What's going on??

[journeywooz]

I’m not sure where to start.  Our 20 mo DD has always been an eager nurser, usually nursing frequently throughout day and night.  We’ve gone through lots of nursing issues like pulling hair, biting, kicking normally around the time she’s teething or sick.  Which’s happening now.

We co-sleep and live in a one-bedroom place with a king bed and she has her little bed attached to ours.  She usually nurses about 2-3 times a night.  Daytime nursing I can usually deal with, but nighttime has gotten really bad lately.  Last night, she was latched on ALL night.  When she’d drift off, I’d slip my nipple out and turn my back—two minutes later, she’s screaming, clawing at me, demanding milk. 

She started being this insistent about two weeks before we moved, and it’s been a long month and half.  She wants to nurse all day and all night.  I take her out on bike rides and get plenty of outdoor exposure.   She seems to be in pain, and we try to keep her distracted—we read books, do lots of things together. She hasn’t been showing much interest in food.  DH and BIL keeps feeding her sugary foods and drinks, thinking it’s nothing—despite our discussions on why we don’t need sugar at this point.  Now that’s all she wants.  She also refuses to eat much of her snacks or meals.  It’s driving me nuts with all the extra nursing. 

I’m trying to figure out if it’s her two-year old molars, or all the new changes we’re dealing with.  Our bedtime routine has always been the same, except for the last two nights DH put her down to sleep.  With warming socks hydrotherapy, she goes to sleep easier and sleeps for longer stretches (nurses 4-7 times a night) but we can’t always give her a bath every night.   She’s been so cranky, clingy at times.  Super happy and easygoing at others.  It’s extreme ups and downs. 

I feel so drained, always hungry and worn out.  Something has to go.  I tried nightweaning a while back, but it didn’t go too well at all.  DH suggested that I pump milk, but I’m not sure how that’d help and it’s such a huge hassle, he doesn’t realize.  I pump for over a hour for the tiniest amount of milk.  Am I drying up?

[Marissamom]

I have a few thoughts, though none of these may be right. the first thing that pops out to me is that if she's not getting protein and fat in her food, she's going to try to get it through milk. I've noticed with my 19 month old that she's going through a phase where all she asks for is white carbs, but if I offer something like cheese or eggs she'll usually eat a ton of it, also, for her breakfast is her biggest meal, and if she doesn't have a good breakfast she doesn't do well the rest of the day. and I have to be careful about anything too sugary, because she will get a sugar high and then crash, or she'll end up vomiting. when she crashes she immediately wants to nurse. 

she may also be going through a phase where she's a really light sleeper, and you turning over is waking her up and she then wants to nurse to go back to sleep.

it could be teething, but it sounds like a long time to be going through teething without any teeth coming through. has she been playing with her ears? some kids have ear pain along with the teething of the molars. 

you did say she seems to be in pain, how is she showing this? (crankiness, clingyness, crying when she eats something, increased nursing...) I've seen some parents claim their child is in pain, when really it's that their child is exhausted, or needy because of something else that's going on. DD went through a period of crankiness and clingyness because she was getting too many carbs and not enough of everything else.

[dandylioncloud]

Originally Posted by Marissamom 

I have a few thoughts, though none of these may be right. the first thing that pops out to me is that if she's not getting protein and fat in her food, she's going to try to get it through milk. I've noticed with my 19 month old that she's going through a phase where all she asks for is white carbs, but if I offer something like cheese or eggs she'll usually eat a ton of it, also, for her breakfast is her biggest meal, and if she doesn't have a good breakfast she doesn't do well the rest of the day. and I have to be careful about anything too sugary, because she will get a sugar high and then crash, or she'll end up vomiting. when she crashes she immediately wants to nurse. 

she may also be going through a phase where she's a really light sleeper, and you turning over is waking her up and she then wants to nurse to go back to sleep.

it could be teething, but it sounds like a long time to be going through teething without any teeth coming through. has she been playing with her ears? some kids have ear pain along with the teething of the molars. 

you did say she seems to be in pain, how is she showing this? (crankiness, clingyness, crying when she eats something, increased nursing...) I've seen some parents claim their child is in pain, when really it's that their child is exhausted, or needy because of something else that's going on. DD went through a period of crankiness and clingyness because she was getting too many carbs and not enough of everything else.

Thank you so much for replying!  Everything you said hit right on the nose for us.  She's only eating cheese or eggs, maybe some apples.  She used to never be such a picky eater at all and would eat anything that was on her plate.  I'm not sure how to convince her to eat more protein and vegetables.

She signs and lets me know when she's in pain.  She'll sign "hurt" and "ouch."  But she doesn't show me where when I ask where it hurts.  She'd cry a light cry for hours and hours.  It all started about two months ago when I think about it.  We just moved four hours away, but our routines are all the same and I took extra care to see that she takes good naps but that isn't guaranteed.  I feel so non-functional those days. 

Would vitamins help her get back out of that cycle?  I'm not sure what to do.  She really isn't looking good, veins showing through her forehead.  She's so tired, clumsy and has bruises all over her from falling all over the place, hitting her head.  I feel like a such terrible mama.

[carrierwright]

A vitamin supplement probably isn't a bad idea. If you have a supportive pedi perhaps you could have her iron checked w/a simple finger prick(low levels can cause fatigue) If she's doing dairy a lot her calcium and b vitamins are probably fine...Bfing constantly isn't part of the problem I bet, just a symptom so that an attached mama knows something's up! Don't ignore your gut, go ahead and investigate. Good mom!