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tween article from Mothering a few years back - Page 2

post #21 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by LessTraveledBy View Post

Interesting topic. (BTW, does anyone have any links to what is supposed to cause going into puberty early? I would really like to avoid that...)

 

I am not in the US but we do get all your junk here. (You know, tv shows and all that.) When I taught 8-year-olds some years back, they were all very  much "just kids." However, there minds were trying to deal with very adult things, due to the tv shows their parents were letting them watch.

 

Our neighbor just told me that their 9 year old did not ask for any toys for Christmas. Apparently, the message from peers is that it is not cool. I think out soon to be 6 yo is way younger than her peers in some things and way older in some. We are homeschoolers and don't really watch tv, so she is not affected quite the same way.


 

This website has some possible causes.  Genetics is what causes it in our family but on rare occasions it can also be caused by health problems.  There was some research a while back about food causing it but from what I remember it was found that if food does cause it that is because we have less starvation due to the availability of food and our bodies can mature early.

 

http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/puberty.htm

post #22 of 48
Thread Starter 



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerchild View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by velochic View Post

FTR - my dd will be 9 soon and she shows not one single sign of entering puberty.  She is still VERY much a child.  She knows the name of popular "tween" trends (although she still thinks his name is Justin Beaver, lol) from her friends at school, but she is absolutely not interested in them.  She still likes Curious George and other PBS programs and has never seen any Disney or played video games. Then again, we don't have media influence in our home like many do.  I'm planning to let her be a child as long as she needs to be.  I won't let a label or the marketing companies grow her up any faster than she will on her own.


Disney and video games don't cause puberty.  :(

 

And even if your 9 year old had little breasts, like my does, it doesn't mean that she isn't still a sweet girl.  Nor does it mean that she doesn't like PBS (though if we're talking marketing, I don't think PBS is a saint in that regard)--mine does.  My daughter likes to climb trees, still digs in the sand at school, ect.

 

None of that would have kept the boobs and hormones away.  That is in her genes, and I love that part of her too.  I don't consider it a badge of honor OR a mark of shame that she entered puberty when she did--it's just her.  :(
 



I'm the OP and I certainly don't object to nine year old girsl getting breasts or blame their parents.  My dd just turned 8 and s not getting them and neither is her friend who is about to turn nine. But her friend has decided toys are not cool and ipods are. I think that has nothing to do with puberty or being 8.. That is what you are exposed to.

I got breasts at ten or eleven.  I wasn't ready to be done playing with toys but I was very much pressured to do so.  I think that is what's happening with this tween label--little girls are being rushed to grow up in a way that has nothing to do with their bodies.

post #23 of 48

I always cringe when I read comments that sound negative or frightened about girls entering puberty.  This is just something that happens, and thinking that we can control it with the right foods, the right lifestyle, the right books or movies, is a shame.  Most of us here are extremely careful in our parenting/lifestyle choices, and we see our daughters entering puberty when their bodies are ready.  I would hate to give a negative message about this to our daughters.

 

My 12 y/o is a "tween", and not because she was marketed to.  It really does describe where she's at right now.  And FWIW, she loves dolls, is extremely athletic and outdoors oriented, watches TV/movies, but doesn't imitate the negative stereotypes, still plays-etc.  She is also increasingly mature, and definitely has a toe in the world of older kids.  She's level headed and lovely, and frustratingly stubborn and hormonal at times. She is really "in between" two worlds right now. I feel it would be inaccurate and disrespectful to suggest that she's not in this "tween" phase.  She would hate it if I insisted on calling it puberty, although this is a term she's pretty familiar with.

 

Within her friends, some started physical changes around 8 or 9, most at 10, but 12 is definitely a different experience-I think as a pp said, because there are hormonal changes happening.  

post #24 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerchild View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by velochic View Post

FTR - my dd will be 9 soon and she shows not one single sign of entering puberty.  She is still VERY much a child.  She knows the name of popular "tween" trends (although she still thinks his name is Justin Beaver, lol) from her friends at school, but she is absolutely not interested in them.  She still likes Curious George and other PBS programs and has never seen any Disney or played video games. Then again, we don't have media influence in our home like many do.  I'm planning to let her be a child as long as she needs to be.  I won't let a label or the marketing companies grow her up any faster than she will on her own.


