Obtaining a Diagnosis..........? (Going Private questions)

[BusyMumof5]

Is there anyone here who has been fobbed off enough to go private for a diagnosis?

How much did it cost and do you have any helpful hints / tips for a Mother seeking a diagnosis?

His MAIN symptom is ''HYPERACTIVENESS''

He just does not stop and since Schools' have broken up (Yes, bad Mama, not home-schooling!) he has been uncontrollable.

Always on the go and believe it or not - NOT GOING TO SLEEP BEFORE 1 AM!!!

I am becoming so exhausted I want to sleep all Christmas day!!

He has IBS (or such like) and is on medication to treat that (I have also heard that bowel problems go 'hand in hand' with autism disorders)

He is now 6 years old and has already been kept back a year at school.

His motor skills are lack, and his speach has vastly improved BUT when working as a group, he's the ''listening'' child!

I want a diagnosis before he is kept back ANOTHER year and I fear that will happen, I knew when he started school he was NOT ready.

Please help, I am desprate!

[Emmeline II]

I would try to get a "sleep study" done. Sleep deprivation can cause symptoms of hyperactiveness where there otherwise wouldn't be, or make it worse.

Even if he doesn't have a sleep disorder, both ADHD and Austism Spectrum disorders can result in sleep difficulty. We use melatonin with ds to help him get to sleep; usually 1mg, though occationally we need to use 2mg or 3mg. In the US, melatonin is available without a prescription in the vitamin aisle. Celestial Seasonings Herb Tea, Sleepytime  has a similar effect.

Ds takes medication for ADHD. We finally went that route after several months of family therapy and parenting changes. He was on Concerta which helped a great deal, but he was still having significant impulse control issues in unstructured environments at school. We upped the Concerta dose (which made things worse, even at home), then switched to Vyvanse (stronger medication/lower dose). The latter drug seems to be helping ds at home and he showed incredible patience with 4yo dd on the computer yesterday;o)  and I took them to 4 stores today and did not feel like pulling my hair out. We don't know yet what he is like at school with the new medication.

I think that an "Occupational Therapist" would be the one to go to for motor skills.

I made a bullet list and subdivided it into behavior catagories that you usually find when you look up ADHD and Aspergers (or ASD). Looking up the symptoms of what you think are the issues can prompt you to think back on his behavior and prompt you to remember more.

Physical Aggression

Property Destruction

Difficulty Interacting with Peers

Non-compliance

You can also try posting on your "tribe board" to find local advice.

I've seen a lot of moms post that they were leaving homeschooling or the idea of homeschooling for school outside the home. Sometimes that is where the help is, or where the child functions best; sometimes the opposite is true.

Edited by Emmeline II - 12/23/10 at 2:30pm

[BusyMumof5]

Thanks for that hun!

Tonight has been easier, he went to sleep at 10:30pm ish..

I will look up melatonin and see if we can get it here.. I haven't heard of it before I must admit! (Thanks for the helpful hint!)

I can't stand the looks we get whilst we're out shopping, and he's kicking, punching, pushing the trolly into others / shelves etc. People stare without understanding and just automatically think you're a bad parent and can't control him and that really isn't the case!

He's seen, GP's, Paediatricians, Health Visitors and now Educational Pychologists, and still no one is interested in diagnosing him, BUT at the last appointment with the Paediatrician she did say ''It's clear he has some developemental issues'' but we always get shrugged off with 'It's far too early to tell'' and other fobbing off stories!!

I did um and ah about home-schooling and at one point I was going to do it but at the moment I am very glad I let him go into School, he has much more respect for his teachers than he does me :(

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by BusyMumof5 

Thanks for that hun!

Tonight has been easier, he went to sleep at 10:30pm ish..

I will look up melatonin and see if we can get it here.. I haven't heard of it before I must admit! (Thanks for the helpful hint!)

I can't stand the looks we get whilst we're out shopping, and he's kicking, punching, pushing the trolly into others / shelves etc. People stare without understanding and just automatically think you're a bad parent and can't control him and that really isn't the case!

He's seen, GP's, Paediatricians, Health Visitors and now Educational Pychologists, and still no one is interested in diagnosing him, BUT at the last appointment with the Paediatrician she did say ''It's clear he has some developemental issues'' but we always get shrugged off with 'It's far too early to tell'' and other fobbing off stories!!

I did um and ah about home-schooling and at one point I was going to do it but at the moment I am very glad I let him go into School, he has much more respect for his teachers than he does me :(

We went through that too, the wild behavior in public.

I'll pm you my bullet list; it resulted in a referral from our GP to a special clinic at a children's hospital--I asked for the referral, gave him the list, and he asked a few questions.

Have you been to a child psychiatrist? Our family therapist kept putting us off seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist saying that he wanted to see how ds handled 1st grade--I'm sure ds would have been kicked out of his charter school by now had we listened to that advice. When ds was in K his school said that "they" did not consider ADHD until 2nd or 3rd grade. Ds' psychiatrist later said she knew within the first 5 minutes.

