Hi , I am asking advice for my partner , he´s stepdad to my 4 older kids , father to our mutual daughter .
My oldest son loves him , no problems there , my youngest son (age 10) is fine with him except for the occasional father-son disagreement , and my older daughter is really Daddy´s girl . Now , my second son on the other hand is making things hard for him , wherever and whenever he can . My partner really is trying , but my little , 12-year-old monster is making life hard for him every chance he gets . My DH is a softie and insecure , and he really wants to do a good job and my son , who has the same strong personality as me , really feeds on that .
We had a very hard life for a long time and my partner is trying to make it as good for us as possible , but DS disobeys and badmouthes him , makes him feel stupid and unwanted every chance he gets .
We try to be consistent , we stick together on the rules , but it´s soooo hard sometimes , on everybody and on our relationship . I love my man and I love my son , but I feel like a referee sometimes , like being pulled in two directions .
Oh , their father is completely out of the picture , he got killed in Irak , when my daughter was just born , so my DH is the only father figure , they´ve ever really known .
HELP , how do you handle the dynamics with a pre-teen ????