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My cousin died a senseless death.

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 

On Monday night, in Paris, France, my little cousin V was on her way to get a well-deserved holiday massage. She had just returned to France from Spain, where she had been working and living, to support her mother as her father underwent aggressive treatment for inoperable prostate cancer. That night, she took the subway. When she got to her stop, she was randomly pushed by a thief who'd stolen someone's purse and was struggling to get away. She fell backwards down 8 steps and hit her head. She died of a cerebral hemorrage by the time she arrived at the hospital.


She was 25.


She was such a passionate, driven, unconventional Viet girl; she definitely didn't listen to her mother and lived her life exactly the way she wanted. She worked in fashion marketing.


I admired her nerve, her style, and her humour.


Though we hadn't seen each other in over a decade, we reconnected a few years back, sharing long emails about our lives. We chatted on FB regularly. I saw her on three days ago, thought about messaging her and then remembered I had little time, so I didn't. I so regret that now. 


Because V. died under violent circumstances, her body is being autopsied, and her family won't be able to hold the funeral until the body is released.


I'm struggling to find the sense in this death.


I feel pangs of extreme sadness, followed by periods of numbness, and then guilt for even feeling sad, because there are many other people who were deserve to grieve more than me.


Rest in peace my dearest V. I know you are in God's hands now. I will miss you so much.

post #2 of 19

I'm so, so sorry for your and your family's loss.

post #3 of 19

hug.gif So sorry this happened.

post #4 of 19

So very sorry. candle.gif

post #5 of 19

I'm so sorry greensad.gif  V. sounds like she was an amazing woman...my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family hug2.gif

post #6 of 19

so sorry for this tragic loss. YOU very much deserve to grieve. and grieve.

post #7 of 19

So very sorry for your family candle.gif

post #8 of 19
Couldn't read and not post. i'm so very sorry. Condolences to you and your family.
post #9 of 19



I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I, too, lost a cousin the summer before last in a tragic accident that was highly publicized in the montreal media. While for everyone the news is now a distant memory, for me, and the rest of the family her loss is very much present in our hearts and minds. She was 33 when she passed away.

post #10 of 19

hug2.gif  Sorry for your loss.

post #11 of 19

I only just came across this now, and hope it's not too late to offer my sympathies. A life that was finished well before her prime. How is her family coping?

post #12 of 19

Thank you for your sympathies.

post #13 of 19

Huge hugs to you.  Never feel guilty about grieving.  Your cousin sounds like a really amazing person.  candle.gif

post #14 of 19

I am just so incredibly sorry!!! ((((hugs))))

post #15 of 19

My cousin also died a senseless death.  She died in childbirth at a major tertiary care medical center.  Who even dies in childbirth anymore?  I couldn't believe the odds.  I am sure you are feeling the same way about your cousin's death (who dies in a subway that way?)  It's really unbelievable.  I really related to how you said you feel pangs of extreme sadness alternating with numbness and guilt for even being sad.  That's exactly how I feel too.  My cousin was 35 and extremely healthy.  She was happily married, madly in love, with 18-month old twins.  She was so excited about greeting her daughter and was so passionate about being the best mother she could be.  She was creative, sassy, loving, smart, thoughtful, nurturing, generous and so passionate about life, family, food, photography, and being the best person she could possibly be.  I didn't see her for more than a year before she died.  I didn't see her throughout her entire pregnancy.  I thought about her and we tried to get together but our busy schedules and long geographic distance didn't allow a reunion.  I loved her so.  I was her little cousin and I admired and adored and idolized her my whole life.  She was the glue that held our family together in many ways.  The world has suffered a terrible loss with her untimely death.  


My deepest sympathies go out to you and to your cousin's family.

post #16 of 19


post #17 of 19

Sorry for your loss. 

post #18 of 19

Oh no. I'm so sorry. :(

post #19 of 19

I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin. It IS so senseless and unfair.

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