Disney and video games don't cause puberty.  :(

 

And even if your 9 year old had little breasts, like my does, it doesn't mean that she isn't still a sweet girl.  Nor does it mean that she doesn't like PBS (though if we're talking marketing, I don't think PBS is a saint in that regard)--mine does.  My daughter likes to climb trees, still digs in the sand at school, ect.

 

None of that would have kept the boobs and hormones away.  That is in her genes, and I love that part of her too.  I don't consider it a badge of honor OR a mark of shame that she entered puberty when she did--it's just her.  :(
 

 

And I didn't imply that they did.  The point I was making is that Disney and ilk try to grow up our children, not physically, but emotionally and socially, far too quickly because it makes them money.  Obviously, puberty is a physical change that brings about some emotional and social changes.  But just because an 8 or 9 year old has become a woman physically, it doesn't mean they are ready to embark all on things that are associated with womanhood.  My niece had precocious puberty, but in spite of having a monthly cycle, she was still VERY much a child.  They don't go hand-in-hand.  Just because a girl is developing breasts doesn't mean that she is ready to meet the world of dating, boys, cliques, crushes, popularity contests, back-biting, gossiping, and all the other "tween traits" that Disney exposes that age set to.  A girl that is developing breasts doesn't have to conform to the trappings of what "tween" represents.

 

ETA:  What their marketing research has found is that the Disney Princesses are great money makers for the 3 -7 yo set.  Then they don't know what to do with the 8, 9, 10, 11 year olds.  They're too old for the Princesses, but really, emotionally too young for the Hana Montana.  So... voila... move them into the Hana Montana set earlier.  More time to make money.
 


Edited by velochic - 12/26/10 at 2:03pm
post #25 of 48

Well, nobody is ready for back-biting, gossip, and cliques.  And hormones cause, in addition to physical maturing, crushes, interest in boys (or girls) and dating.  They don't necessarily go exactly hand in hand.  I didn't start being interested in boys until more like 14, despite having started my period a year or two earlier.  But certainly at least some girls who started their periods at 8 or 9 are going to be interested in boys during those "tween" years, and just naturally so, not because of Disney.

post #26 of 48

When I think of influences that could be challenging during the tween years, honestly, Disney products wouldn't really be a big concern.  I can appreciate that a family might want to avoid them, but within a healthy family I think media influences can be put into appropriate context.


Edited by karne - 12/26/10 at 2:44pm
post #27 of 48

Well, I was using Disney as an example of what is hundreds of subtle influences that grow up our children more quickly these days.  It really is everywhere.  A little bit here and there isn't probably going to do much and I definitely think that a child's home life is the most important factor.  However it seems to have a cumulative effect.  Before you know it, your 10 year old daughter is acting more like she's 17.  I've seen it over and again with the kids I've watched growing up that are regular patrons at the library where I work.  We have one girl who is 9 that we have to constantly remind to keep her pants pulled up because she wears these thong underwear and low-rise jeans.  I doubt she's mature enough to really understand the implications of what she is doing but the social influences don't come with instructions or a list of consequences.  But the "excuse" is, "Oh, just your typical 'tween'." shake.gif  Typical for "tween", but is it typical for a 9 year old?  I don't think so.  The term permits a child to act like a teen when they are neither emotionally or socially ready to be a teen.  JMO and I'm fine with people not agreeing.  (I always like to hear the other side.)  But I stand by that opinion.

post #28 of 48

With respect, perhaps the people who state over and over that their child shows absolutely no indications of puberty perhaps haven't had the opportunity to personally guide their kid through (or aren't in the process of figuring out how to do so themselves--it's a hell of a lot harder than I thought it would be) the very confusing time where a child who is still very much a girl also must struggle with impulses that are the beginnings of adulthood as well.  I'm sure you can shame and suppress those thoughts/impulses, but...I don't think anyone here would *want* to do that.

 

I think that's where there is a disconnect, between people who primarily see a label as marketing, and those of us who (while we may not care about the specific label) don't mind there being a name for that delicate inbetween stage.  How one "permits" their children to act has nothing to do with the label, and everything to do with parenting.

