Winter Unitarian Universalist Thread - All Welcome - Page 3

[Callimom]

Hi everyone

So nice to check in and see this thread so close to the top of the forum.

I wanted to share a beautiful thing that happened in our UU community.  We have a much loved member who has been battling cancer and in the last week it has been clear that she is at the end of her time here. I had volunteered to help with our caring committee but each time I was scheduled for something (meals, driving etc) we were foiled by something else going on. Once there was a snow storm that caused her appointments to be cancelled. She was in the hospital one evening I was scheduled to bring dinner etc. Sadly we weren't able to do much to help and my kids and I were feeling sad about that.

Our member entered hospice this weekend and after church there was a group who went to form a circle around her. It was one of the most beautiful and moving things I have ever experienced. I took my oldest son (12). The other kids helped bake and made cards and waldorf window stars to hang in her room but decided they didn't want to go. I am so glad my oldest came. The lay chaplain who was leading the circle and her husband who was playing his ukelele (sp?) did such a wonderful job. Our chalice was there and our bowl of water and rocks. People stood at the end of Pam's bed and placed a rock in the water and shared their connection to her, a story, a quote, a thanks.

We sang some beautiful songs. There were lots of tears and lots of laughter, and lots of hand squeezes/hugs and beautiful connections.

At one point two of our members wanted to sing "we are sending you light" but most of us gathered didn't know it. My son had learned it in the RE program  - it was actually taught to him by Pam's daughter. And so these two women and Ryan lead us in this song and the actions. He has been taking his place more and more in the community - volunteering for the Sunday Services Committee and a welcoming pod - but I could see this being a real turning point for him in really integrating in this community and realizing the benefits/responsibilities and gifts of it.

The whole experience was beautiful and I learned so much from it.

[treehugz]

Finally subbin' to the winter thread!

I'm hoping someone has some good resources they can direct me to.  My dd is nearly 3 and has entered the "why" phase.  She's very curious about the prayer when we get together for family meals, but hasn't asked me about it directly so I haven't addressed it yet... it's coming though.  All of our family is fundamental Christian, and I know at some point she will hear someone talk about god or Jesus and ask who that is.  So, rather than risk the answer coming from one of my well-meaning-but-biased family members (I greatly fear what they would say and that my dd would accept it as fact), I think I need to be proactive and present her with God 101 for preschoolers and begin introducing different beliefs.  I'm still pretty fuzzy about what *I* believe, so no clue how to do this!!! 

Did any of you make a point to start teaching this at a certain age or did this just happen gradually while they went to RE??   We're not attending our UU church for a variety of reasons... mainly we're out of town 4 out of 5 weekends (and then exhausted on the 5th one when we're in town!), but also the church is a half hour away, my dh isn't really supportive, my dd isn't ready for RE and doesn't sit quietly through service, and I'm a total introvert and can't seem to get comfortable or find a place in this church.  Phew... the overwhelming weight of that makes me not want to even get out of bed on Sunday morning!  :) So I'd love some resources that I could use at home for a very basic 3-yr old RE.  How did you first begin talking about these topics with your little ones?  Are there online RE materials for home?  Any ideas?

[LionessMom]

wow, alot goes on when you dont get on the internet for 5 days. lol. my kids and I just recently became members of our church. i love it. i do travel the half h our every sunday. all of my kids greatly benefit from it. and I as well. so nice to see this thread every time i log on!

[Stargirl]

Hi everyone,

Great question about OWL. I think that it is really important to understand that the OWL curriculum starts at the Kindergarten level and goes all the way through adulthood. The curriculum is not the same for each age level. Each curriculum is age appropriate. I think many people are envisioning the Junior and Senior OWL programs when they hear OWL. Please keep in mind that these curricula are based on the "Guidelines for Comprehensive Sexuality Education produced by the National Guidelines Task Force, a group of leading health, education, and sexuality professionals assembled by the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS)." Parents are also required to attend a parent info night before the program begins to ensure that they are giving informed consent for their child to participate. Here are two links that might be helpful.

http://cuc.ca/lifespan/OverviewContentElementaryOurWholeLives.pdf

http://www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/ourwhole/index.shtml

Hope that helps!

