Television: What do you think? - Page 3

[emilysmama]

We have nothing, ever.  No TV, no cable, no movies, no DVDs, no DVR, no Netflicks, no video games, no nothing. Started that way from infancy, and still at it at almost 7 years of age.  We will stay that way for the foreseeable future.  For our family, TV and everything else is a very slippery slope.  It is just easier and less hassle for our family to go cold turkey than to do moderation.  So in our family, we do not do moderation, but we are just strange like that.  But the no TV is not based on age.  It doesn't work in our family to prohibit or limit TV for younger ages, and let the adults watch some TV.  For our family, it's just easier to have an across the board moratorium on TV.  I will say, however, that we constantly have the radio on tuned to NPR, and commercial talk radio.

[loraxc]

DD is almost 7 and has watched very, very little TV in her life and few movies. I would estimate she watches less than 3 hours/month of anything.

DS is almost 3 and has seen rather more TV. I have a part-time job whose demands spill over into my at-home time with him (DD is in school then) and I need a few hours of time for that. He watches, hmm, 3 hours a week, and has since about two. (One hour a day on the mornings he is not at daycare.)

I am very happy with the effects being basically TV-free has had on DD. She is highly imaginative and entertains herself very well. She also seems younger than many of her peers--less smart-alecky and sophisticated-- and is much more sensitive to violence and frightening imagery. This is sometimes a plus and sometimes a minus. Some of this is probably her, and some of it surely the lack of TV, I think.

We used to be completely TV-free, but I freely admit that we now use it on as a babysitter for those 3 hours/week and on rare occasions of crisis (eg. both parents have a stomach bug, emergency need to pack up and clean for a trip, work crisis). I have let go of guilt about that. I do not kid myself that it has educational value, though. It's purely a useful convenience.

As the kids get older we will probably institute a weekly family movie night, but DS is still too young, IMO.

[katelove]

Originally Posted by sssheri 

Love this discussion! I am still curious what people's reasons are for going tv-free. 

Our reasons are

- there are no developmental benefits

- it has a negative effect on vocabulary and imaginative play *even* when it is just on in the background and the child isn't actually watching it

- children who watch TV before school in the mornings have a harder time settling down to learn at school

- it discourages physical activity and outdoor play

- it discourages family interaction and togetherness (IMO watching a TV show together is not the same as playing a game together)

- I don't like the comercialisation of characters, stories etc

Is watching a bit of TV the worst thing in the world? No, but we can do without it and we believe that our family will be better for it. We may not be TV free forever but it feels right to us at the moment.

Oh, and technically, DH and I are not TV free as we do watch some shows on the internet but only when J is asleep and we use headphones. So she is TV free and we are TV limited I guess.

ETA - I have always said that I would make exceptions for things which are of major cultural or family significance. I would have let her watch the moon landing for example. And, my Dad made a movie when he was younger. He's just had it converted to DVD from the original reels. DH has never seen it so we plan to watch it all together as an extended family. I'm ok with that for J.

[Spring Lily]

Wow, I'm surprised by the responses that say there are no developmental or educational benefits to watching TV. Like everything, it is all about moderation and careful selection of what the kids see.

For example, my DD (4) loves Dinosaur Train on PBS. She now knows all about Cretaceous and Jurassic time periods, repeats after them when they teach long dinosaur names (that I can barely pronounce myself), and has learned a lot of other vocabulary and information. I mentioned a raccoon is nocturnal, and she said, "Oh, that means they are awake at night and their eyes are different than ours." Thanks, TV! She told me that we're herbivores because we're vegetarians, and that some animals eat each other, and those are called carnivores. True!

She also likes to watch Miss Spider's Sunnypatch friends sometimes, and when I was making dinner she told me that the mushrooms are a fungi. She's told me quite a few facts about science and nature, and when we were talking about the concept of adoption and how families can look different, they had already discussed it on there. It's made her less scared of spiders and bugs because she knows a lot more facts about them, and it has encouraged her to draw them and talk about them--continuing the learning process. The show also reinforced what we've taught her about how important it is to share feelings--they showed a rain cloud that felt all stormy and upset and then when it let it's feelings (rain) out, it felt happy and light again.