 

My kid *is* starting to notice some new sexual aspects of her being.  Not all the time, just in fits and starts.  I feel like I must walk on eggshells as it is, gently guiding her about our family/religious moral/ethical standards but not wishing to embarass or misinform her or crush that delightful part of her.  She *does* have to deal with new (at least to her) surges in intense emotion/crushes (that right now rarely have anything to do with sexuality) that she did not really have before.  She has to deal with her body changing--the boobs are a kind of fun minor annoyance for her--what has been difficult is the slow shift in center of gravity, her starting to develop more of a "shape" than her beanpole self, and her huge huge huge growth spurt (5 inches and counting over the last year) along with the aches and pains and unheard of (for her, naturally graceful and balanced) clumsiness.  She has noticed that there are some little girl styles that she can't wear comfortably anymore (and not for modesty reasons, it's just uncomfortable).

 

I agree in the hands of marketers they can take that inbetween stage and prey on the insecurities/changes/new fangled stuff--but it's about more than that.

 

I wish I was less shocked over and over about the hostile tone towards puberty that I see on MDC.  Then again, before I was sensitized to it due to my DD, I probably contributed to it, after all, since I was AP, limited TV, fed my kids good stuff and not SAD, we weren't going to have problems like that, after all.

post #29 of 48

Tigerchild, you make a lot of sense.  I've been reading this thread with interest, not because we're at that stage (DD is only three) but because I was an early developer.  Got breasts early, got my period early, got interested in boys early.  This was in the 80s, so marketing wasn't quite at the level it is now, but my friends and I did love watching John Hughes movies (16 candles, Pretty in Pink, etc.), buying Wet n' Wild makeup, talking about boys and having "boyfriends", as early as around 4th or 5th grade, I believe.  We also still loved our dolls, stuffed animals, riding bikes around town, playing chase on the playground, etc.  I think all of this is normal - we really were between to worlds.

 

I feel like I'm reading a bit of pride from some on MDC that their DD isn't into anything like that yet, still plays with all her toys, isn't interested in "romantic" stuff, and hasn't entered puberty.  To me, that reads like one way of being is preferable to another, when really, either way is just the way we are.  Sure, there are influences from media and friends, but our body is really driving so much of what's happening during this age period. 


Developing early wasn't easy, and I'm glad my mom didn't make me feel like there was something wrong with me, or that being another, more child-like way would be preferable to the way I just was.

post #30 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerchild View Post

With respect, perhaps the people who state over and over that their child shows absolutely no indications of puberty perhaps haven't had the opportunity to personally guide their kid through (or aren't in the process of figuring out how to do so themselves--it's a hell of a lot harder than I thought it would be) the very confusing time where a child who is still very much a girl also must struggle with impulses that are the beginnings of adulthood as well.


I am "the people" you're speaking of, however, I've helped/am helping 2 generations of girls navigate puberty, so if you think I don't know what I'm talking about, I assure you that I have the experience (twice over) and am speaking from that experience.  I was the "go-to" next-door aunt when my nieces were going through puberty in the 80s and now their kids are going through puberty (one with precocious puberty) and I've been on-hand for them as well.  My dd is younger, so I'll be going through this a third time soon, I expect.  With respect... I am not randomly forming my opinions.  They are rooted in personal truths and keen observation that I'm using to make my dd's journey the easiest possible.  Perhaps you don't understand because you're just starting the journey.  And just because I'm "old" by MDC standards, doesn't mean I don't remember my own adolescence.

post #31 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerchild View Post

With respect, perhaps the people who state over and over that their child shows absolutely no indications of puberty perhaps haven't had the opportunity to personally guide their kid through (or aren't in the process of figuring out how to do so themselves--it's a hell of a lot harder than I thought it would be) the very confusing time where a child who is still very much a girl also must struggle with impulses that are the beginnings of adulthood as well.  I'm sure you can shame and suppress those thoughts/impulses, but...I don't think anyone here would *want* to do that.

 

I think that's where there is a disconnect, between people who primarily see a label as marketing, and those of us who (while we may not care about the specific label) don't mind there being a name for that delicate inbetween stage.  How one "permits" their children to act has nothing to do with the label, and everything to do with parenting.

 

 

I wish I was less shocked over and over about the hostile tone towards puberty that I see on MDC.  Then again, before I was sensitized to it due to my DD, I probably contributed to it, after all, since I was AP, limited TV, fed my kids good stuff and not SAD, we weren't going to have problems like that, after all.



