Since I have a 2 1/2 week break off for Christmas and live 5 hours from my son's grandparents & 10 hours from his aunts, I decided that we would spend most of our break other than about 3 days visiting where I grew up (9 days where I grew up & 3 days where we used live for the past 7 years until we moved). We're only to our 4th day in and my dad & his wife driving me up the wall already. Next year I'm considering only coming for like the 23rd through the 26th or so, but then there goes my son's time with his aunt and grandparents.
Every since my son was born I've been dealing with negative comments regarding the way I parent. It used to be things like I'll sufficate my son if we co-sleep, my boob will sufficate my son if we co-sleep & nurse, I need to cover if we are going to nurse in public or leave if I don't want to cover, he needs to be fed solids, he needs to take a bottle when we had tried many times and he just wouldn't, he needs to be circumsized, he can't self-feed, etc. Now it's changed into the following ....my dad's wife gives me a dirty look and walks away if my son needs to nurse (she hasn't said anything yet, but I don't think she realized he still nurses until now), just put him in the highchair and let him cry it out so he'll get used to the highchair, he doesn't have any socks on .... so he's going to be cold, he's going to get ear infection if he doesn't have a hat on, he needs to eat his food, he needs to drink cow's milk not rice milk, he needs to be quiet when he wakes up in the morning
I never here any positives such as ... he's good at sharing, good at feeling himself even with utensils, he's cute, he has so many words, he's advanced in his development, he's so healthy, he's good at telling me when it's bedtime (he leads me to the bed when he's tired), he's a good helper. There's tons of positives, but all I get told are negative comments, and it gets old.
I'm seriously considering only visiting for 3-4 days for Christmas, and maybe even saving money to stay at a hotel versus staying at my dad's during tha time. Maybe visiting for a few hours a day would help to balance things out so it isn't such a negative experience. Then I worry that my son will miss out on essential time with his aunt though because his aunt stays at my dad's also. Finding balance is hard, but I guess if it's a negative visit then that's not doing any good anyway. My oldest sister has a 6 year old daughter and 3 foster children. They've stopped traveling to my dad's to visit because my dad treats them like crap too.
What would you do? Would you consider a 3-4 day visit next year will possibly staying in a hotel? Any other suggestions? How do you deal with all these negative comments because you parent different than your parernts did? In my case my dad didn't really do much parenting of us because he worked full-time as a teacher and then would have to farm in the evenings/weekends. So he really wasn't around a lot when we were infants/toddlers.