Crisis of confidence after dr. appt.: solids & no flu shot

[McGucks]

Went for DS's 9 month check up today.  He was concerned about baby's lack of appetite for solids.  Though DS eats a good range of foods (has had maybe 40 foods, mostly whole foods that are things we are eating--and we eat healthy), he doesn't each much of them (usually around 2-4 tablespoons of different things a day).  He is a big boy--97% for weight & 75% for length--and doc. says he needs more solids and to cut back on nursing before solid feedings.  However, I rarely nurse before our sit-down family meals and I told dr. this.  Our nursing is predominantly prior to naps or bedtime and DS rarely snack-nurses at other times.  Is it ok that he isn't that much into solids?  Also, he seemed quite concerned that neither we nor DS were getting flu shots and I couldn't really articulate why we weren't other than to say none of us were at high-risk for flu (I am a SAHM, so DS doesn't have day care exposure to worry about).  Our dr. is a DO and less traditional than some, but I still am feeling kind of bad.  Please let me know a) about the food thing, and b) thoughts on avoiding flu shots.  I am new to the natural parenting kind of thing, so I don't have confidence in myself with some aspects of all this.  Thanks!

Edited by McGucks - 12/27/10 at 6:06pm

[lucy_v]

Sounds like your DS eats as much as my DD (same age), and our ped was fine with it. Well, actually, he didn't ask specifically how much she eats, probably because her weight gain is fine. And your DS is obviously gaining well too! He was more concerned with (and happy about) the variety of healthy foods she eats, and you're doing great with that.  So I definitely wouldn't worry about the food. As for the flu shot, I got it for both of us. I didn't get it myself when I was pregnant, but other than that, I've gotten it most years. (And when I didn't, I got the flu, and it was awful.) For DD, she's not in daycare, but I have her around other kids enough that I wanted to get her the shot. I may be in the minority here on that though. You're his mama, though, so trust your instincts. :)

[HappyWoman]

You are doing a FANTASTIC job. It sounds as though everything is going well - you have a healthy DS who nurses, eats a good range of healthy foods, and is gaining weight. Babies vary in how much they eat. In your case I wouldn't worry at all.

No one in our household gets the flu shot, and we haven't had the flu in years. We wash our hands frequently - it's the first thing we do when we get home from being out. We also take Vitamin D, eat little to no sugar (sugar suppresses the immune system), try to get enough sleep/rest, and we use a neti pot (salt water nasal rinse.)

We have a regular pediatrician MD, who is in our insurance plan, and we also see a Naturopath pediatrician a few times a year who advises us on natural remedies. We haven't had to call her yet fortunately, but it's nice to know that we could if we needed her.

[Knitting Mama]

Cecilia eats in much the same manner. She's game for anything I put in front of her, but only eats one piece or chunk or whatnot. So, you're not alone mama! I think you're doing just fine!

[Magali]

Honestly at 9 months my focus would be more on breastfeeding than solids.  My ds was nursing constantly at that age and food was for fun.  As for the flu shot, we don't give any vax to our kids at all.  I can understand why people choose most other vaccines, but the flu shot is a real head scratcher to me.  We don't do well baby visits at all with our kids because I only see a dr. in an emergency or if there is something specific we want to talk about.  You've come to the right place for support, I know it can be rough sometimes.

[nia82]

You are doing a great job and your ped is NOT! Your son is very tall and weighs proportionally enough. No reason to push solids and cut down on nursing. DS always was in high percentiles too, and he did not even eat a single spoon of solids until 11 months. Yup, that is right, 11 months. And that was a bite of yobaby yogurt. He didn't eat more than 5 kind of solids until 18 months, and only at 24 months he started to be interested in solids. No need to force solids on your baby and deny nursing! Unfortunately, peds know very little about breastfeeding, solids and infant's nutrition. I hear bad advice like from yours all the time, poor babies whose moms follow the advice blindly and hence sabotage their nursing relationship and force their poor kiddos to eat solids.