I agree with this.  Helping my child go through puberty is much different from working with children and teens in the middle of puberty or even from being a child who went through puberty.  I remember my struggles when I went through early puberty, the feelings of isolation, and the ups and downs that seemed so uncontrollable.  That remembering doesn't tell me how to help my child deal with these things, especially since her experience is very different form mine in many ways because we are very different in our personalities.  Even when I can understand her feelings I still have to figure out how to guide her as her parent and my memories of going through puberty don't give me a lot to go off of. 

 

I also am saddened, but not surprised, that so many people view puberty as a problem or disease to be prevented on MDC.  I think a label helps to make this a more acceptable time even if it did come from an advertising campaign.  I think it is time we moved out of the dark ages where puberty was considered a shameful thing, especially if it happened early, and move onto accepting and labeling what is going on openly and proudly.  I don't think that we have to push kids to grow up by doing that, in fact my dd is much less mature about the world than I was despite having a much more open and pleasant experience, I think it just means we are acknowledging that things are changing.  A title makes it something to be proud of whereas ignoring it or treating it like a disease makes it something to be dreaded so I am going with the title.

post #32 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by velochic View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerchild View Post

With respect, perhaps the people who state over and over that their child shows absolutely no indications of puberty perhaps haven't had the opportunity to personally guide their kid through (or aren't in the process of figuring out how to do so themselves--it's a hell of a lot harder than I thought it would be) the very confusing time where a child who is still very much a girl also must struggle with impulses that are the beginnings of adulthood as well.


I am "the people" you're speaking of, however, I've helped/am helping 2 generations of girls navigate puberty, so if you think I don't know what I'm talking about, I assure you that I have the experience (twice over) and am speaking from that experience.  I was the "go-to" next-door aunt when my nieces were going through puberty in the 80s and now their kids are going through puberty (one with precocious puberty) and I've been on-hand for them as well.  My dd is younger, so I'll be going through this a third time soon, I expect.  With respect... I am not randomly forming my opinions.  They are rooted in personal truths and keen observation that I'm using to make my dd's journey the easiest possible.  Perhaps you don't understand because you're just starting the journey.  And just because I'm "old" by MDC standards, doesn't mean I don't remember my own adolescence.



No, actually, I don't consider you one of "those people".  But I do see people constantly here talking about how proud they are that they won't have their little girls growing up because they're keeping them away from plastic, non-organic food, marketing, ect.  Over and over and over again.  Most of the time when people do this, I look at their sig and see that they have very young children.  Making puberty a freak show seems to have become the latest scare tactic du jour in the progressive/AP parenting and activist community--my email box is flooded with crap from organizations I have belonged to for years with scary titles like "OMG 8 year olds going through puberty because they're fat and wrapped in plastic".  I'm sure that it was there before, but as I acknowledged in my other post, until they were talking about MY kid (who is neither) it went over my head.  The media is contantly blaring stories about how puberty is bad, especially for girls.  I find it heartbreaking that the same groups screaming that also turn around and then say, "But how come girls have their self-esteem in the toilet? Why are girls desperately trying to diet at 8?"  Well, gee, I wonder.

 

FWIW, I have been involved with teen and middle school youth groups since I was in my early 20s, ect.  In my experience, it is different when it's your own kid--at least it has been for me.  WIth those other kids, and some of my younger cousins though, it was not in my face 24/7.  Because I was not the parent, I also didn't have to deal with my friends making horrific comments about my child in front of me, I didn't have to see people treat my child like she was the boobie leper that was going to turn their kids into sluts, since I wasn't buying clothing for them on a regular basis I didn't have to deal with trying to find "in between" clothes that were playground appropriate while still accomodating hips and a butt, and I didn't have to deal with the pediatrician calling my kid fat right in front of her because she is in the 95th percentile for weight (while being off the charts heighwise, BTW) at the very moment when naturally she is starting to care more than she has before about what peers/adults think!!

 

That's why it's so frustrating to hear "EH, it's just a fake label, no matter what."  From the advertising standpoint, I suppose.  I wish it went the other way--that "tween" clothes instead of being mini-juniors could be kids clothes cut for changing bodies.  But from a social/emotional standpoint (which is, IMO, what I have seen most parenting articles reference, aside from the one referenced from Mothering, though it does state up front that it is primarily talking about the *marketing label*, at least) I do think there is a fuzzy category.  Like all things developmental/physical, there is not a hard age and I'm sure there are kids who don't even go through it or spend much time there (I think it may be particularly pronounced in kids that do start to go through puberty when they are younger, to me going through it at 12-14 vs, 8-11 has different implications).  But why must people who do view that as a distinct stage be trashed?