[mammal_mama]

Congratulations, LionessMom! I've been really enjoying our church's Road to Membership classes, and our last one is next Sunday. I'm excited about becoming a member.

[mammal_mama]

Oops I need to follow Kate Braestrup's advice about talking to the actual person instead of "about" him or her!

[mammal_mama]

Oops -- double post!

[Adele_Mommy]

Thanks for posting those links Stargirl.  Many people identify OWL with pre-teens or teens, probably because a lot of churches, including my own, only use the pre-teen and/or teen OWL curricula.  Remember OWL stands for "Our Whole Lives" which means not just physical and spiritual, but also childhood through adulthood.  I remember at least one person posted on these threads talking about her church using OWL for the younger age groups.  I haven't seen posts here from her in awhile, but if you do a search through the prior iterations of this thread you should be able to find her posts on the topic.

[Adele_Mommy]

Originally Posted by Karenwith4 

Hi everyone

So nice to check in and see this thread so close to the top of the forum.

I wanted to share a beautiful thing that happened in our UU community.  We have a much loved member who has been battling cancer and in the last week it has been clear that she is at the end of her time here. I had volunteered to help with our caring committee but each time I was scheduled for something (meals, driving etc) we were foiled by something else going on. Once there was a snow storm that caused her appointments to be cancelled. She was in the hospital one evening I was scheduled to bring dinner etc. Sadly we weren't able to do much to help and my kids and I were feeling sad about that.

Our member entered hospice this weekend and after church there was a group who went to form a circle around her. It was one of the most beautiful and moving things I have ever experienced. I took my oldest son (12). The other kids helped bake and made cards and waldorf window stars to hang in her room but decided they didn't want to go. I am so glad my oldest came. The lay chaplain who was leading the circle and her husband who was playing his ukelele (sp?) did such a wonderful job. Our chalice was there and our bowl of water and rocks. People stood at the end of Pam's bed and placed a rock in the water and shared their connection to her, a story, a quote, a thanks.

We sang some beautiful songs. There were lots of tears and lots of laughter, and lots of hand squeezes/hugs and beautiful connections.

At one point two of our members wanted to sing "we are sending you light" but most of us gathered didn't know it. My son had learned it in the RE program  - it was actually taught to him by Pam's daughter. And so these two women and Ryan lead us in this song and the actions. He has been taking his place more and more in the community - volunteering for the Sunday Services Committee and a welcoming pod - but I could see this being a real turning point for him in really integrating in this community and realizing the benefits/responsibilities and gifts of it.

The whole experience was beautiful and I learned so much from it.

That ceremony sounds just beautiful, Karen.  Thank you for sharing the story with us.  Congratulations to your son for taking such an active role in this ceremony and in your church as a whole!
 

[Adele_Mommy]

Originally Posted by treehugz 

Finally subbin' to the winter thread!

I'm hoping someone has some good resources they can direct me to.  My dd is nearly 3 and has entered the "why" phase.  She's very curious about the prayer when we get together for family meals, but hasn't asked me about it directly so I haven't addressed it yet... it's coming though.  All of our family is fundamental Christian, and I know at some point she will hear someone talk about god or Jesus and ask who that is.  So, rather than risk the answer coming from one of my well-meaning-but-biased family members (I greatly fear what they would say and that my dd would accept it as fact), I think I need to be proactive and present her with God 101 for preschoolers and begin introducing different beliefs.  I'm still pretty fuzzy about what *I* believe, so no clue how to do this!!! 

