Do you allow "gifts" from XP's new partner into YOUR house? - Page 2

[Momtwice]

Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama 

Allow the gifts.  Get excited over them with her, that will help her to see that you accept that she has a relationship with her father and his girlfriend (wife?) as well.

I agree about allowing them (within reason of appropriateness, size and other appropriate boundaries) but asking her to "get excited" about them is asking too much and going too far in the other direction. That would be asking this mama to lie. I learned the art of the brief neutral "isn't that nice" kind of sentiment. Doesn't mean I have to pretend to feel excited.

[sublimeliving]

Yes, of course you are being overly sensitive. I think most people would feel this way if their husband cheated and left them. I don't like a lot of things in life, but I usually try to hide my crazy.

My parents divorced when I was a teen. My advice is as follows:

Don't involve your daughter in your jealousy or anger. Your problems are not her problems. Those gifts are just that, gifts; to take them away because of your issues is rude. Your ex is still her father, and his girlfriend may soon be her stepmother. She will have a relationship with this woman regardless of what you want. By making a big deal out of gifts (regardless of the look on her face), you are hurting your relationship with your daughter. 

[Goodmom2008]

To be honest, I think you need to take the high road.  It's your child's stuff, she is getting enjoyment from it.  And she will feel like she is in the middle if you refuse to let keep her gifts.  And that's not fair to her.  And she also may feel guilty for liking and wanting the stuff if she knows that it upsets you.  I would find a way to deal with the anger other than banning your child's stuff from the house.