As for the flu shot, that's your decision, we don't do flu shots in our house, but we vaccinate not before the age 2 and then only very little shots. DH has to get it (military), but of course I wouldn't get a flu shot if you paid me to....

[GuavaGirl]

For some of you that have mentioned being anti-flu shot....could you say why?

I never planned on getting one for me or my baby either, so was a little confused when my dr. said "you have to!"  (my dr., not the ped.)

I still haven't yet, but that's mostly because other things keep coming up.

I did when I was pregnant, because of the whole H1N1 thing.

From what I understand, the benefit of getting your baby the shot is because potentially the young are more at risk of dying from the flu, right?

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

I have learned to lie to the doctor when I'm not sure I'll like the answer. Actually, in the end, I changed doctors to one who was more in line with my beliefs, but when it came to solids and sleep, I lied through my teeth to our pediatrician...

As for flu shots, our GP is on the fence about them. After discussing with him, DH and I elected to get the shot, and not vaccinate our 5-year-old, or the baby, who he says will get the immunity through me. I had a nasty case of the flu 3 years ago and was out of commission for a week (totally oblivious to the world!) and I can't do that when I have a baby, so I was going to get one anyway. But it was nice to hear from a medical professional that babies CAN get the immunity through their mothers.

[mom2happy]

Wow! 40 foods at 9 months- that's huge.

My 8 month old has poked at a chunk of avocado and licked a pear twice. That's it.

No vax here either. She is healthy and fat and our ped is delighted with the way she is developing.

Dont worry at all!

[skyewriter]

You are doing great!!!!!  Your baby knows whats best, and that is your super nutritious, uber healthy, easily digested, absolutely perfect  breastmilk! Mine never even licked thier first apples until 11mo... and the ped thought they were great. By the by, just to throw in a little science here, babies really don't have the stomach acid to digest solids (read: non-breast milk) until about 9mo! (Sister has masters in dietetics Gainsville FL) So rock on, you're doing the best thng possible for that baby... nurse on demand, trust the baby, nurse, nurse, nurse..... find another doctor?

Flu shot? Isn't it officially reccomended for at risk people? (Don't go there, the shot if full of nasty stuff, and isn't even the current strain of flu....etc) Trust yourself, research what your shakey on.... you can always tell them that another time would be better or something, but if you let them push you into something you can't go back...

[blessedwithboys]

I'd say you're doing great on the solids front, with the only asterisk being that a baby that age should be nursed prior to being offered solids.  As for flu shots...I see it as one big science experiment that uses people as guinea pigs...a new experiment every year...nope, not for my kids thankyouverymuch!

[northerngirl]

I agree that your babe seems to be doing good on the solids. I would definitely nurse first. Mama milk is SO good for your little one and will help with their immunity.

My dd 10 months today, eats avacado and broccoli a few times a week. I have offered other solids, but she has not taken to them yet. 

We do not do flu shots (or other shots). The way I see it, is if you are healthy in your eating, and exercising and sleeping well and taking some supplements you shouldn't need the flu shot.

Sure you may get the flu, but it's not going to take you down, you will have a fighting chance. I also believe that vitamin D plays a big role in keeping winter colds/flu at bay. We all supplement year round and have our levels checked routinely. Carlson makes some vit d drops that can easily be given to babies and kids. Dr Mercola has some good articles on vit D.

Is it possible to find a pedi that will work with you and not make you feel bad about how you are raising your child? You seem concerned about the choices he is offering you and you are the mama, you need to do what is best for your babe.

I found a really great holistic pediatrician

I asked around la leche league and prenatal yoga classes and the one I found came highly recommended. Maybe you could shop around. Given that fits with you insurance situation.

OR could you find a natropath to consult with about your concerns.

I don't think you are at high risk for the flu given your situation. Wash you hands often, eat well, get enough sleep, exercise.

One of our family member's friends recently got the flu shot and ended up with Guillain barre syndrome and was hospitalized.