The other day she told me she wanted to go ride her "B-I-K-E! That spells bike, mom." Yes, she learned that by watching Word World, on PBS. She's also learned a lot of consonant blends from that show and lots of examples of the silent e. Oswald (Noggin) and Super Why (PBS) have both often addressed relationships with friends, what you say when someone's upsetting you at school, what to do when a friend is mad, how to ask a new friend to play with you. Social skills, another development lesson.

TV is not all bad. There IS good stuff on there, if you're careful. And if you limit it. We have certain times we allow it, and the rest of the day it's quiet or we listen to music.

And personally I don't see how having the radio on in the background is any better for language development than leaving the TV on. Background noise and talking is background noise.

[UnschoolnMa]

I am in the super minority on MDC in that my family loves TV. My home had multiple TV's as often as possible so we could all watch diff things at diff times. :) For us, the key was discussion and parental modeling of personal limits and respect. We've learned many things from TV and we've had great fun too.

I think TV helped my kids' imagination by leaps and bounds. I think it helped my art and I think it helped my son become a terrific writer.

[AirMiami]

How do tv free families with extremely high needs toddlers who won't be redirected and new babies do it? I babysit an infant a few times a week and my 23 month old gets hysterical when I wear him. All of a sudden she NEEDS  to nurse right that second, every time. She's very territorial with me and she will scream and wake the baby up if I don't put something on for 20 minutes or so while I put him to sleep and get him down. 

[lach]

Originally Posted by AirMiami 

How do tv free families with extremely high needs toddlers who won't be redirected and new babies do it? I babysit an infant a few times a week and my 23 month old gets hysterical when I wear him. All of a sudden she NEEDS  to nurse right that second, every time. She's very territorial with me and she will scream and wake the baby up if I don't put something on for 20 minutes or so while I put him to sleep and get him down. 

Beats the heck out of me.  I can't say for sure that she had never seen TV before (I do remember letting her watch the end of the world series because she woke up and I didn't want to miss the end by putting her back down right then!), but the first time I remember really putting on the TV for DD was when DS got to the point where he needed a fairly constant nap schedule and couldn't just fall asleep on the drop of a dime wherever and whenever.  She would just get very loud every single day at the exact moment that his eyes would drift shut while I was putting him down for naps, and his eyes would fly open and I'd have to do everything all over again.  MUCH easier to set her up with a snack and turn on the TV.  DS got easier to put down for naps after a while, and DD got less clingy, so I can't remember exactly how long we did this routine, but it did fizzle out after a few months and we went back to no TV.

[katelove]

Originally Posted by katelove 

Originally Posted by sssheri 

Love this discussion! I am still curious what people's reasons are for going tv-free. 

Our reasons are

- there are no developmental benefits

- it has a negative effect on vocabulary and imaginative play *even* when it is just on in the background and the child isn't actually watching it

- children who watch TV before school in the mornings have a harder time settling down to learn at school

- it discourages physical activity and outdoor play

- it discourages family interaction and togetherness (IMO watching a TV show together is not the same as playing a game together)

- I don't like the comercialisation of characters, stories etc

Is watching a bit of TV the worst thing in the world? No, but we can do without it and we believe that our family will be better for it. We may not be TV free forever but it feels right to us at the moment.

Oh, and technically, DH and I are not TV free as we do watch some shows on the internet but only when J is asleep and we use headphones. So she is TV free and we are TV limited I guess.

ETA - I have always said that I would make exceptions for things which are of major cultural or family significance. I would have let her watch the moon landing for example. And, my Dad made a movie when he was younger. He's just had it converted to DVD from the original reels. DH has never seen it so we plan to watch it all together as an extended family. I'm ok with that for J.

Originally Posted by Spring Lily 

Wow, I'm surprised by the responses that say there are no developmental or educational benefits to watching TV. Like everything, it is all about moderation and careful selection of what the kids see.

For example, my DD (4) loves Dinosaur Train on PBS. She now knows all about Cretaceous and Jurassic time periods, repeats after them when they teach long dinosaur names (that I can barely pronounce myself), and has learned a lot of other vocabulary and information. I mentioned a raccoon is nocturnal, and she said, "Oh, that means they are awake at night and their eyes are different than ours." Thanks, TV! She told me that we're herbivores because we're vegetarians, and that some animals eat each other, and those are called carnivores. True!