 

I'll say it again.  Just because you acknowledge that there may be another reason why your kid is moody to add to the potential list of reasons doesn't mean that you are neglecting the fact that there may be other reasons (or most likely MULTIPLE reasons!).  If you do search the "tween" racks of clothes for your kid because osh kosh is not cut for hips or because your kid has hit one of the growth spurts and is an 8 year old in size 14/16 kids stuff, it doesn't mean that you're going to let her dress like a streetwalker and you're signing her up for facebook.  I don't think most moms on MDC work that way, about anything. 

post #33 of 48

Who said anything about treating puberty like a disease?  How about we respect it for when it ACTUALLY happens rather than letting the media rush our children into something they're not ready for?

post #34 of 48

But it IS actually happening for some kids.  It sounds like our kids are the same age.  That is the problem--there is no concrete age.  The media did not rush my child into puberty before yours--it's genetics and environment.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by velochic View Post

Who said anything about treating puberty like a disease?  How about we respect it for when it ACTUALLY happens rather than letting the media rush our children into something they're not ready for?



 

post #35 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by velochic View Post
 Just because a girl is developing breasts doesn't mean that she is ready to meet the world of dating, boys, cliques, crushes, popularity contests, back-biting, gossiping, and all the other "tween traits" that Disney exposes that age set to.  A girl that is developing breasts doesn't have to conform to the trappings of what "tween" represents.

 

ETA:  What their marketing research has found is that the Disney Princesses are great money makers for the 3 -7 yo set.  Then they don't know what to do with the 8, 9, 10, 11 year olds.  They're too old for the Princesses, but really, emotionally too young for the Hana Montana.  So... voila... move them into the Hana Montana set earlier.  More time to make money.
 

 

I am reading with fascination despite not having a tween girl at all.

 

However I have to say that I was a 8-12 year old girl and those were some of the worst years for bullying and cliques that I remember - in the late 70s/early 80s before the term tween was invented. I remember saving for a transistor radio (iPod equivalent) at that age and also my proud first purchase of a *cough* Olivia Newton-John album in grade 5. I also was in an oddly constructed French Immersion class where there was one boy and 16 girls, and his mom made him take each of us on a 'date' in grade 5 (to the movies) so that everyone would have the experience (which was um, getting dropped off at the movie theatre, seeing the movie awkwardly, and getting picked up:)). And the surreptitious reading of Judy Blume's Forever and the sneaking in to see Little Darlings, oh my.

 

So...I don't see it as solely modern-marketing driven. I do think that it is exploited by marketers, who probably did invent the term 'tween' but I really don't think it's a stage created by them.
 

I do think one of the best books I've read about it is Raising Ophelia by Mary Pipher and she does have a lot of suggestions for how to counter some of the bad messages while celebrating the journey.

post #36 of 48

You know, I think the Mothering article explains my position most succinctly and perhaps I'm not stating things as well as I should be.  I really do think the article has hit the nail on the head, so I'm not going to say much more on the subject.  I'll leave it to Mothering to make my case and let others decide on their own.  My stance is working well for my family and I hope others' do as well for theirs.  Here's the article again:

 

http://mothering.com/green-living/stealing-childhood?page=0,1

post #37 of 48

On the opposite side of early puberty, I was super-late.  I didn't even begin developing breasts until about 15 (yeah, that was fun), and I got my period at 17.  I went to 2 specialists and was told there was nothing at all wrong with me and I was just a slow developer.  For the record, I drank Kool-Aid and milk and ate Oreos and mac and cheese.  I was formula fed from a bottle.  All my toys were plastic and I chewed on lead pencils.  nut.gif   At 13 I still loved dolls (I played with Cabbage Patch dolls and Barbies).  Yet I also reallllllly liked boys.  So no clue what was going on with my hormones.

 

For me personally, I generally hate the term "tween" because of what it seems to imply (at least where I am from).  People here start applying the term at age 8, and suddenly kids are watching the tween-type shows about young teenagers (and when I've seen them, they seem to be sarcastic and disrespectful....considering my DD loves to mimic, this is not a good thing).  They encourage their kids to listen to dance music (ex: 2 of my friends have placed a "boom box" in their kid's room and it blasts dance music all day long).  I don't want my kid singing some of those lyrics!  Ex: one friend's 8 year old was singing Body Bounce....omg.  "I'm about to launch my rocket, Take off your clothes and reach in my pocket" are NOT words I want my kid singing.  That is one example...there are several.  It is like they just stop considering what is age-appropriate!  And don't get me started on clothes.  I have one heck of a time here finding nice normal clothes that don't look trashy or with words all over the bum.   