Did any of you make a point to start teaching this at a certain age or did this just happen gradually while they went to RE??   We're not attending our UU church for a variety of reasons... mainly we're out of town 4 out of 5 weekends (and then exhausted on the 5th one when we're in town!), but also the church is a half hour away, my dh isn't really supportive, my dd isn't ready for RE and doesn't sit quietly through service, and I'm a total introvert and can't seem to get comfortable or find a place in this church.  Phew... the overwhelming weight of that makes me not want to even get out of bed on Sunday morning!  :) So I'd love some resources that I could use at home for a very basic 3-yr old RE.  How did you first begin talking about these topics with your little ones?  Are there online RE materials for home?  Any ideas?

Welcome, treehugz!

When my daughter was younger, we used this series of books Religions of the World (don't buy them - I'm sure you can find them at your local library and/or your church library).  The books aren't perfect, but they give an overview of a bunch of different religions from a child's perspective.  My daughter and I read a whole bunch of them together and then we would talk about how the religions were different from and similar to each other and to us as UUs.  Another thing I like about the series is they don't have just one book for "I Am Christian" they have several dominations:  "I Am Roman Catholic", "I Am Protestant", "I Am Orthodox", etc.

For learning about Jesus as a man and teacher I recommend Meet Jesus:  The Life and Lessons of A Beloved Teacher.  This book also briefly introduces the idea that some people believe Jesus was the son of God without actively promoting that view.  It should be age-appropriate for your daughter and at least give her some idea who her relatives are talking about when she hears the name, Jesus.

If you would like recommendations for some resources for teaching about Unitarian Universalist identity, let me know.  When my dd was younger, and even more recently, she found it very helpful to be able to respond to statements from her friends of other religions by referencing her own religion.  e.g. "I'm Unitarian Universalist and we don't believe in hell" or "I'm Unitarian Universalist and some of us don't believe in God at all."  but that does not sound like what you are looking for right now and might be better when your dd is a little older.

HTH  Good luck!

[treehugz]

Thanks Adele... I'll see if my library has that set.  It sounds great.  I wonder if there are Meet Muhammed or Meet Buddha, etc or similar books that would be at a 3-year old level too.  It doesn't feel right to me to present Jesus without presenting other important religious people too, kwim?   

Has anyone read Raising Freethinkers?  Wondering if I should add it to my reading list.

[Adele_Mommy]

I have not read Raising Freethinkers (or Dale McGowan's first book, Parenting Beyond Belief) mainly because I feel like I already have support and resources for most of the issues addressed in those books through my UU church and its RE program.  However, I will probably end up reading those books at some point simply because I think Dale McGowan is fabulous!  I follow his blog, The Meming of Life "religiously" if you'll pardon the expression. 

For me, the myths that resonant are intricately tied to culture.  I am not Christian and I was not raised Christian, but my childhood was culturally Christian (we celebrated secular versions of Easter and Christmas for example).  The stories in the Christian tradition have always and continue to be more powerful for me than stories from the Buddhist and Muslim traditions.  Consequently, I don't have good recommendations for a "Meet Buddha" or "Meet Muhammed" book.  The UUA Bookstore is a wonderful resource and you will probably find things you like there, but a cursory search does not seem to have anything that fits the bill at the moment.

This book looks about the right level and gets excellent reviews:  Becoming Buddha

Finding children's picture books about Muhammad is even harder, at least in part because of the Muslim rule against pictorial representations of Muhammad.  And then there is the fact that whenever I think about that restriction it seems so incomprehensible to me, and my gut reaction is so hostile, I know I could never read a story about Muhammad to my daughter in anything like an unbiased fashion anyway.  With that said, this book might work for you:  Muhammad

[treehugz]

Originally Posted by Adele_Mommy 
Finding children's picture books about Muhammad is even harder, at least in part because of the Muslim rule against pictorial representations of Muhammad.  And then there is the fact that whenever I think about that restriction it seems so incomprehensible to me, and my gut reaction is so hostile, I know I could never read a story about Muhammad to my daughter in anything like an unbiased fashion anyway.  With that said, this book might work for you:  Muhammad

I didn't know that about Muhammad... that would definitely make it hard to do a children's picture book about him!  I'll check these books out too.  The UUA Bookstore is great!   

