their weaknesses so that they can become the adults that they wish to be. If we were to simply ignore our child's weaknesses, we would be doing them a diservice.

[beachcomber]

Originally Posted by Lollybrat 

It sounds like a motor planning issue. My son has motor planning problems, called Dyspraxia or Developmental Coordination Disorder. For my son, it is a part of his ASD, but iti is possible to have dypraxia without being on the autism spectrum. For my son, it affects all motor skills: gross motor, fine motor, and oral-motor.

He had to work hard to teach DS how to copy other people's motor actions. And then it takes him a long time to learn how to corodinate his body parts to perform motor tasks. OT ans swimming both help a lot.

I concur with this poster's suggestions of OT and swimming. My DD has definitely got dyspraxia as part of her ASD. We had already figured that part out prior to the Autism assessment. She has trouble getting messages from her brain to her limbs and crossing the midline with her hands. As in, she'll use her left hand for a task on the left side of her body and her right hand for a task on the right side. It's why she had never chosene a preferred hand even at 4 years. We started her in OT this spring and after 6 months I can tell you it was worth every minute and every penny. Suddenly she's got much better gross coordination. She can do things she couldn't before including hopping, walking heel to toe in a line, etc.She also swims once a week and we have her in a specialized class that's like Aquacize for kids that focuses on core strength and balance. The OT suggested that she may be ready for some type of martial arts or dance at age 6 but only if taught by someone familiar with Autism. Your son may be similar.

I agree that going to some OT now may help him and you figure out what will be best for him in the long term for activities.