 

My 8 year old is not a tween in my mind.  She is a kid.  And she'll be an older kid at 10.  And she'll be a teen at 13.  But I seem to be in the minority (amongst friends/acquaintances).

post #38 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by brokenheart View Post

 

My 8 year old is not a tween in my mind.  She is a kid.  And she'll be an older kid at 10.  And she'll be a teen at 13.  But I seem to be in the minority (amongst friends/acquaintances).


Respectfully I would suggest that this only works if your dd follows your genetic lead, which is probably the most likely scenario.  Whether you listen to certain music, etc. doesn't impact when the physical changes of early adolescence begin.  If your dd begins puberty earlier than 13, you might want to meet her with a greater sense of her changing self.  There's a lot happening between 10 and 13.

post #39 of 48

But why would it only work if she follows my genetics?  Even if she started getting breasts at age 10, she is still just an "older kid".  Even if she got her period at 10, she would not be a "teen" until 13.  Who cares what the label is?  10 year olds are kids, aren't they?  Even if they are having hormonal changes, a 10 year old is an older kid; or if you love the label "tween", you could use that...I just dislike it because it implies little teenagers chasing boys/girls and talking on their cellphones (at least around here!).  At 11 I had lots of homones (despite being flat-chested).  I liked boys but I was still a kid.
 

I have heard several people (acquaintances/cousins, etc) say their kids is "9 going on 19" like it is a good thing.  I don't get how that is a good thing!!  And they appear to almost encourage this type of behavior (ex: clothes that appear way too old for a 9 year old like off-the-shoulder tops, allowing makeup, providing a cell phone, as I mentioned earlier...encouraging them to listen to music with age-inappropriate lyrics).  It goes on and on.  Sure kids may want to act like they are 16, but at age 9 there is no way I would be letting my child get into this stuff.  There are many years for that later.

Quote:
Originally Posted by karne View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by brokenheart View Post

 

My 8 year old is not a tween in my mind.  She is a kid.  And she'll be an older kid at 10.  And she'll be a teen at 13.  But I seem to be in the minority (amongst friends/acquaintances).


Respectfully I would suggest that this only works if your dd follows your genetic lead, which is probably the most likely scenario.  Whether you listen to certain music, etc. doesn't impact when the physical changes of early adolescence begin.  If your dd begins puberty earlier than 13, you might want to meet her with a greater sense of her changing self.  There's a lot happening between 10 and 13.


Edited by brokenheart - 12/30/10 at 4:31pm
post #40 of 48
Thread Starter 

I am getting a little frustrated. I started this thread to talk about something.

I am NOT talking about eight year old who are going through puberty. An eight year old going through puberty is a different case than, well, anything. An eight year old girl going through puberty is also way different than an eleven or twelve year old going through puberty.

Also, a whole lot of girls get breasts at ten. Even with the organic food ;). Ane, yes, I completely see in our crunchy community, the idea among crunchy mamas with just little little girls, that feeding them kale and no sugar will equal breasts at an early age. Here, that attitude stops

earlier because in our homeschooling group clearly

  the girlsten and up are developing. And these are kids on all organic strict diets.(Some anyhow.)

What I'm talking about is how it took me twenty literal minutes to find an outfit in Old Navy for my just turned eight year old.  Her aunt, who never buys her things for her birthday or Christmas, surprised us by buying two pairs of skinny jeans. My little girl is not wearing skin tight clothes so I took them back but they would only give me store credit. If I was in a different financial place. I would have bought the baby onsies and just got my dd a lovely Land's End dress instead. (Or two on sale because these horrible jeans were pricey.) But I can't do that so I looked and looked and looked for an outfit for her that didn't look, well, like something a teenager would wear.  I eventually found ONE skirt that she would like and looked like something a little girl would wear. And a little top with an owl on it. 

*That* is what troubles me. I shpuoldn't have to wade through clothes for that long to come up with something childlike for my child (for the record, the skit went up to a  14 as did the top so a developing eight or nine year old could have worn the same thing very comfortably and looked adorable in it.)

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