These are the ingredient in Sleepytime tea; if you don't have it there you may be able to find something similar: Chamomile, Spearmint, Lemon Grass, Tilia Flowers, Blackberry Leaves, Orange Blossoms, Hawthorn Berries, and Rosebuds. Sleepytime Extra has: Valerian, Chamomile, spearmint leaves, lemon grass, hawthorn berries and orange blossoms.

Edited by Emmeline II - 12/23/10 at 7:46pm

[BusyMumof5]

Thanks hun - I got your Pm :)

Will go through it, print it and check off all that apply and take it with the next appointment!

I don't think he has seen a psychologist..

I feel it's something I am doing wrong, at School he is like a little angel and at home and out with us he is totally different!

Maybe he is bi-polar? It's also crossed my mind.. I remember when he was at Nursery, he was due to leave after being there a year (Ready for school) and finally he threw a temper / strop / behaviour wise and they were all shocked, all the staff, even parents looking over and thinking 'Where did that quiet, sweet boy go?'

xx

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by BusyMumof5 

Thanks hun - I got your Pm :)

Will go through it, print it and check off all that apply and take it with the next appointment!

I don't think he has seen a psychologist..

I feel it's something I am doing wrong, at School he is like a little angel and at home and out with us he is totally different!

Maybe he is bi-polar? It's also crossed my mind.. I remember when he was at Nursery, he was due to leave after being there a year (Ready for school) and finally he threw a temper / strop / behavior wise and they were all shocked, all the staff, even parents looking over and thinking 'Where did that quiet, sweet boy go?'

xx

The bullet list is what ds actually did last year in K, it's not a universal checklist--so it may be more helpful to whomever you have evaluating your ds to only have a list of his behaviors--though feel free to lift anything that fits your ds. I think that any evaluator should know specifically what your ds has done to cause you concern, especially since it happens in the home (no impartial witnesses) and you don't have a stack of school reports as back up (like I did ). I read websites for diagnoses I though might apply (ADHD, Asperger's, Sensory Processing Disorder, ODD), then either put down something general like "Has difficulty with empathy" under Difficulty Interacting With Peers, or something specific that ds did like "Stomped on his teacher’s foot for telling him not to do something" under Physical Aggression. I think I got most of the section titles from the Sensory Processing Disorder Checklist linked below. I believe that the most important information is that which is not readily observeable, or that your ds "turns off" in public. I'd try to keep  your list to a page if you can.

It is not uncommon for children to be different outside the home, either "good" or "bad"-- either being able to hold it together at school or at home. It could be a matter of an unstructured environment vs. a structured environment. For my ds this is contained at school. In structured classes (his primary teacher and computer class) is behavior is fine, but in PE, lunch and recess he has the most problems. Bipolar is something to read up on The Bipolar Child: The Definitive and Reassuring Guide to Childhood's Most Misunderstood Disorder since symptoms can overlap with ADHD.

Before ds started school it really did look like it was a problem with us as parents because he only displayed his worst behavior when we were there; if he were alone with Auntie or grandma he was a charming boy--though by the time ds was in school we had 3yo dd as a comparison; if we were just generally crappy parents then they would both be "problem" children instead of dd being a generally friendly and compliant child with no discipline issues.

Bipolar

http://bipolar.about.com/cs/kids_diag/a/red_flags4.htm

ADHD

How To Diagnose ADHD Child Disorder, Symptom & Signs Checklist ...

Asperger's

My Aspergers Child: Aspergers Checklist: Narrow Range of Interests ...

http://www.brighthub.com/mental-health/autism-pdd/articles/67745.aspx

Sensory Processing Disorder

Sensory Processing Disorder Checklist

[BusyMumof5]

Thanks for the websites, I will do a list now of what apply for him!!

He does match a lot of the 'signs' for bipolar, but obviously I can't diagnose him! ;) 

Thanks for the helpful hints :) xx

[blessedwithboys]

I see you're in the UK, I'm in the States and our system of curse works differently than yours, but yes, I have been fobbed off (my new favorite expression, BTW!  thx  heehee) repeatedly.  My ds has Medicaid, which is the free government insurance for low income families.  We have been going to a clinic where ds sees a therapist and has also seen a psychiatrist several times.  Previously, he saw 2 other doctors.  We have a strong family history of bi-polar, but bc my little man is an angel in school, I get fobbed off by the shrink.  So, next week we are going to a large children's hospital 3 hrs away (paid for by Medicaid) and if that doesn't get results, I spoke with a shrink 2 hrs away who kindly offered me a half-price consult.  After that I am willing to go to a phone interview with Dr. Papolous (several hundred dollars for a 20 minute phone call to determine if I should pay $2400 for a face-to-face visit in NYC), and after that, I sell my son on the black market.  LOL

I know this isn't quite helpful for you bc you need someone in the UK to give their experience, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone.  Other mamas out there are also willing to go to great lengths for their kiddos!  GL!  :)

[westcoastmom]

I would recommend what a previous person recommended about making a list. Don't downplay anything.

I have a child who behaves much better in a highly structured environment if she is given options to go to things like an art area when she needs to. As a parent of a child who can behave much better in a structured environment, I find it difficult to deal with professional's who have the perception that it must be a parenting problem.