sex

[One_Girl]

My dd just turned 8 a month ago and I just found out she has some knowledge of what sex is.  I thought she didn't care to know yet because she hasn't asked but she heard me telling her uncle she doesn't know what that word means and she told me it is when boys and girls get naked together and kiss each other on their private parts.  I told her that we would talk and read more about what it actually is later in a calm voice then came here to freak out.

Any good book recommendations would be welcome.

[MJB]

My boys really liked "It's So Amazing." It's a comic book narrated by a bird and a bee. It manages to cover all the basics and be funny at the same time.

[LynnS6]

I think that 8 is the perfect age to have these talks and this information. She's old enough to understand, but young enough that she's not got the hormonal surges yet.

We really liked:

It's Not the Stork -- I think (but I don't remember) that it's a little more detailed than It's So Amazing, which might be appropriate for her age.

I'm thinking of buying the next one up for ages 9-12 (ds is 9) called "It's Perfectly Normal".

Other than that, don't worry. Do worry that she's getting accurate information from YOU, but kids are interested in reproduction, families and yes, sex. It's part of being human.

My kids have known the 'facts of life' since they were 4 (for dd) and 7 (for ds). They need a refresher every now and then, and now that ds is getting closer to puberty, it's time to introduce those ideas to him. He's much less interested than his sister. Personally, I'm in denial about the fact that he's ever going to go through puberty, but the fact that he's now taller than my shoulder (and I'm 5'7") and wearing a men's size 7 shoe should probably tell me that it's going to happen!

[One_Girl]

Thank you for the recommendations.  It really came as a surprise because she had shown no interest in the subject to me.  I think it is because she had already discussed it with her friends and didn't think I could shed any more light on the subject, she thinks a lot about the knowledge her friends have even though it isn't complete.  I expected this to come up within another two to three years but not while she is in second grade.  I will definitely check out those books. 

[MoonStarFalling]

From Diapers to Dating is a good book for parents. Sounds pretty reasonable that her friends are already talking about it. It's good that it came up so you know now that she needs to get accurate information from you.

[AAK]

Originally Posted by LynnS6 

We really liked:

It's Not the Stork -- I think (but I don't remember) that it's a little more detailed than It's So Amazing, which might be appropriate for her age.

I'm thinking of buying the next one up for ages 9-12 (ds is 9) called "It's Perfectly Normal".

Actually, "It's Not the Stork" is the one intended for the youngest group (4 and up).  "It's So Amazing" is more detail than that and say for ages 7 and up.  "It's Perfectly Normal" is listed as 9 and up.  

I have both "It's So Amazing" and "It's Perfectly Normal"-- and think that "It's So Amazing" does a great job introducing sex.  I used it with my oldest in second grade.  She now reads the older one and I am using the other with my current second grader.  

I like the books, but actually get a bit annoyed with the comic book bird/bee style.  But the kids like them, they are factual, and I think the fun "look" of the book has helped keep the discussion stay easy going (even when they are getting a little uneasy).

Amy
 

[LynnS6]

Darn! I suspected I'd gotten it backward. Anyway, what AAK said. They're really good books.

[averlee]

By age 8 your daughter needs to know about periods & puberty. Some girls begin to menstruate around age 9, and you wouldn't want her to be frightened. Also by 8 she should know the proper names for vulva, vagina, clitoris. And she should understand what sexual abuse is. I also think understanding the basics of intercourse, and that sex is supposed to feel nice, and most importantly that relationships should feel nice, is appropriate for an 8 yr old.

[One_Girl]

Originally Posted by averlee 

By age 8 your daughter needs to know about periods & puberty. Some girls begin to menstruate around age 9, and you wouldn't want her to be frightened. Also by 8 she should know the proper names for vulva, vagina, clitoris. And she should understand what sexual abuse is. I also think understanding the basics of intercourse, and that sex is supposed to feel nice, and most importantly that relationships should feel nice, is appropriate for an 8 yr old.

My dd knows all about periods and puberty and has since she was 7 and started puberty.  I I let her know when I need to get pads and tampons or that I need to change them and I really make it a normal part of life so it isn't something she feels scared about.  She is very excited about the changes she is going through and is having a wonderful experience with it.  We have read books on the subject geared towards younger girls starting puberty.  She also knows the anatomically correct terms for all of her body parts and appropriate touch versus inappropriate and has since she was very little, her preschool and kindergarten had a really good curricullum that covered that. 

Sex is really the only thing she doesn't know about and I did not teach her about sex because she didn't voice any curiosity about it and I was waiting for her to bring it up or learn about it in the class we will take at Planned Parenthood when she is 9.  My mom taught me about sex and showed me the nature of sex videos when I was 8 but it really bored me and I didn't take a lot in.  I remember being interested in sex and talking about it with friends in 5th grade, but I didn't totally understand it until much later.  I didn't want to start so early that she got bored with the subject and blanked out what I tell her about it.