She also likes to watch Miss Spider's Sunnypatch friends sometimes, and when I was making dinner she told me that the mushrooms are a fungi. She's told me quite a few facts about science and nature, and when we were talking about the concept of adoption and how families can look different, they had already discussed it on there. It's made her less scared of spiders and bugs because she knows a lot more facts about them, and it has encouraged her to draw them and talk about them--continuing the learning process. The show also reinforced what we've taught her about how important it is to share feelings--they showed a rain cloud that felt all stormy and upset and then when it let it's feelings (rain) out, it felt happy and light again.

The other day she told me she wanted to go ride her "B-I-K-E! That spells bike, mom." Yes, she learned that by watching Word World, on PBS. She's also learned a lot of consonant blends from that show and lots of examples of the silent e. Oswald (Noggin) and Super Why (PBS) have both often addressed relationships with friends, what you say when someone's upsetting you at school, what to do when a friend is mad, how to ask a new friend to play with you. Social skills, another development lesson.

TV is not all bad. There IS good stuff on there, if you're careful. And if you limit it. We have certain times we allow it, and the rest of the day it's quiet or we listen to music.

And personally I don't see how having the radio on in the background is any better for language development than leaving the TV on. Background noise and talking is background noise.

 Ok, I guess what Ishould have said is that there are no developmental benefits which are *exclusive* to TV. I have no doubt that children who watch TV learn things. I have learned things from TV myself  but, I think most of what one could learn from watching TV could also be learned some other way. And I would, personally, prefer to seek out those other ways.

And I agree about the radio and language development. From what I've read neither TV nor radio have anywhere near the benfits that "an engaged and loving adult do" (and I can't remember where that quote came from but if I find it again I'll come back and re-post. I do think the radio is a better option if the choice is either TV or radio as radio does not have the visual stimulation which is part of the problem with TV.

[sssheri]

This discussion has really helped me feel confident in our choice regarding tv. Pretty much whatever works for you. We love TV and both had tv growing up and don't feel like it has had a bad influence on either of our lives. We both have many interests and many higher degrees- so it can't be all that bad. We will stop having the tv on as background but watch it when we want to watch it. As our daughter gets older we will monitor the tv watching and make sure she is getting lots of other experiences (and that she can handle turning it off when it is time). We will discuss with her what she is watching and help her develop critical thinking skills at a young age in regards to what she watches, advertising, etc. 

I really can't stand everything in a child's life being weighed against its developmental benefits. (I'm not saying that is what anyone on this discussion is doing, mostly I mean toys, etc). I know my child will develop: learn to see, touch, sit, stand, walk, and think. Sometimes a toy is just something to play with and tv is something to keep you entertained. 

[Spring Lily]

Originally Posted by katelove 

 Ok, I guess what Ishould have said is that there are no developmental benefits which are *exclusive* to TV. I have no doubt that children who watch TV learn things. I have learned things from TV myself  but, I think most of what one could learn from watching TV could also be learned some other way. And I would, personally, prefer to seek out those other ways.

And I agree about the radio and language development. From what I've read neither TV nor radio have anywhere near the benfits that "an engaged and loving adult do" (and I can't remember where that quote came from but if I find it again I'll come back and re-post. I do think the radio is a better option if the choice is either TV or radio as radio does not have the visual stimulation which is part of the problem with TV.

OK, that makes much more sense. I agree with you in general. With my 1st child we were TV free--until I ended up on bedrest for months and had twins. I think it's great if a family choses to be TV free and has the time, energy, and ability to stick with that. But I also know that the reality of daily life doesn't always allow for that in every family. As long as there isn't judgment on either side, each choice deserves respect for their decision.

There's a big difference between allowing some carefully prescreened TV w/no commercials, and going overboard on junk screen time. I'd guess most TV-watching families on this site are likely putting more thought into it than mainstream families do.

