Those choices are not the sort of thing that 13 year olds are mature enough to take on, sorry. Pregnancy, STDs, HIV. Not to mention the boy being arrested for statutory rape if she changes her mind after the fact or if *anyone* finds out about it. And if you, as her parent, know about it, you can be held as an accomplice. It's happened.
I completely agree with this. There are numerous studies, showing how the teenage brain is not fully devEloped, that they canNOT make appropriate decisions at times. And this could be the MOST important decision of her life so far; whether to go all the way with a boy that has NO business with her anyhow. I really wouldn't let my dd (14 in 9th grade) even be in the position to have to make this type of decision. They just aren't capable. And yeah , here's the big white elephant in the room: STATUTORY RAPE, DATE RAPE, it happens *all* the time :(
Again, I feel it is a gigantic leap to go from test messages to the OP's DD being forced to make a decision about whether she wants to be sexually active. Girls do not sleep with every boy with whom they text, no mattter what the age of the boy.