As much of a donkey-hat as STBX has been... I would have never predicted this.
Haven't been on here in forever so in summary: Four years ago at this time, he announced he had cheated and he left. Came back a few months later saying he wanted this [marriage/family] and not that. Several months and some erratic behavior later, he went to work one night and never returned. Long story short all his mental issues, drug/alcohol abuse, and infidelities.... you get the picture. So for awhile he was good about staying with DD [now five years old] when I had school and he would come visit and call... then he started getting weird and disappearing. And boom: Last Christmas [a few days after actually] he came here to see DD. Then we heard nothing, literally, nothing from him until AUGUST and that was bc he needed the title to his truck. He saw her for 30m minutes in Kroger where we met to give him the title. Promised to be around. Called for awhile. And now we haven't seen or heard from him since. My friends who knew him, even knowing his other major flaws, cannot believe it. Needless to say, at the beginning of summer break, when we hadnt seen him since Christmas, i finally get divorce proceedings underway. i only know that he is still alive bc i get the child support payments. he never answers his phone or even texts. [edited to add: oh and he is supposedly clean now. he is in school to be a nurse. my thoughts on this are that putting yourself in free access to any pill you want is dangerous and also he needs to learn to take care of people closer to home before taking care of others. at any rate he is either lying about his sobriety--which seems the most likely answer--or he was actually a better dad as a user].
this is the way he operates. he gets done with a chapter and drops it. he did it to his parents. and i would be fine with him doing it to me. but she is not a chapter. she asked me the other night if i had told daddy to stay away from her.
1. Any other mamas here who have had this situation? how did you handle?
2. while i think i am doing a fine job in trying to be all she needs, i sometimes wonder about some counseling for her. she needs to get these feelings out and while I am always available, i think we need a pro. thoughts?
3. feel free to add anything. i am just an angry mama bear and am willing to hear all stories and advice!