Mexico? - Page 2

[missgranger]

Thank you, everyone. I just needed to hear from others not involved in the situation to see if my reaction was normal or seemed overly paranoid.

Speaking of Skype, he was talking to the kids yesterday and kept asking if they wanted to come see him and then would follow up with, "well, talk to Mommy," making me the bad guy when I say "No."

Again, I just want to thank everyone for the support and good advice over the past couple of years. You're a wonderful group!

[smeep]

Originally Posted by missgranger 

Thank you, everyone. I just needed to hear from others not involved in the situation to see if my reaction was normal or seemed overly paranoid.

Speaking of Skype, he was talking to the kids yesterday and kept asking if they wanted to come see him and then would follow up with, "well, talk to Mommy," making me the bad guy when I say "No."

Again, I just want to thank everyone for the support and good advice over the past couple of years. You're a wonderful group!

You're welcome! I love this group of ladies as well. :)

On the note of what he said on Skype...if it were me, I would write a nice email (or whatever form you use to communicate most) and tell him directly that under NO circumstances is he to play that "mommy's the bad guy" game with that again. The custody agreement says that he is not supposed to take them out of the states. So how does that make you the bad parent? You're just following the agreement. He's the one who made mistakes that make him unable to come into the US. If you *were* to meet him in another country, he should have to pay for that (therefore it's not a matter of "talk to mommy"). I would let him know that either he stops playing those games, which HURT the children and only the children, or you won't be doing skype anymore.

But, you know, that's just me. :) Best of luck, mama!
 

[Momtwice]

"..if it were me, I would write a nice email (or whatever form you use to communicate most) and tell him directly that under NO circumstances is he to play that "mommy's the bad guy" game with that again. The custody agreement says that he is not supposed to take them out of the states. So how does that make you the bad parent? You're just following the agreement. He's the one who made mistakes that make him unable to come into the US."

Seriously. If he pushes that I would want to tell the children something age appropriate but honest. At some point when they are older maybe, they deserve to know that the court won't let him take them out of the country, and won't let him IN.  It would be so tempting to say something like "daddy isn't allowed to come back because he did something wrong, isn't that sad? You must miss him so much" I suppose that would be too much for small children though....but it's something to consider if he keeps it up.

[Ione]

I am going to assume that his country of origin is NOT a signatory of the Hague Convention on International Child Abduction. And as such is under no obligation to recognize the validity of and much less enforce your US custody order.

I am also going to assume that if he or his family has the clout in his country of origin that was alluded to in this thread, that it would most likely be a fairly simple (or rather easy enough to actually do it) matter to obtain passports (and citizenship, of course) for the kids from his country of origin.

Last assumption: it would be possible for him to get court orders in his country of origin giving him full custody of the children.

In this case (assumptions true or become true), he could very easily get the kids out of Mexico traveling on non-US passports with a non-US custody order. Easily. And once back in his country of origin with the kids, you would have virtually NO recourse if the courts in the country of origin do not recognize your US court order. Which they wouldn't, having already issued their own orders and not being in a Hague Convention country. 

Then, you'd have a costly and pretty much hopeless battle on your hands in a foreign country, foreign court system, somewhere where your ex and his family have political clout. Where I'm assuming that "due process" has a rather fuzzy/flexible definition compared to what we are used to in the developed West.

There's your (almost) worst case scenario. 

It comes down to how much you trust him.

I think you've mentioned enough real read flags given the legal nightmare that could ensue without too much of a stretch of the imagination to say "Hell NO" to your question. And have that not be paranoia.

[homewithtwinsmama]

I think I would tell him that the next time he scapegoats you for him being unable to see him the Skype communications will end for a while.  That is NOT cool!