[mammal_mama]

I don't know how many others here are moving into UU from fundamentalist Christian backgrounds -- but for those who are, I thought some of you might identify with an email I just sent in response to an article sent to me (and some others) by an old fundamentalist friend. (Some of you might be bored and want to skip this post, and that's okay, too.) This friend periodically sends messages, such as articles, to me and a group of women, many of whom I used to know from church or Bible Study. I have opened up (through email) to her, and to some others in this group, about my theological shifts. My friend has expressed great sadness and the others haven't responded.

Well, the other day she sent us an article about Judas's betrayal of Christ; the author said Jesus was subtle and didn't tell the disciples who was going to betray him because the disciples would have tried to prevent God's plan for salvation...and Jesus also wanted them to be introspective and examine themselves. The author then urged all the readers to examine themselves. I actually have been examining myself a lot lately and I felt led to hit the "reply to all" button and write the following email --

"Wow! This resonates with some things I've been learning lately. Jesus said that whatever we do to "the least of these," we do to him -- and for the last couple of weeks I've been feeling really prodded to be more mindful of who the "these" are that the Spirit is calling me to especially love and be faithful to.
 
First, I've seen that I need to learn to be more present in the moment, more present with my children and interested in their interests. One afternoon I took an old sheet out to our "barn" (detached garage) so the girls and I could sit on the floor and hang with our many chickens and our new barn cat, Smoky. The girls were so thrilled that I did this; it's in moments like these that I realize that my children really aren't unsatisfiable. I just need to tune in to that Spirit that gives me such simply wonderful insights, so I can respond to the true yearnings of their hearts.
 
Second, I've started waking up to the fact that I've been betraying a large segment of my fellow humans by pretending to myself that I "can't afford" to start finding ways to shift over to a way of life in which I'm not hurting people in developing countries by taking advantage of our global economy, which enables me to buy, very cheaply, many things that poor people are literally pouring their lives out to produce.
 
In a way, I must admit that I think my prior view of salvation and Heaven as something spiritual and "out there" has contributed to my tendency to dismiss any concerns I might feel about the unfair practices in our world here and now. Mentally leaving this world is a betrayal of the least of these.
 
Thankfully, I'm also one of "the least of these," and you are, too, in the arms of the Spirit. I'm not required to bear a heavy yoke that would cause me to give up, but, rather, to be attentive (just as I was over a year ago when I realized that I needed to start earning money; I was very anxious, but the Spirit calmed me and impressed on me that I didn't need to rush into anything, but just needed to attentively wait and watch for the opportunities that would arise)...I just need now to rest in Love and watch for the opportunities that will surface, and the paths that will open up for me to contribute more actively to the vision of "a peaceful, fair, and free world" (quote taken from principal 6 of the Living Unitarian Universalist Principles).
 
I wish you all Love's blessings as you make your own inward journeys and encounter your own choices!"

[Aeress]

I have been reading the last few posts with great interest. Thanks for posting the book recommendation!

[mom de terre]

Karen, that ceremony sounds so lovely, and it's wonderful that son was able to be there as he was.

Hi everybody, I don't come around MDC often, I'll admit, but I had something on my mind I thought I'd ask you all.

First off, I'm E. I've been attending UU services for about 5 years consistently, sporadically before that.  I really enjoy my congregation (you can see our rainbow picture on the UUA website if you click the social justice button!)  and both of my daughters love attending as well.  This year I've been "promoted" :lol: from nursery attendant to 7th grade RE teacher.  We just started the UUA Families curriculum, and the kids are really into it.

Anyhow, on to the question...

I've recently been reading "Tending the Flame: the Art of UU Parenting," and it has got me thinking about how little I incorporate UU into my daily life in a conscious way that encourages my children to think of themselves as UUs.  (Uhh, yeah, recently my 4yo told me that she likes to go to church, but isn't a Unitarian :lol:)

If you have thought about this, what are you doing? 

