I am new to this forum. Today is Christmas Eve, and I was so stressed out the whole day. I felt so horrible that my child had to be with me. Me who is so stressed, overwhelmed, and lonely. We made little trips outside the home to buy cookies and carrots for Santa, to deliver a present for a friend. I dreaded coming home. Home, where I am my child's only entertainment. Home where my lonliness becomes deafening. I am so sad, so lonely, to the point where I can't even hide it from my child. My child looks over at me concerned all day. I sometimes think she would be so much better off with my ex husband. He has so much support from his parents and extended family. I literally have nobody. Any help I receive, I have to pay for, ie: babysitters. When I separated from my husband, I moved to the US from Asia with my child. I started anew. And I am lonely. It is just the two of us, so my child sticks to me and sometimes, I can't breath. i want to run away. I want space, I need someone I can just talk to.
Tonight is Christmas Eve, and I'm crying, alone. I go down my contact list, and realize there's really no one who I could call, no one who I could really confide in.