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Can a teenager get their own lawyer? - Page 2

post #21 of 25
Originally Posted by Petie1104 View Post

I completely understand that, which is why I was wondering what HIS options were.  I think its a completely different message we are sending if we say, "we are willing to help you fight to adjust the visitiation schedule" which is what we are doing.  And then saying, "we will support you if you want to try to fight to get your mother's custody removed, but we will not fight to get this part done for you".  If he can make his case to a judge about her influence, and the judge agrees with him, then that is between him and the judge, rather than us saying, "yup, she's not supportive of your choices so lets cut her out of them".  I see both sides of this, so I'm not going into this lightly, it is a struggle.  But, if he can articulate WHY she shouldn't have a say so, and he can stand up and explain that himself, to the satisfaction of the court, then I see that different than me saying, "hey yeah, let's just get rid of anyone we don't agree with".  Maybe I'm fooling myself about that because I'm too close to the issue so secretly I want this to happen.  I have watched him get hurt time and time again, and part of me hopes that she loses all say so in his life.  But I am honestly trying to support him without judging what he wants, and without owning his issues, when those issues belong to him alone.


Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I seem to remember upthread that your dh has primary physical custody and they have joint legal?  If thats right, my lawyer (in NYC) explained that the difference between joint legal, and full legal aren't many, practically speaking.  She said that in joint legal, the custodial parent is usually the "tiebreaker" when parents disagree b/c thats who the child lives with, and so its hard for the non-custodial parent to "win" in an argument, and unless there is something HUGE happening that is detrimental to the child, then the custodial parent would "win" even in court.


If your dh's situation is slightly different, where there are "carve-outs" kind of, and each parent has complete discretion over specific aspects of decision making, then thats different, and maybe your dh should try to alter the arrangement so its pure joint custody. 


Does any of that make sense?  I'm going to check out your other thread, but if you and your dh pay for your dss to get a lawyer, and pay his court fee's, it will appear that you support him in going to court,  and he will likely see it that way as well - as a pp said it would look like if you don't like a person's say so then just go to court and get rid of them.

post #22 of 25

yes a child can. This happens a lot when a child is not being listened to in custody hearings

post #23 of 25

hi my name is christina, my dad seriously emotionally and phisacally abuses me. my mom is trying to get custody of me but we already had a court date and my dad won custody. i am 13 and i dnt know what to do. i need a good attorney to help me in the state of north dakota. I want to live with my friend amanda and her parents said it was fine if i could live with them. but they are in minnesota. So do u have any suggestions on wht to do??? i rlly need help. i cant keep living my life like this. the cops dont believe me even if i had proof that he hit me. so i need an attorney that is free and will help me. could u please help me. you can email me at







please help me


post #24 of 25


Hi Christina. I have to tell you that minors are not allowed to post on MDC and that the moderators will have to delete your account when they notice it. Sorry about that, it's nothing personal :(


You need to get your guidance counselor and/or nurse to report your situation to CPS. Don't be hysterical, but be the squeaky wheel. Go in every time that there's an incident of abuse at home and report it in detail. Ask them to take pictures of any marks you have on you. Make this THEIR problem, make them worry that they'll be criminally liable if they don't advocate for you, and trust me they'll call CPS. 


Once you have a worker, asked to be removed immediately. Keep asking. Make sure that you have her contact information and contact her every time there's an incident of abuse. Ask her to meet you at school to document any marks you have. It's the same routine as with the nurse and the guidance counselor. You will be put in foster care, which can be very hard, but if your mom is already fighting for custody it will help her case enormously. Going to live with friends in another state is probably not a realistic option, but getting put back with your mom probably is, as long as she doesn't have a serious record with CPS or reside with a felon or something major like that. 

post #25 of 25

What Super~Single~!Mama says is right - you/Dad paying for kiddo's lawyer is essentially saying that you support his desire to dremove Mom's legal custody. ANd it is unlikely that a court is going to go along with that. I *I* were the other parent? I would take it to court and cclaim parental alienation on your/Dad's part. Not a good plan, IMO.

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