[COgirl19]

Originally Posted by lonegirl 

I am opposite to most here.  While we didn't actively sit ds in front of the tv as an infant it was often on in the background.  Yes, background noise.  Until ds was nearly 3.5 he rarely saw comercial adverts as we had on CBC kids, TVO kids, Treehouse and PBS none which aired commercials....when he first saw an ad it was for something he already had and he would get annoyed at the tv because it was telling him to get something he already had. I disagree that a child can't play with as much imagination if thee tv is on all the time....I haven't seen many children with a more active imagination and creative play than ds.  I think because it is on often he has become desensitized to it...He never gets that glassy-eyed look stuck in front of it.  He has his fave shows but doesn't have to sit and watch all the time.  We lso have Netflix that we watch  (ds can totally find what he is looking for faster than I can lol)

This is exactly how our DD is. If we let her watch one show that is all she wants to do, all day every day. She gets that glassy eyed look and you can't even talk to her or get her attention otherwise. Then the tantrums start when it is time to move on to something else.  We have noticed a very big positive change in her behavior when we severely limit or eliminate TV. I know this is NOT true for every child but for our DD1 this is the way that works best for our family. And honestly, even PBS Kids stuff is marketed like crazy these days  so we just don't feel comfortable with it with much of any kind of TV. For a now, DD1 can watch whatever cartoons she wants on Saturday mornings on my laptop computer over the internet. Other than that we are TV-free. We may eliminate TV all together but this works for us right now.

[DevaMajka]

I like watching tv. It's relaxing and gets my mind off of things. With ds1, he didn't actively watch tv much until 2, but I watched tv with him in the room (not paying much attention). When he was younger (3ish), he used to sit and watch tv with me sometimes- adult stuff, but nothing scary in any way. At first, he was able to self regulate, and I didn't limit tv until it became clear that he was no longer able to self regulate. His current limit is 1 hour a day (which includes computer games), and he's fine with it when we tell him no more. If he's watching a movie, we let him watch all of it, regardless of length.

We do talk about commercials and how things usually look cooler than they are, and how "they" say/show things that imply something other than the truth (ie: commercials for shoes where the boy can jump really high and do cool flips. Ds happened to have the same shoes, so we talked about how it looked like the shoes would make you jump higher, but they really don't.)

With ds2, he's too busy to pay much attention to the tv for the most part. Sometimes when ds1 is watching tv, ds2 will sit with him and "watch." I think it's more about sitting with big brother than watching tv. It's cute, and it gives me a break to be able to cook or clean. He also likes America's Funniest Home Videos which I sometimes have on, but that's the only other show I've seen him take any interest in.

All in all, I let ds1 watch tv because he enjoys it, and I don't think it's harmful in moderation. Granted, there ARE better things he could be doing, but he has lots of hours in the day to do stuff.

[The4OfUs]

We love TV here.  We watch everything from educational programming to low brow comedy.  Our kids watch almost exclusively commercial free TV, with a few exceptions - and the exceptions are done with us in the room so we can talk about the commercials.  My kids are already, at 4-1/2 and 7, familiar with the concept of advertisers making things look cooler than they really are just so you'll buy their stuff. 

As far as inhibiting imaginative play, I'll be the anecdata for the exception to that rule.  My kids are very imaginative and have watched a fair amount of TV in their lives, including having it on in the background sometimes. 

Our kids do a lot of different things.  Watching TV is one of them.  Sometimes it's "good" TV (like "How it's Made"), sometimes it's "bad" TV (like Tom & Jerry).  They're well rounded kids.  I'm sure we could do without TV, but why would we want to?  In and of itself, TV is not bad...it's a tool/resource just like any other if you use it wisely.  Sometimes seeing something happen is better than reading about it, and easier than trying to get the resources together to do it yourself.  And sometimes easy is OK.

[peaceful_mama]

I have *totally* changed my position on owning a DVR.  I have figured out that I can record the TV shows I want to see without it, we can all still watch TV if we want to without it, and it is worth giving up the ability to fast forward through commercials to save a little money for my family to use for other things we consider more important than television.

If you direct things toward the television, it will start to take a more center-stage place in your life.  If you consciously try to direct your attention away from television, it will move away from being the central focus of a family's life.  Or one of the main focuses.

It's not about whether or not you actually own or use a television at all ever.  It is about how you feel about the television's role in your household.  You can change that if it is truly important to you.