Hi Bluebird (super long post, sorry!!)
I so hope I can say something which helps you. I also grew up Mormon, and still am...although I definitely "dabble" in other spiritual teachings. I went through a huge crisis in my life a few years back, and as devoted as I always have been, I almost left the church. I go now, but I have a vastly different perspective than I used to.
Please don't take this the wrong way...but it seems you are getting caught up in the bureaucracy and outward appearances of doing right--as defined by the church. Truly, doing right, is doing what God would have you do....not because He's some sort of dictator or control freak, but because He has the perspective on our life, on our souls, on the world, and seeks for our perfection and growth. The stronger your relationship with God, the more aware you will become of His intent and purposes for you, and the less reliant you will be on some outward set of rules. I don't drink alcohol/smoke/etc. not because "the church says so" but I have a deep sense of its value to me, and I recognize that any addiction is us turning to food/smoking/alcohol/whatever instead of turning to God.
I'm a little puzzled what you would be eating on the Word of Wisdom that would make you sick? I imagine grains, as a pp said. Many people are allergic to or have sensitivities to grains (myself included!). But the church should be a means of you becoming more spiritually aware and tuned to God. Not a means of telling you what to eat every single meal...kwim? I personally like Dr. Mercola's website for health info! Just like I like Mothering.com for info on family life! There is a lot left to our own choices. I've never sat in Relief Society and heard a discussion on breastfeeding or co-sleeping, or any other such baby raising topic. But I do hear a lot "be righteous mothers" "be the best mother you can" and general stuff like that.
In fact I've seen some atrocious examples of parenting in the church, like one mother hissing at her kids in Sacrament meeting "you better shut up and be reverent or else I'll take you out and lock you in the car!!" This was in the middle of winter in Wisconsin, so it was quite the threat! I was horrified! poor kids. But I realize she simply did not have the skills or knowledge to cope with the half dozen kids she had. She so needed a copy of Mothering magazine. Maybe in her eyes she was teaching the kids respect and love towards God! She was trying to follow rules and force her children to, rather than really listening to the Spirit. She was caught up in appearances rather than true love and devotion towards God.
An equivalent example of a father in a hallway with his 4 yr old son, saying "you get back in primary and behave or else you'll get a spanking like you won't believe!" He was a Mormon father thinking he's doing a favor to his kid by forcing him to primary, but if he'd payed any attention to the Spirit, would he threaten and scream at the child like that?
I have also seen some amazing examples of kind and loving parents in the church. Another father I saw lovingly held and softly spoke to his little boy all through Sunday School, because the boy didn't want to go to primary.
All I'm saying, is key to being a good person is to follow the constant guidance and intuition God sends you. Forget all the little nit-picky rules for a while--what to wear, what to think, what to speak, how many ear piercings you should have blah blah blah. Forget worrying about what others think of you. Go to church because you want to reflect on and worship God, and want to make your life more God and Christ centered. Don't go because you feel obligated or worry what will people think if you don't go.
And forget this belief "if I am a good person, only good things should happen to me." It's simply not true! I'm an amazing and wonderful person . Perfect in every way! But I've been raped, abused, homeless, jobless, scandalized, neglected, sick,...I could go on (right now my mother-in-law is living with us--life is sooo unfair)! Somehow, reading my scriptures daily didn't keep life from happening to me! The scriptures promise "blessings" for following God. And I have been enormously blessed--blessed with seeing the angels who watch over me when my own family abandoned and ostracized me. Blessed with a deep sense of right and wrong. Blessed with an awareness of the constant guidance we are given. Blessed with dreams and visions which give me insight into life. Blessed with an awareness of when evil is around and to be on guard.
Study Buddhism, not to spite God, but as another means of connecting and growing spiritually. I have listened to Pema Chodron, a Buddhist teacher, and especially enjoyed her interpretation of The Way of the Bodhisattva. I have learned Transcendental Meditation and that alone has made a huge impact on my life. I also enjoy listening to Caroline Myss. I consider her a great spiritual teacher. And she's not Mormon! There are many others... seek truth boldly wherever you may find it!
Wish you all the best in your search for God...