Do some research for your self and make your own decision. Dr. do not always have the patient's best interest in mind.....$$$$$

[P.J.]

I was listening to a Naomi Aldort CD yesterday and she mentioned this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Raise-Healthy-Child-Spite-Doctor/dp/0345342763

I am so grateful that our ped is kind of hands-off. Last visit she did mention starting DS on rice cereal and I just sort of nodded and said uh-huh, and didn't bother to mention BLW as many doctors and people have not heard of it. And I just figured I don't need her or anyone's approval and why bother starting what could turn into a debate, kwim? As I see it, the pediatrician, and all doctors, are there for when we and our kids are out of balance and need specific medical advice. I see the point of wellbaby visits to make sure everything is ok, but basically I don't see the need to discuss every aspect of childrearing with a doctor, and I'm happy ours does the basic checkup but doesn't start nosing into our business as to how we're raising him and what exactly we're doing.

Fpr the OP I would echo the sentiment you are fine, don't let your doc cause you to doubt yourself (although that's natural as a doctor is a sort of authority). And if he or she continues to give too much unsolicited advice that conflicts with your parenting style then perhaps check out that book and/or look for a more suitable doctor. GL!

[laohaire]

I'm not sure my 5 year old eats 40 foods, lol.

She did not eat even a molecule of food until 13 months - and believe me, it wasn't from lack of effort on my part.

DD has a good friend whose mother says he didn't eat a speck of food until 18 months. (Both DD and her friend were breastfed).

You're not merely "not having a problem" but actually "doing fabulous!!!!!"

[Momsteader]

Don't worry about it mama :) My oldest didn't take to solids until over a year old, my other was all over them by 6 mos--grabbing food off our plate and getting very upset if he didn't get a bit.

As far as the flu shot, I feel like we don't NEED it to be healthy. We've never received it, and got the flu once in the past 14 years of having my kiddos. We all got it, yes it was bad, but we have good immune systems and we just took care of ourselves and did just fine. I was actually pregnant at the time, and while I was sicker, I still wasn't hospitalized or anything. Ironically, that same year one and only time we got it, my parents got it as well. They are compulsive about flu shots every single year.  So, to me, that sort of said....see...the shot is NOT any better than just good diet, hygiene, and your immune system!

You're doing a great job with your son :)  And to echo what PP have said, if you don't feel comfy with your ped, shop around a bit.  I personally found that a family practice doctor tends to be more hands off than a ped. They care for the whole family and know all of you and your habits and look at the whole picture. When I let ours know that we weren't vaxing, he just wrote "up to date on vax per mom/date" across the top of their chart and no one asked for several years...when I just again said 'yep...we're good' and they added the date they asked. It's also nice if you go in and you're both sick! You can get meds for both of you if needed (sometimes means a second office visit charge, but I don't mind that if we can get it all taken care of at once!).

[Quinalla]

I am high risk, so I get the flu shot, but if I wasn't I would be the same as you, why get it? If your ped can't come up with convincing arguments, then it sounds like you are right on with that one, but I would do more research yourself so you are more confident in your choice.

As for the foods, sounds fine to me. Sounds like you have a very efficient nurser there (jealous!) and sounds like he has a good palate! My daughter didn't eat much at first either and then suddenly took off, but he's obviously getting what he needs, so just keep offering, he'll be fine. So much obsession over food and infants and when they are breastfeeding, it just isn't that big of a deal, they'll eat more when they need to or want to. If he wasn't eating at all or only tolerating a couple things, sure I could see some concern, but you boy sounds like he is doing great!

I really like my ped, but I still get the occasional dumb question that leaves me scratching my head. At her 1 year appointment, the nurse is running through her list and one was "Does she obey instructions 75% of the time?" First I'm thinking, I hardly ever give her instructions, she's a baby, I just pick her up and we go or whatever, but the few times I do, I'm thinking no, definitely not. I think the question probably should be does she understand 75% of your instructions, probably, but follow them? Heck no