I hesitate to even post, but honestly, I see no power within the last two posts at all. I see distance making statements. I say this as an advocate of what you, as parents, are trying to do... but I would have found ways around what both of you are saying and seem to be trying to implement, and then I would feel like you didn't even want to try to know me at all, if I were your teen.
Sorry if that stings but I think the point of this thread is to try to get close enough to the teen child to avoid his/her future problems. Thats why I spilled my own beans, its not comfortable, but if it can help someone else, thats life coming around. I'm not trying to instigate issues between us posters at all. And as embarrassed as I could be by letting it all out here , I went forth and did it, hopefully it could help OP's dd and her understanding with each other somehow.
I did mention the the guy who got me pregnant was a half year younger than I was. It happens. It is NOT age or being infatuated with an older guy. Its putting trust in your daughter and giving the time to her to instill self-esteem and for her to know what good and bad choices can lead to. Also, knowing where she can find good quality condoms and other forms of self protection should she choose to go there. It's a LOT about not sticking your head in the sand and then freaking out on her for not doing what you think she "should have done". Prevention can be as easy as guiding her where to read about people who have had real life experiences in dealing with disease and teen pg or abortion, etc.... to giving her good resources for top quality condoms and info against how to protect herself from other STD's. She's a person, who is free to make choices. Your strongest avenue here is to be her guide, not her cop.