[ziggy]

Did anybody's church do something for Standing On the Side of LOVE Sunday?  We had a service focused on immigration and access to education.  It was a little overly political for my tastes but a good service. 

[shanniesue2]

So I came out of last Sunday's service very disappointed.  Our ministered preached on the Abraham/Isaac scripture (our theme for the month is religious authority)... and his take on it was very interesting.... but at the end of the sermon, he added lessons that God might have learned from the whole encounter... and basically said that God dreamed of a day there would be a church like ours.  I'm hugely condensing and paraphrasing, but that was the basic idea.  And that whole idea really bothered me, and it really offended my husband (who is a member at a different church, but attends with me every 2-3 weeks).  There are several things that really bothered me about the message.  Basically I think it's spiritually kind of dangerous to state that any one group of people is living God's dream for humanity. For one, I think it's presumptuous(and sort of blasphemous) to think that any of us is fulfilling God's dream.  I think it's much more accurate and loving to say that we are struggling and striving together to live according to our beliefs and in a way that we believe God wants us to live. For two, I think that it risks that group ending up on a moral high horse, which isn't good for anyone.  Anyway, DH was offended enough that he said he wouldn't be coming back to church with me :(  I understand, and I'm never going to insist that he go to church somewhere that he's not comfortable.  But it's still sad to me.

So pretty soon after we got home, I sent our minister an email.  I feel like it was a pretty balanced email.  In addition to my concerns with the sermon, I talked about how much I loved our church and what a wonderful community it was.  I talked about how I felt spiritually safe, challenged, and supported there.  The one thing I regret is that this is my first real personal communication with him... and I told him that I was sorry about that.  And that I didn't want to be the type of member that he only heard from when it was something negative.  So I feel like the email was strong enough about my concerns, but respectful and positive about him and the community.

The thing that I'm disappointed about right now is that I haven't gotten a response from him.  I was really expecting to hear something from him yesterday or today.  But nothing.  I briefly saw him at church tonight, but it's a large church and I haven't made a real, personal introduction with him, yet.  So, I'm sure he doesn't connect my name with my face, and there wasn't really time to chat with him (Wed nights are UBER busy).

Anyway, do you think I should give more time for a response?  Should I try to contact him in a more personal way?  The reason I sent an email is that I frequently communicate stuff like this better in writing than I do in person.  In person, I have a tendency to get nervous and flustered... and I don't do a very good job of really communicating what I mean.  Or should I just leave it?  Chalk it up as a sermon that I disagree with?

[Aeress]

When I attended another church, it seemed everyone raved about the sermons but at the UU church, there are often those who don't agree with the message. I think UU's are great at sharing their concerns, feelings and ideas, so I am really glad you shared your concern with your pastor. I would have thought he would have gotten back to you by now, but maybe he is the type to really need time to mull over the message and reply slowly.

In some ways I agree with your Pastor, I really believe that if God exists, he wants for us a world of caring and compassionate people who can see all religions as valid as long as they are respectful of other people and other religions. I know my Mom, a very strong Lutheran, believes that following the Bible to be the true way to live your life but she strongly believes that we can't decide for God, what God wants unless it comes from the Bible. So, I can see what you are saying. I think it is how some people believe that the only true way in life is through Christ, and that THAT belief is the only way. So yes, getting stuck in one ideology is never a good idea, it places way too much importance on the idea and not the action. (This is just my take on things)

I would ask him if he can clarify his message and send him another email. If he doesn't respond at that time, I would either assume he doesn't read his email or he is feeling uncomfortable or unsure of how to respond and maybe a meeting would be in order.

I am sorry your husband was so offended that he doesn't feel comfortable attending with you. There have been a few speakers who have offended me at our church, but because they aren't regular speakers, i can let it slide. If my Pastor offended me, I would definately talk to him/her and I am sure they would want to know.

[Adele_Mommy]

Well, it's Spring . . . supposedly . . . by the calendar anyway.  Please come join us at the new Spring Unitarian Universalist Thread!