Could use some advice. About two months ago, my sister in law (husband's brothers wife) decided last minute to take a job she was offered. She'd been a SAHP for years and I think saw an opportunity and siezed it. I admire that...
She asked me, in front of a crowd, at a family function, if I could take her daughter (5) all day one day a week. I felt very put on the spot, particularly as it was in front of my inlaws (who we live near) and not a very planned conversation. I agreed to it. She has never offered to pay, and it is awkward with family to ask. Her family does not need her work income--and we are lucky we can get by w/o her paying. The job is more for her to get back to working vs. a financial need. Though she did inform me at Christmas how nice it was to have a paycheck.
So, I've been watching her child (and my two) for 5 weeks now. 8:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. It is fun as one of my daughters is her age--but a really rough day as our tempermental two year old has a horrid time w/ it. She'll play with her older sister usually, but three becomes a crowd, etc. and I have to constantly intervene. I find i get much less done in the house, etc.
I've done all meals and snacks--nothing is ever sent as a favor, aside from one day a bag of pretzels. I transport, etc.
I guess I am feeling a bit resentful of the situation--though I didn't expect to be paid, I did think that perhaps my inlaws would contribute in other ways to us...bringing dinner the night I watched her, etc. And I know it isn't necessarily correct for me to expect this w/o asking--I guess I just think of what I would do if I was recieving that favor. To be honest, the two times I have ever had my SIL care for my older child, it was for 2.5 hours and I did bring them dinner, pre-made, and a bottle of wine!
So, I feel sort of selfish--but I also feel to validate my efforts, my day, etc. I need to ask for compensation--I'm thinking of asking for half price of what she is paying another mother on a different day...the half price would be 25$ for the day. My niece can eat--so I think I am putting almost 5$ worth of food into her some weeks (I try to buy organic fruits/veggies, etc.)...
Am I being selfish? is it awkward to ask for compensation when I already said I would watch her? I think part of it is a self-estemm thing--make me feel validated for my efforts. My niece is Lovely, but quite clingy and gets wiped out by the end of the day, and really clingy.
Advice would be great.