Afternoon Meltdowns

[ToadJode]

My 3 month old twin girls are generally very well-tempered and happy...however, EVERY day we face the dreaded afternoon meltdown. It's late afternoon/early evening, before we start bathing/feeding/bedtime process. Well, we feed them as needed whenever they want, but this is well before that last bottle before bed.

I don't know how to handle it or what to do. It's like nothing will console them. Diapers clean and dry. Bellies are full. Not sick. Not being ignored. NO IDEA what is going on with them!! They scream and scream and scream, don't want to be held but don't want to be put down. They don't care about rattles, jungle gyms, bouncy chairs, anything...it seems like they just want to scream.

Any thoughts or suggestions?

[Llyra]

Is this a new thing, or something that's been going on for awhile?

If it's new-- I think I'd be looking at their daytime sleep. That kind of screaming, at that kind of day, would make me think maybe their day is leaving them overtired and overstimulated. Three month olds will still need multiple sleeps during the day-- it's a good rule of thumb that after 60 to 90 minutes of awake time, you should start trying for another nap.

If it's been going on for a while, you have my sympathy. My DS was my colicky baby-- he screamed for hours and hours, almost every evening, for his first four months. The good news about colic is that you can expect that baby will outgrow it, very soon. In the meantime, it's a good idea to wear them as much as possible during the day, to reduce daytime overstimulation, and make sure they're sleeping plenty during the day. Time spent outdoors every day can help, too. I'm not sure why, but I know from all three of my kids that it's very effective.

Finally-- you may want to think about an earlier bedtime. This is the age when we started putting them to bed early. For a long time, my twins wanted to be asleep by 6 pm each day. That got later, gradually, but the earlier bedtime really does help you head off the fussy time.

Good luck! It's a hard age, and twins are so difficult because what might work with a singleton (constant babywearing, for instance, or cluster feeding) is so much more difficult with two babies.

[ToadJode]

See, I was trying to put them to bed LATER because they are sleeping through the night pretty much from 7pm - 7am (sometimes will wake up for a mid-night feeding) and I figured if they went to bed much earlier they would be up and ready to play way too early for us. I don't mind getting up for feedings in the middle of the night, but I'd rather not have to wake up and stay awake because they are tired of sleeping. Does that make sense??

It's relatively recent...maybe a few weeks?

I can't wear them during the day because I work and my Mom who watches them just doesn't do it. Once they get fussy though, forget about wearing them. They claw at me and try to pry themselves out of the wrap.

[Llyra]

Unfortunately, with a lot of babies, putting them to bed later doesn't necessarily help them sleep better at night. It just makes them overtired and edgy and inconsolable. Most sleep experts will tell you that in babies, sleep begets sleep-- the more soundly they sleep during the day, and the earlier they go to bed, the more soundly they'll sleep at night. It's certainly not true for every single child-- my DD1, for example, would always sleep well, no matter when I put her to bed, and if I put her to bed later, she'd just sleep late in the morning to make up for it. But it is true for most babies.

If they won't allow you to wear them when they're fussing, have you tried taking them outside-- if you walk at a steady, rhythmic pace, often they'll settle right down. My kids never liked being worn while I stood still, or even paced indoors, as much as they liked it when I walked outdoors. I don't know what your climate is like, but I always just buttoned my coat over top of them, so they'd be warm. It won't work with both twins at once, though-- our coats usually don't have that much extra room.

How are their naps, early in the day? (like up until about 2 or 3 pm?) If they're awake a lot during that time, that might be the time to try and get better sleep in.

[ToadJode]

Okay, so more naps throughout the day??

I was worried that if they slept too much during the day, they won't sleep at night.

[Llyra]

I was too. Until I started reading a bit about sleep and children.

Yeah, more sleep early in the day would be exactly what I would try first. I would try for the first nap 60 to 90 minutes after they wake up in the morning, and repeat that cycle all day, with a longer stretch of about 2 to 3 hours late in the afternoon.

So for my DS (who's a preschooler now, but his patterns stay in my memory vividly because he was my fussiest baby):
wake up was at about 6:30 am
first nap at 7:30, he'd sleep until about 10
Next nap at 11:30, he'd sleep until about 12:15
Next nap at about 1:45, and he'd sleep until about 3
Then a brief catnap around 4, in arms on the breast,
and bedtime between 6 and 6:30

He did feed at night, though-- he would sleep soundly until about 10 pm, and then spend the rest of the night on and off the breast.

But I did a similar pattern with both my girls, too. DD2 woke two or three times at night to nurse, at that age, mostly later in the night. DD1 was bottle-fed, and slept through the night by about 3 months old.

FWIW, it's very unusual for babies so young to sleep so long at night. I know my DD1 was exceptional. And lots of babies have sleep regressions at about four months. So if they suddenly start waking more often, it may not be that you're doing something wrong-- it may be that you've been enjoying an unusual treat...

[karen1968]

Were your twins very early? They could just now be hitting that fussy/colicy stage a term baby hits around 6 weeks...

For more about fussy times, sleep regression and "wonder weeks", check out the archives at askMoxie.com  There is lots of great information there that will, if nothing else, reassure you that this too shall pass. 

[ToadJode]

Nope, they were full term.

[Plummeting]

I agree they sound tired. Did this start around the same time you started trying to keep them up later? When babies get overtired they act CRAZY, and the more tired they are the WORSE they sleep. I agree with trying to get them to bed when they start acting that way or getting them more naps during the day.